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New Disease Names
I saw this article about how WHO wants to change the name of monkeypox “to avoid offending any ‘ethnic, social, or professional groups and minimize harm to trade, travel, tourism, or animals.'”
In the cause of “Disease Name Justice,” other names should be changed:
Polio: could be found offensive by Polish people
German measles: they’re still smarting from WW2 (The disease was just following orders.)
Anthrax: offensive to ants
AIDS: offends working assistants
Black lung: do you really need to ask?
Mononucleosis: offends people who own stereos
Salmonella: offends people named Sal
Shingles: offends roofers
Cancer: offends people born between 6/21 and 7/22
Trench mouth: offends soldiers
Seasonal flu: offends sailors
Kawasaki disease: offends bikers who ride a certain brand
Swine flu: offends pigs and Democrats
Hookworms: offends hookers
I’m sure there are more, but you get the idea. We must not offend anyone!
Published in Humor
I would offer numbers as a substitute for words, but it would offend numerologists.
The Flu offends anyone who went to a Florida University.
Smallpox is offensive to little people.
Avian Flu offends people named Avian (I know one sobthete and I’m offended on their behalf)
Chicken Pox offends Frenchmen post WWI
Yellow Fever offends Asians
Hoof and Mouth disease is offensive to people attracted to farm animals
Dengue Fever could be seen as offensive to others on the LGBTQIA2+ spectrum since it singles out gays
Malaria would offend anyone named Larry implying that they own the disease.
There are no diseases. There are only constructs of diseases.
If you hear the word “monkey,” and the first thing that you think is that it is a racial slur directed at black people, then maybe you’re the one who thinks of them as monkeys. I don’t.
This does remind me of a line that I like from Douglas Murray, about “dog whistles.” Something like “if you hear the whistle, you’re the dog.”
China flu: offends the paymasters.
HunterPox?
When our son was in high school (almost 20 years ago) he had to be taught the racial slur about monkeys and black people because some people were offended by a comment from one of the big local radio hosts and making a lot of noise in the local media. So the people claiming offense resurrected the slur and the slur from just quietly dieing out from disuse. So now it’s happening again. Yet another generation has to be taught about a racial slur that would have been on its way to oblivion.
At the beginning of the coronavirus unpleasantness, I saw someone (was it here? Might’ve been) call it “the Fru” which remains my very favorite name.
I play polo. And I find this joke offensively exclusionary.
Standard in-joke in my house whenever someone mentions salmonella is “Hey! Sal Monella! He’s a friend of mine!” Nobody laughs anymore. I just get the eyeroll.
Well, you can tell them that some rando on the internet laughed.
Sal Monella will break your knees if you don’t laugh.
If WHO has time for stuff like that, it has more money than it needs.
Orgypox?
Ew.
Right reaction, accurate label.
I still think “PridePox” is the way to go . . .
In 1967 Sen. Warren Magnuson (Washington) sponsored a bill to require all labs, universities hospitals, etc. receiving federal funds to stop using the genus name “Salmonella,” replacing it with “Sanella,” out of concern that the current name cast undue aspersions on a major industry in his state. The bill seems to have met its deserved fate.
Fatty liver disease is just fat phobia
I guess “Wages of Syndrome” is right out.
Trench mouth might be offensive to Nancy Pelosi.