My Personal Rebrand

 

“Imitation is the sincerest form of television,” said radio satirist Fred Allen. In that vein I am contemplating changing my handle so that I can get in on the cutting edge of media today. Introducing EJHill+.

What will be coming from EJHill+? Not much more or different, really. But I’ve got 1,300 posts in the can and hundreds of photoshops. “But all of that stuff is obsolete and dated,” you say. Of course it is, but we know that value is all in the presentation. To begin with, this obsolescence will never be referred to. No, no, no. This is the stuff from The Vault. Everyone knows only valuables are kept in The Vault. It has to be important. I mean, it’s both italicized and trademarked.

Next, everything in The Vault™ will come with a trigger warning:

This content includes negative depictions and/or mistreatment of liberals. These depictions were dead on the money then and are mostly vindicated now. Rather than remove this content, we want to acknowledge its harmful impact on Progressives and their causes, learn from it and spark conversation. EJHill+ is committed to creating content with inspirational and aspirational themes that reflect the rich diversity of the human experience around the globe. And screw you, you whiny little turd.

Ok, maybe it won’t carry that last line. Legal is still working on that. But this is to let you know that you’re walking a fine line just by showing up. By God, how could you read that paragraph and not feel you’re committing a subversive act from the get-go?! Why the article itself will be considered so hot you’ll want to order your own EJHill+ branded hazmat suit. (Merch!)

To be honest, Major Investors* are questioning this move. Ratings for the regular EJHill have been, well, stagnant, especially in “the coveted demo.” There has been talk about delaying the launch until The Board votes on it. (I swear the dog gave me her proxy! She’s a Wire Proxed Terrier!) But I believe I have set reasonable goals with reasonable expectations. All it has to do is last one day longer than CNN+.

*The wife.

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There are 23 comments.

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  1. DrewInWisconsin, Oik Member
    DrewInWisconsin, Oik
    @DrewInWisconsin

    It has to be important. I mean, it’s both italicized and trademarked.

    I am here for this.

    • #1
  2. Douglas Pratt Coolidge
    Douglas Pratt
    @DouglasPratt

    Thanks for reminding me of Fred Allen. “Television is called The Medium because nothing is well done.”

    • #2
  3. Gossamer Cat Coolidge
    Gossamer Cat
    @GossamerCat

    Love this! (or Like+™)

    • #3
  4. BDB Coolidge
    BDB
    @BDB

    As long as we get video of your branding.

    • #4
  5. BDB Coolidge
    BDB
    @BDB

    Let’s Go Branding!

    • #5
  6. EJHill Podcaster
    EJHill
    @EJHill

    BDBAs long as we get video of your branding.

    Kinky. That’s for the OnlyFans account.

    • #6
  7. Percival Thatcher
    Percival
    @Percival

    EJHill: And screw you, you whiny little turd.

    A sentiment that needs to be expressed more frequently.

    • #7
  8. The Great Adventure Coolidge
    The Great Adventure
    @TGA

    Isn’t this  sort of like releasing Chuck Mangione’s Greatest Hits?  ;-)

    • #8
  9. Percival Thatcher
    Percival
    @Percival

    The Great Adventure (View Comment):

    Isn’t this sort of like releasing Chuck Mangione’s Greatest Hits? ;-)

    Don’t be dissin’ the Chuckster!

    • #9
  10. Gary McVey Contributor
    Gary McVey
    @GaryMcVey

    “Industry observers call it a “soft launch” pending the EJHill+ re-acquisition of EJHill content licensed from Ricochet. com, as well as scattered intellectual properties remaining under old contracts at RedState, Instapundit and HotAir. According to CEO and founder EJ Hill, ‘Consolidation of right-wing streaming creates synergies of scale that should cross all key demographics. Addition of packaged goods marketing specialists to our strategy will strengthen our ability to deliver value to our shareholders'”

    • #10
  11. Caryn Thatcher
    Caryn
    @Caryn

    Love it, EJ.  I’ll buy the merch.  I need a new hazmat suit.  (It’s a long story.)

    • #11
  12. DaveSchmidt Coolidge
    DaveSchmidt
    @DaveSchmidt

    I was thinking of Chuck Conner. 

    • #12
  13. The Great Adventure Coolidge
    The Great Adventure
    @TGA

    Percival (View Comment):

    The Great Adventure (View Comment):

    Isn’t this sort of like releasing Chuck Mangione’s Greatest Hits? ;-)

    Don’t be dissin’ the Chuckster!

    Not dissin on him – one of the greatest one hit wonders of all time!  But Dude has released 4 different greatest hits albums.  They all contain Feels So Good, of course! 

    • #13
  14. The Great Adventure Coolidge
    The Great Adventure
    @TGA

    Gary McVey (View Comment):

    “Industry observers call it a “soft launch” pending the EJHill+ re-acquisition of EJHill content licensed from Ricochet. com, as well as scattered intellectual properties remaining under old contracts at RedState, Instapundit and HotAir. According to CEO and founder EJ Hill, ‘Consolidation of right-wing streaming creates synergies of scale that should cross all key demographics. Addition of packaged goods marketing specialists to our strategy will strengthen our ability to deliver value to our shareholders’”

    I work for one of the Big 4 consulting firms, but I take my hat off in awe at your consultantese skills.

    • #14
  15. Douglas Pratt Coolidge
    Douglas Pratt
    @DouglasPratt

    The Great Adventure (View Comment):

    Percival (View Comment):

    The Great Adventure (View Comment):

    Isn’t this sort of like releasing Chuck Mangione’s Greatest Hits? ;-)

    Don’t be dissin’ the Chuckster!

    Not dissin on him – one of the greatest one hit wonders of all time! But Dude has released 4 different greatest hits albums. They all contain Feels So Good, of course!

    Those albums usually come from the record label’s decision, not the fact that the artist doesn’t have any new material. Same with Christmas-themed albums and suchlike.

     

    • #15
  16. Percival Thatcher
    Percival
    @Percival

    The Great Adventure (View Comment):

    Percival (View Comment):

    The Great Adventure (View Comment):

    Isn’t this sort of like releasing Chuck Mangione’s Greatest Hits? ;-)

    Don’t be dissin’ the Chuckster!

    Not dissin on him – one of the greatest one hit wonders of all time! But Dude has released 4 different greatest hits albums. They all contain Feels So Good, of course!

    Chuck did the music for the movie Children of Sanchez. That was pretty good. My band worked with the arranger who put together an arrangement for bands that did it justice.

    • #16
  17. Chris O Coolidge
    Chris O
    @ChrisO

    EJHill+: And screw you, you whiny little turd.

    This shouldn’t be omitted, it should be the whole disclaimer.

     

    • #17
  18. TBA Coolidge
    TBA
    @RobtGilsdorf

    The Great Adventure (View Comment):

    Percival (View Comment):

    The Great Adventure (View Comment):

    Isn’t this sort of like releasing Chuck Mangione’s Greatest Hits? ;-)

    Don’t be dissin’ the Chuckster!

    Not dissin on him – one of the greatest one hit wonders of all time! But Dude has released 4 different greatest hits albums. They all contain Feels So Good, of course!

    I’ll diss him – I hate that tune!

    But he also wrote Children of Sanchez. 

    As Seen On Percyvision. (above) 

    • #18
  19. Percival Thatcher
    Percival
    @Percival

    TBA (View Comment):

    The Great Adventure (View Comment):

    Percival (View Comment):

    The Great Adventure (View Comment):

    Isn’t this sort of like releasing Chuck Mangione’s Greatest Hits? ;-)

    Don’t be dissin’ the Chuckster!

    Not dissin on him – one of the greatest one hit wonders of all time! But Dude has released 4 different greatest hits albums. They all contain Feels So Good, of course!

    I’ll diss him – I hate that tune!

    But he also wrote Children of Sanchez.

    As Seen On Percyvision. (above)

    • #19
  20. Gary McVey Contributor
    Gary McVey
    @GaryMcVey

    (Bloomberg Biznet) 27-08-22

    EJHill+ (NYSE SYMBOL EHL) 

    Major Bets Placed On Multiplatform Merchandising

    Intellectual Property Holder and Website Operator EJHill+ announces national cross-promotion agreements with the National Football League, Major League Baseball, global toymaker Mattel Industries, and energy provider ExxonMobil to merchandise a range of children’s toys for the 2022 Christmas season.

    Called “EJ’s Posse”, the 1/64th scale plastic models, action figures, and spring-loaded devices resemble the varied mobile units involved in live television sports production. Toys include a Live Truck, Camera and Cable trucks, a Microwave transmitter and antenna vehicle, as well as generators and the tankers that fuel them. 

    “There’s nothing woke about us”, said company founder and CEO EJ Hill. “We know that these will be boys’ toys. But we welcome any customers buying them for their daughters as well. If they want to grow up have jobs that require them to roll up hundreds of pounds of wet, dirty camera cable, I’d be the last to stand in their way.” 

    • #20
  21. OccupantCDN Coolidge
    OccupantCDN
    @OccupantCDN

    Chris O (View Comment):

    EJHill+: And screw you, you whiny little turd.

    This shouldn’t be omitted, it should be the whole disclaimer.

     

    Its also the first line in the Microsoft new terms of service contract…

    • #21
  22. DrewInWisconsin, Oik Member
    DrewInWisconsin, Oik
    @DrewInWisconsin

    TBA (View Comment):

    The Great Adventure (View Comment):

    Percival (View Comment):

    The Great Adventure (View Comment):

    Isn’t this sort of like releasing Chuck Mangione’s Greatest Hits? ;-)

    Don’t be dissin’ the Chuckster!

    Not dissin on him – one of the greatest one hit wonders of all time! But Dude has released 4 different greatest hits albums. They all contain Feels So Good, of course!

    I’ll diss him – I hate that tune!

    When I was in high school band, everyone in the brass section was trying to learn that song. I’ve heard it enough. I’ve heard it on Tuba.

     

    • #22
  23. EJHill+ Podcaster
    EJHill+
    @EJHill

    @garymcvey RE: Toy line.

    Two of the best sports camera operators I ever knew were (are) women.

    But the set wouldn’t be complete with out the guy with his arms crossed, just standing around and wearing white gloves. That would be the graphics guy. 

    • #23
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