New Disease Names

 

I saw this article about how WHO wants to change the name of monkeypox “to avoid offending any ‘ethnic, social, or professional groups and minimize harm to trade, travel, tourism, or animals.'”

In the cause of “Disease Name Justice,” other names should be changed:

Polio: could be found offensive by Polish people

German measles: they’re still smarting from WW2 (The disease was just following orders.)

Anthrax: offensive to ants

AIDS: offends working assistants

Black lung: do you really need to ask?

Mononucleosis: offends people who own stereos

Salmonella: offends people named Sal

Shingles: offends roofers

Cancer: offends people born between 6/21 and 7/22

Trench mouth: offends soldiers

Seasonal flu: offends sailors

Kawasaki disease: offends bikers who ride a certain brand

Swine flu: offends pigs and Democrats

Hookworms: offends hookers

I’m sure there are more, but you get the idea.  We must not offend anyone!

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  1. Rodin Member
    Rodin
    @Rodin

    I would offer numbers as a substitute for words, but it would offend numerologists.

    • #1
  2. David C. Broussard Coolidge
    David C. Broussard
    @Dbroussa

    The Flu offends anyone who went to a Florida University. 

    Smallpox is offensive to little people. 

    Avian Flu offends people named Avian (I know one sobthete and I’m offended on their behalf)

    Chicken Pox offends Frenchmen post WWI

    Yellow Fever offends Asians

    Hoof and Mouth disease is offensive to people attracted to farm animals

    Dengue Fever could be seen as offensive to others on the LGBTQIA2+ spectrum since it singles out gays

    Malaria would offend anyone named Larry implying that they own the disease. 

    • #2
  3. James Hageman Coolidge
    James Hageman
    @JamesHageman

    There are no diseases. There are only constructs of diseases.

    • #3
  4. Jerry Giordano (Arizona Patriot) Member
    Jerry Giordano (Arizona Patriot)
    @ArizonaPatriot

    If you hear the word “monkey,” and the first thing that you think is that it is a racial slur directed at black people, then maybe you’re the one who thinks of them as monkeys.  I don’t.

    This does remind me of a line that I like from Douglas Murray, about “dog whistles.”  Something like “if you hear the whistle, you’re the dog.”

    • #4
  5. Not a Gubmint Spy Member
    Not a Gubmint Spy
    @OldDanRhody

    China flu: offends the paymasters.

    • #5
  6. E. Kent Golding Member
    E. Kent Golding
    @EKentGolding

    HunterPox?

    • #6
  7. Full Size Tabby Member
    Full Size Tabby
    @FullSizeTabby

    Jerry Giordano (Arizona Patrio… (View Comment):

    If you hear the word “monkey,” and the first thing that you think is that it is a racial slur directed at black people, then maybe you’re the one who thinks of them as monkeys. I don’t.

    This does remind me of a line that I like from Douglas Murray, about “dog whistles.” Something like “if you hear the whistle, you’re the dog.”

    When our son was in high school (almost 20 years ago) he had to be taught the racial slur about monkeys and black people because some people were offended by a comment from one of the big local radio hosts and making a lot of noise in the local media. So the people claiming offense resurrected the slur and the slur from just quietly dieing out from disuse. So now it’s happening again. Yet another generation has to be taught about a racial slur that would have been on its way to oblivion. 

    • #7
  8. Charlotte Member
    Charlotte
    @Charlotte

    At the beginning of the coronavirus unpleasantness, I saw someone (was it here? Might’ve been) call it “the Fru” which remains my very favorite name.

    • #8
  9. Flicker Coolidge
    Flicker
    @Flicker

    Stad:

    Polio: could be found offensive by Polish people

    I play polo.  And I find this joke offensively exclusionary.

    • #9
  10. Metalheaddoc Member
    Metalheaddoc
    @Metalheaddoc

    Standard in-joke in my house whenever someone mentions salmonella is “Hey! Sal Monella! He’s a friend of mine!” Nobody laughs anymore. I just get the eyeroll. 

    • #10
  11. Charlotte Member
    Charlotte
    @Charlotte

    Metalheaddoc (View Comment):

    Standard in-joke in my house whenever someone mentions salmonella is “Hey! Sal Monella! He’s a friend of mine!” Nobody laughs anymore. I just get the eyeroll.

    Well, you can tell them that some rando on the internet laughed.

    Sal Monella will break your knees if you don’t laugh.

    • #11
  12. The Reticulator Member
    The Reticulator
    @TheReticulator

    Stad: I saw this article about how WHO wants to change the name of monkeypox “to avoid offending any ‘ethnic, social, or professional groups and minimize harm to trade, travel, tourism, or animals.’ “

    If WHO has time for stuff like that, it has more money than it needs. 

    • #12
  13. The Scarecrow Thatcher
    The Scarecrow
    @TheScarecrow

    Orgypox?

    • #13
  14. Charlotte Member
    Charlotte
    @Charlotte

    The Scarecrow (View Comment):

    Orgypox?

    Ew.

    • #14
  15. Phil Turmel Coolidge
    Phil Turmel
    @PhilTurmel

    Charlotte (View Comment):

    The Scarecrow (View Comment):

    Orgypox?

    Ew.

    Right reaction, accurate label.

    • #15
  16. Stad Coolidge
    Stad
    @Stad

    Phil Turmel (View Comment):

    Charlotte (View Comment):

    The Scarecrow (View Comment):

    Orgypox?

    Ew.

    Right reaction, accurate label.

    I still think “PridePox” is the way to go . . .

    • #16
  17. Jeff Karr Coolidge
    Jeff Karr
    @worldeyes

    In 1967 Sen. Warren Magnuson (Washington) sponsored a bill to require all labs, universities hospitals, etc. receiving federal funds to stop using the genus name “Salmonella,” replacing it with “Sanella,” out of concern that the current name cast undue aspersions  on a major industry in his state. The bill seems to have met its deserved fate.

    • #17
  18. Marjorie Reynolds Coolidge
    Marjorie Reynolds
    @MarjorieReynolds

    Fatty liver disease is just fat phobia

     

    • #18
  19. BDB Coolidge
    BDB
    @BDB

    I guess “Wages of Syndrome” is right out.

    • #19
  20. Steve Fast Coolidge
    Steve Fast
    @SteveFast

    Trench mouth might be offensive to Nancy Pelosi.

    • #20
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