Am I The Only Person Who Doesn’t Care About the Noah Movie? — Tabula Rasa

 

Some things are best left to one’s imagination. That’s how I feel about most biblical “epics.” 

That’s also why the new movie about Noah fails to engage my interest, even though I like its cast. My unwillingness to get excited about the movie is totally aside from the arguments that God is strangely left out, or that it is basically an environmental screed, or that its special effects are the main character. 

There are exceptions. Some fine movies have been made about the life of Christ. Perhaps that’s because his story is so personal and accessible, and because so many memorable events are recorded in the Gospels.

But the Old Testament seems to bring out Hollywood’s propensity to turn spiritual history into extravaganza, ideology, or both. To my mind, the original material is far better than Hollywood’s imagination of it. Given its weekend grosses, Noah obviously has appeal to a large audience. But not me.

Do I have it wrong? Is it worth $8 and three hours of my time?

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  1. user_428379 Thatcher
    user_428379
    @AlSparks

    I’ve read that the movie is a rant about global warming.  I’m skipping it, not just because I disagree with the global warming movement, but any movie about the bible shouldn’t try to put some modern political agenda into it.

    • #1
  2. Giantkiller Member
    Giantkiller
    @Giantkiller

    I admit I don’t care much about it either.  I am a believer but Hollywood never had much to say about these things that I care to hear, especially at a price.

    • #2
  3. Nanda Panjandrum Member
    Nanda Panjandrum
    @

    No TR, you’re not the only one…Although I do have a certain nostalgia for Charlton Heston in “The Ten Commandments”.

    • #3
  4. PracticalMary Member
    PracticalMary
    @

    I’m disappointed (but not surprised) about the reviews, however the Ark loading scene in the trailer is too much to resist. I’m going.

    • #4
  5. Betty Inactive
    Betty
    @BettyW

    We won’t be going to see it.  Irked by the “global warming” propaganda.

    • #5
  6. Sandy Member
    Sandy
    @Sandy

    Entirely uninterested, exactly for the reasons you give, although I probably shouldn’t be counted because I find almost every movie advertised uninteresting.  I did love Lone Survivor, though.

    • #6
  7. Suzanne Temple Inactive
    Suzanne Temple
    @SuzanneTemple

    Curiosity got the best of me this weekend. I went to see it. It was way over the top. (Spoiler alert!!!!) It was like Lord of the Rings movie meets Clash of the Titans movie meets the Genesis story. There was some kind of magic snakeskin heirloom, magical seeds from Eden, an old wizard-like man living in a cave, and of course giant rock creatures which are supposed to be angels trapped in bodies of stone or something. They help Noah build the ark and fight off bad guys. Oh yeah, and while on the ark Noah comes to believe that God told him to knife his baby granddaughters to death. Yeah, really. Save your $.

    • #7
  8. Percival Thatcher
    Percival
    @Percival

    Nope.

    And I don’t really know why.  Mostly a lack of faith in the ability of Hollywood to do something like this and not screw it up.

    • #8
  9. Schrodinger's Cat Inactive
    Schrodinger's Cat
    @SchrodingersCat

    No, interest here.

    Why?

    Two words – Russell Crowe

    • #9
  10. Pseudodionysius Inactive
    Pseudodionysius
    @Pseudodionysius

    Let me just start by saying two words which you can accept as fair warning to avoid this stupidest movie in years: Rock People.

    Need more?

    Tragically, as Western Civilization continues to decay all around us, one thing remains unmuddled: everything is politics. And nowhere is that more true than in media. The same polarization that fired Phil Robertson of Duck Dynasty and then got him rehired, and made Mel Gibson $600 million, and then lost him his Hollywood career, and made half the world want to canonize Roman Polanski with the other half wanting him castrated — these are the same social causes propelling the embarrassingly awful horribleness of Darren Aronofsky’s Noah, into an 76% fresh rating from the shameless, agenda-driven critics at RottenTomatoes.com, and setting so many Christian leaders and critics into shilling for the same. Please, stop the madness. It is astounding to me how Christians can be lured into a defense of the indefensible because they are so afraid of the charge of “unreasonableness.” Trying so hard to be nice, we end up being patsies for people who have no other agenda than to make money off of us.

    • #10
  11. tabula rasa Inactive
    tabula rasa
    @tabularasa

    Schrodinger:  Crowe’s performance in Master and Commander still gives him credibility with me. But it’s got to be a really good movie before I’ll see it, and Noah doesn’t sound like the vehicle..

    • #11
  12. user_82762 Inactive
    user_82762
    @JamesGawron

    TR,

    I agree that ignoring this garbage would be most likely the best response.  However, strangely, I have the desire to have my local Orthodox Rabbi issue a fatwah against Aronofsky.  Then I get a very large knife with a very dull blade…wait a minute… oh I forgot.. we don’t do that.

    Never mind.

    Regards,

    Jim

    • #12
  13. 3rd angle projection Member
    3rd angle projection
    @

    I cared about it before I didn’t care about it. After reading/viewing some reviews it sounds like the honest thing to do would have been to name it “NOAA”.

    • #13
  14. Hartmann von Aue Member
    Hartmann von Aue
    @HartmannvonAue

    NO. And Pseudo’s quote from Matt Walsh nails the reasons why.

    • #14
  15. user_2505 Contributor
    user_2505
    @GaryMcVey

    Psuedodionysis

    and made Mel Gibson $600 million, and then lost him his Hollywood career,…

    Just a sidenote. It takes a lot of cojones to be an open, practicing conservative in Hollywood; it takes a certain steely resolve to be Jewish and Republican in some circles. I probably have met every person out here who’s both. Guys like David Horowitz and Lionel Chetwynd. When “Passion” opened they were among the only defenders Gibson had in town. They went way out on a limb for him. He repaid their courage and loyalty with an insane drunken anti-Semitic rant. Then there were the Catholics who stood up for him because he was such a good family guy. Well…

    Let’s leave ultimate judgment to the Ultimate Judge, but down here on earth I have no more sympathy or pity for a (self) tortured, talented man who trashed his career and betrayed most of his defenders. What a damn shame, and this time we can’t blame the culture, its gatekeepers, the media, etc. etc. 

    • #15
  16. C. U. Douglas Thatcher
    C. U. Douglas
    @CUDouglas

    Pseudodionysius:

    Let me just start by saying two words which you can accept as fair warning to avoid this stupidest movie in years: Rock People.

     I’d go if they were Rock Lobsters.

    • #16
  17. The King Prawn Inactive
    The King Prawn
    @TheKingPrawn

    meh.

    I couldn’t even capitalize the “meh.”

    • #17
  18. Misthiocracy Member
    Misthiocracy
    @Misthiocracy

    The trailer for Noah came out around the same time as the trailer for Paul W.S. Anderson’s Pompeii.

    The two trailers looked nearly identical, and since Paul W.S. Anderson is an utter hack, it really killed any interest for me in Noah.

    It looks like just another CGI disaster movie.  Yawn.

    Also, it drives me absolutely batty when I’m asked to believe that some skin-and-bones actress with salon-quality hair is supposed to be a hearty woman from pre-antiquity.

    • #18
  19. SteveSc Member
    SteveSc
    @SteveSc

    Nope, didn’t care before the Global Warming thing and still don’t care….

    • #19
  20. user_86050 Inactive
    user_86050
    @KCMulville

    Well, I think artistically, it’s important that we … I mean we owe a certain amount of … wait a minute, did you say “Rock People” as angels?

    • #20
  21. user_409996 Inactive
    user_409996
    @EdwardSmith

    I don’t care about the film either.

    Why have I been silent?  Because I don’t bother to talk about things I don’t care about.

    This is why it is important to recognize when to speak up.  Because the things we don’t care about can sneak up and bite us on the you-know-what.

    Mind you, the film Noah does not seem to be one of those things.  The pattern it is part of is worth getting upset about, however.

    • #21
  22. Jon Gabriel, Ed. Admin
    Jon Gabriel, Ed.
    @jon

    I’m indifferent as well. Could have been an interesting film to believers and unbelievers alike had they used David Maine’s book “The Preservationist” as a guide.

    • #22
  23. DrewInWisconsin Member
    DrewInWisconsin
    @DrewInWisconsin

    Being a dad with two young children who is too lazy to get babysitters, I really don’t go to movies anymore, unless they’re something my kids’ll want to see. (Our most recent outings were for “Frozen” and “The LEGO Movie.”)

    I make exceptions for movies with spaceships and movies with Hobbits.

    “Noah”? Even if it was soundly Biblical, I’d probably skip it. I heard the book is better anyway.

    So, having established myself as a “doesn’t go to movies” kind of person, I’ve found the commentary on “Noah” interesting. Prior to the release of the film, the people from my church were split between “Yeah, I’ve heard it really takes liberties with the Noah story, but that the message is still valid” and “I’ve heard it’s really un-Biblical and find no reason to support it.” (And then there were my people — the “Don’t really care either way” folks. I think we make up the largest portion.)

    But now this church split has been healed. Everyone who’s seen it — both supporters and detractors — seem to be on the same page: “Awful. Complete waste of time.”

    • #23
  24. Goldgeller Member
    Goldgeller
    @Goldgeller

    I really can’t decide. I read Eric Erickson’s review, which I gather was written to dissuade people from going, and well, the movie sounds like a wild ride. It sounds a lot like people’s enjoyment of the movie was conditioned upon how “faithful” they thought it would be to the original. I can see why– you say “this is ‘Noah’, about Noah; come see it Christians!” And then you find out you’ve taken a ride on the ruse cruise and it can be a bit disappointing. We’ve already read the press about Noah. But many more people haven’t, and will be taken in.

    I am tempted to see it, because well, if it is a good action/fantasy (sci-fi?) movie, then why not? I’d just want to know if it is paced well, and directed in a clever manner. Ultimately, “Noah” sounds so outlandish that the “not my Bible story” argument is a less relevant, and largely separate argument. I read a ton of comics, so I’ve learned to really let go of the “not my” critique, except in a few certain cases.

    • #24
  25. C. U. Douglas Thatcher
    C. U. Douglas
    @CUDouglas

    Actually, according to this article by Dr. Brian Mattson, the Noah story here has far more to do with Gnostic and Kabbalistic beliefs than environmental messaging. Mattson does a good job explaining some of the basic imagery and philosophy while noting the film probably has a lot more within.

    I’ll probably get the DVD on Netflix or something, still. I’m not sure if I’m inclined to pay theater price for it.

    • #25
  26. dash Inactive
    dash
    @dash

    Is James Bond in it? Or Captain America? I’d see it if they were, but that’s just me being me.

    • #26
  27. mask Inactive
    mask
    @mask

    Russell Crow is actually one of the reason’s I’m considering watching Noah.  I like a lot of his stuff.

    My only hesitancy isn’t about how closely the film hews to a biblical account it’s that I don’t want to spend $8 and 3 hours for what may be a hyper-environmentalism screed.  I don’t care if film makers take liberties with a source or use artistic license or whatever you want to call it but to imbue something with propaganda for a modern political message is not interesting to me.

    On the one hand Hugh Hewitt claims the film isn’t an environmentalist screed.  But others on the right who’ve actually seen it as well say it is.

    What do I believe?

    • #27
  28. mask Inactive
    mask
    @mask

    C. U. Douglas:
    Actually, according to this article by Dr. Brian Mattson, the Noah story here has far more to do with Gnostic and Kabbalistic beliefs than environmental messaging. Mattson does a good job explaining some of the basic imagery and philosophy while noting the film probably has a lot more within.
    I’ll probably get the DVD on Netflix or something, still. I’m not sure if I’m inclined to pay theater price for it.

     Thanks for that.  It makes the film seem more interesting.

    • #28
  29. mask Inactive
    mask
    @mask

    Anonymous

    C. U. Douglas: Actually, according to this article by Dr. Brian Mattson, the Noah story here has far more to do with Gnostic and Kabbalistic beliefs than environmental messaging. Mattson does a good job explaining some of the basic imagery and philosophy while noting the film probably has a lot more within. I’ll probably get the DVD on Netflix or something, still. I’m not sure if I’m inclined to pay theater price for it.

     Thanks for that.  It makes the film seem more interesting.Though Hugh Hewitt had the co-writer – Ari Handel – on for a radio hour to talk about the movie.  Handel mentioned that they went back a lot to the Bible but also discussed things with Jewish, Christian, and other scholars.  He didn’t bring up gnosticism or the kaballah at all.  This doesn’t contradict the theory but I wonder why he didn’t mention it.  Maybe he thought it would scare away a Christian audience?

    • #29
  30. Lumimies Member
    Lumimies
    @Lumimies

    Nanda Panjandrum:
    No TR, you’re not the only one…Although I do have a certain nostalgia for Charlton Heston in “The Ten Commandments”.

    I like The Ten Commandments as well, but the best biblical epic of all isn’t from the Bible at all: Ben Hur.

    This Noah sounds like an utterly mind-numbing waste of time.

    • #30
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