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Reminiscence: A Letter of Recommendation for Barack Obama
October 1, 2016
To Whom It May Concern:
Although it seems like Mr. Barack Obama has worked as my president for much longer than eight years, I am thrilled to hear that he is pursuing a new position. You will be very lucky if you can get him to work for you.
As a citizen, taxpayer and voter, I have been in a position to directly oversee Barack’s professional development, and in short, I can’t recommend him highly enough. I’m confident you’ll be amazed by the scope of his skill set as I am. As for his leadership qualities, where does one begin? It is difficult to put into words exactly why you should put your trust in Mr. Obama but I can tell you this: you will be startled at the quality of his work. By the time he concludes his employment with us, I believe there won’t be a man, woman, or child in America who isn’t greatly indebted — literally.
Before joining our team, Mr. Obama was a senator from Illinois. At that time, Illinois was so bankrupt that it couldn’t even afford to pay its lottery winners. But the less said about Illinois, the better.
In his role as President of the United States, Mr. Obama reported directly to me, the American citizen. His signature accomplishment during his tenure was signing into law the Affordable Care Act, or “Obamacare” for short. (I’ve attached the legislation below as a pdf: you’ll have time read it in its entirety while in your doctor’s waiting room.)
Before Mr. Obama, the part-time position of President had been held predominantly by individuals who strove first and foremost to demonstrate basic competency at the job. Some were more successful than others, of course, but most understood – or thought they understood – the job’s limitations. Executing the nation’s laws is, as you can imagine, not a particularly glamorous job. Previous hires had mostly adopted a modest approach to the task, which seemed fitting given that the job requires, among other things, pretending to take Lindsey Graham seriously.
Mr. Obama is very certain of his goals and very dedicated to achieving them. If anything, Mr. Obama was at times too eager to complete tasks successfully and quickly, which ultimately serves as proof, I think, of his dedicated ambition to succeed and excel. He made it very clear from day one his intention to fundamentally change things around here. At this, he succeeded. In fact, many of us hardly recognize the place anymore!
In his capacity as president, Mr. Obama was a valuable asset to Democrats as he personally contributed greatly to the expansion and promotion of its greatest asset, the federal government. And thanks to easy-money fiscal policy and cheap loans from China, the federal government is now more affordable than ever. Need I say more?
If you have any questions or require further information about Mr. Obama’s impact on the trajectory of the United States, please don’t hesitate to contact me.
Please.
Sincerely,
David Deeble, Concerned Citizen
Published in Humor
During his tenure as an Illinois state senator, Mr. Obama voted present 138 times, which proved his excellent attendance record and proves his commitment to the concept that half of success is just showing up.
David – When they stood on the platform (he and Michele) in front of the crowd in Germany and announced Hope and Change were coming, he got the change part right. I thought he would be good for minorities and lifting people out of poverty, since he was known as a community organizer. As Senator I didn’t recall his achievements. Chicago didn’t improve. I think he admired Saul Alinsky (like Hilary) and so I read parts of Rules for Radicals. I think he followed the rules.
Here’s a book that describes more of his skill set:
https://www.christianpublications.us/product/revealed-book/
Excellent! This one needs a home!
If if if if if, uh, um, uh, you don’t love me and my impeccable leadership, you are a racist bigot!
Unfortunately, this was how a lot of people learned that there was an ‘s’ missing.
I couldn’t blame blacks who voted for him, figuring that if the tables were turned, I would probably vote for the first (half) white guy ever to make it to the ring. I hated this Marxist piece of garbage since early in the campaign, but I didn’t hold the 2008 election against blacks or even whites who got caught up in immutable characteristics rather than, you the business of Presidentin’.
2012 was another matter entirely. I should write about that someday and how it figures into my Deep Crimson Pill.
I kept trying to write an endorsement of your letter from Biden’s Supervisor, but I find that I can add nothing without either stealing crumbs or breaking tone. Nicely done C. Citizen!
All this for a damned flag?
That picture right there should have disqualified the little [12-letter word describing oedipal issues].
And let me tell you about his grandparents. His grandmother was a bank trust officer who saw to it that the heads of state in Asian countries got their monthly bribes and other ongoing intelligence operations were funded. His grandfather ran a school that spotted and trained intelligence assets. His mother was an English teacher who traveled around Asian countries conducting intelligence operations. Young Barack was a rather aimless boy who liked to smoke a lot of pot, but through his grandmother’s intervention with her employer, young Barack was taken under their wing and rather miraculously made it to Columbia and Harvard Law School.
Is that a “for real” magazine cover? That makes me ill.
Of course it is real … and it makes me ill too.
https://ricochet.com/837077/proof-positive-that-america-is-not-systemically-racist/
I was purging old files when I had a staff job in the Air Force and the drawer included a copy of a performance report written in the same snark about a worthless captain. It was great! He was soon gone but last I heard, he was a lawyer somewhere.
Worked with another crazy captain. We used to joke that wherever they assigned him next, a war would break out. His next assignment, Panama. Yep. I bet you can figure out the rest of the story.
The same fate as Douglas C. Niedermeyer?
Almost.
I remember when Michele lamented sadly that she was living in a house built by slaves (the WH) and another time she gave a speech about something or other saying that was the first time she felt proud of her country. Wow……
But did he pay back his student loans??