This post was promoted to the Main Feed by a Ricochet Editor at the recommendation of Ricochet members. Like this post? Want to comment? Join Ricochet’s community of conservatives and be part of the conversation. Join Ricochet for Free.

There are 31 comments.

Become a member to join the conversation. Or sign in if you're already a member.
  1. Barfly Member
    Barfly
    @Barfly

    They know because they’ve eaten lots of human flesh. You see, ever since the Trilateral Commission, they’ve been on a project to make human flesh taste like vegetables. That, in fact, was the original idea behind Soylent Green.

    This latest development, vegetarian long pork, must be from the postmodern wing.  I guess even the Illuminati get infected by critical theory.

    But if you think about it, the long term effort to turn humanity into an agricultural product explains quite a lot.

    • #1
  2. Cassandro Coolidge
    Cassandro
    @Flicker

    People know what human flesh tastes like because some societies have eaten it and described it to others.  Humans are called “long pig” apparently because the flesh tastes like pork.

    • #2
  3. Jimmy Carter Member
    Jimmy Carter
    @JimmyCarter

    “Tastes like chicken.”

    • #3
  4. MoFarmer Coolidge
    MoFarmer
    @mofarmer

    Something must have been lost or added during the translation. Swedes are fine people.

    • #4
  5. E. Kent Golding Member
    E. Kent Golding
    @EKentGolding

    Never set down your drink at a Vegan party….or drink from the punch bowl.    Best to bring your own food and drink; even better to avoid being around Vegans entirely.    If you feel sleepy,  get a friend on the phone and get out of there.  Drive drugged if you have to…..  do not pass out or fall asleep near the cannibals / vegans.

    • #5
  6. Cassandro Coolidge
    Cassandro
    @Flicker

    Jimmy Carter (View Comment):

    “Tastes like chicken.”

    If you bread and fry a chicken gizzard with herbs and garlic is that mostly vegan?

    • #6
  7. Jimmy Carter Member
    Jimmy Carter
    @JimmyCarter

    Cassandro (View Comment):

    Jimmy Carter (View Comment):

    “Tastes like chicken.”

    If you bread and fry a chicken gizzard with herbs and garlic is that mostly vegan?

    Depends:

    “mostly” vegan

    mostly “vegan”

     

    • #7
  8. Cassandro Coolidge
    Cassandro
    @Flicker

    MoFarmer (View Comment):

    Something must have been lost or added during the translation. Swedes are fine people.

    Are Swedish meatballs really made from Swedes?

    • #8
  9. Hang On Member
    Hang On
    @HangOn

    Cassandro (View Comment):

    MoFarmer (View Comment):

    Something must have been lost or added during the translation. Swedes are fine people.

    Are Swedish meatballs really made from Swedes?

    The Swedish meatballs are made in the same factory with Girl Scout Cookies.

    • #9
  10. Stina Member
    Stina
    @CM

    They asked David Leavitt (and yes, I’m not done thinking his story is hilarious).

    • #10
  11. Clavius Thatcher
    Clavius
    @Clavius

    Arthur C. Clarke already wrote this story. 

    The new successful artificial food is based on the taste of, shall we say, long pig?

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Food_of_the_Gods_(short_story)

     

    • #11
  12. Percival Thatcher
    Percival
    @Percival

    • #12
  13. Stad Coolidge
    Stad
    @Stad

    Have you noticed the huge effort to make vegetables taste like meat?  Why not simply eat meat?

    Yeah, yeah, I know they argue “animal cruelty” and “saving the planet,” but if eating meat is so repulsive to them, why do they want food to taste like real meat?

    • #13
  14. E. Kent Golding Member
    E. Kent Golding
    @EKentGolding

    Stad (View Comment):

    Have you noticed the huge effort to make vegetables taste like meat? Why not simply eat meat?

    Yeah, yeah, I know they argue “animal cruelty” and “saving the planet,” but if eating meat is so repulsive to them, why do they want food to taste like real meat?

    Cows,  Pigs, Deer, &  Chickens do an outstanding job of making vegetables taste like meat.

    • #14
  15. Percival Thatcher
    Percival
    @Percival

    E. Kent Golding (View Comment):

    Stad (View Comment):

    Have you noticed the huge effort to make vegetables taste like meat? Why not simply eat meat?

    Yeah, yeah, I know they argue “animal cruelty” and “saving the planet,” but if eating meat is so repulsive to them, why do they want food to taste like real meat?

    Cows, Pigs, Deer, & Chickens do an outstanding job of making vegetables taste like meat.

    • #15
  16. Paul Stinchfield Member
    Paul Stinchfield
    @PaulStinchfield

    • #16
  17. Clavius Thatcher
    Clavius
    @Clavius

    Paul Stinchfield (View Comment):

    Ah, you beat me to it.

    • #17
  18. Paul Stinchfield Member
    Paul Stinchfield
    @PaulStinchfield

    Clavius (View Comment):

    Paul Stinchfield (View Comment):

    Ah, you beat me to it.

    Like Chickenman, that meme is everywhere.

    • #18
  19. Victor Tango Kilo Member
    Victor Tango Kilo
    @VtheK

    A vegan, an atheist, and an EV driver walk into a bar. 

    Thirty seconds later, everyone knew. 

    • #19
  20. Victor Tango Kilo Member
    Victor Tango Kilo
    @VtheK

    • #20
  21. Vance Richards Member
    Vance Richards
    @VanceRichards

    Mmmm, Tofuman!

    Seriously though, who is their taste tester?

     

    • #21
  22. Painter Jean Member
    Painter Jean
    @PainterJean

    Stad (View Comment):

    Have you noticed the huge effort to make vegetables taste like meat? Why not simply eat meat?

    Yeah, yeah, I know they argue “animal cruelty” and “saving the planet,” but if eating meat is so repulsive to them, why do they want food to taste like real meat?

    And have you noticed that it never goes in the other direction? No one ever tries to make meat taste like vegetables.

    • #22
  23. Chowderhead Coolidge
    Chowderhead
    @Podunk

    Painter Jean (View Comment):

    Stad (View Comment):

    Have you noticed the huge effort to make vegetables taste like meat? Why not simply eat meat?

    Yeah, yeah, I know they argue “animal cruelty” and “saving the planet,” but if eating meat is so repulsive to them, why do they want food to taste like real meat?

    And have you noticed that it never goes in the other direction? No one ever tries to make meat taste like vegetables.

    What about plant rights? Poor little green things just sitting there helpless and innocent. 

     

    • #23
  24. Barfly Member
    Barfly
    @Barfly

    Painter Jean (View Comment):

    Stad (View Comment):

    Have you noticed the huge effort to make vegetables taste like meat? Why not simply eat meat?

    Yeah, yeah, I know they argue “animal cruelty” and “saving the planet,” but if eating meat is so repulsive to them, why do they want food to taste like real meat?

    And have you noticed that it never goes in the other direction? No one ever tries to make meat taste like vegetables.

    I thought that was Soylent Green.

    • #24
  25. Barfly Member
    Barfly
    @Barfly

    Soylent Brown is politicians.

    • #25
  26. RushBabe49 Thatcher
    RushBabe49
    @RushBabe49

    Blecch!

    • #26
  27. davenr321 Coolidge
    davenr321
    @davenr321

    These are hostile beings from the Vega star system. Their plan to enslave us all is through forced abhorrence of meat. Prime directive: extermination of Americans via recreational abortion. 

    • #27
  28. Cassandro Coolidge
    Cassandro
    @Flicker

    davenr321 (View Comment):

    These are hostile beings from the Vega star system. Their plan to enslave us all is through forced abhorrence of meat. Prime directive: extermination of Americans via recreational abortion.

    Yes.  They’re vay-gans.  VAY-gans.  Vegan has always been a real word.  I’ve even got my wife pronouncing it this way now.

    Beats vedg-ins.

    • #28
  29. OmegaPaladin Moderator
    OmegaPaladin
    @OmegaPaladin

    Personally, I approve of eating Vegans.  In fact, why not just eat our way through the entire left?

    • #29
  30. Cassandro Coolidge
    Cassandro
    @Flicker

    OmegaPaladin (View Comment):

    Personally, I approve of eating Vegans. In fact, why not just eat our way through the entire left?

    They give you gas.

    • #30
Become a member to join the conversation. Or sign in if you're already a member.