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Where Do We Get Such Men?
As you may have heard, there’s been slightly more than the usual amount of drama at the Washington Post the past few days. In the midst of the ongoing, junior-high quality drama, a young employee and Stanford graduate named Holden Foreman decided to white knight on behalf of the women generating the drama. He did this by tattling on male Washington Post employees who agreed with a different female employee that everybody should give it a rest, put the drama behind them and get back to work.
So, who is this courageous Generation Tide Pod person, Holden Foreman, standing up for the right of women to create and sustain workplace drama? As I said, he is a graduate of Stanford. While at Stanford, he apparently published an article … I am not making this up … complaining that he had to go hungry at college because eating food from a cafeteria was too traumatizing for him and he lacked the ability to determine for himself how much food to eat. The remedy he demanded … still not making this up… was that the university should cut and portion his food for him individually so he would be spared the trauma of eating at a buffet.
The specific type of disordered eating I experience has not been diagnosed, but it can be described as a compulsion to eat less than needed when I’m either in social settings or when I have trouble estimating the amount of food I’m consuming.
In theory, Stanford’s dining halls present students with the opportunity to eat as much as they need given its buffet format. Yet students like me may struggle to take enough of any of the available food when they are charged with portioning it themselves.
Admittedly, some buffets can be pretty scary. Golden Corral comes to mind. But this guy went to one of the most elite universities in the country and admits that he doesn’t even know how to feed himself. And he actually brags about it because dysfunction has become social currency in our culture.
Made-up psychosexual dramas. Made-up psychological disorders. This is the next generation of national leadership; selected by their privilege of attending elite institutions of higher education and selected for elite political status on the basis of those credentials.
We are so boned.
Published in General
Oh the Horrors! How can one be upset at all the things going wrong with the world when one is confronted by the horrible choice of what to eat or as he said how much to eat at a buffet? Such is the brilliance of Stanford these days!
Maybe there is a job waiting for him at the White House.
Soy Boy/Pajama Boy is not nearly insulting enough for someone like that.
He needs to stay tied to his mother’s apron strings. How did he get out of the house?
Would have lasted about 10 minutes in Marine Corps officer training. What a waste of flesh.
What we need is Bernie Sanders to come in and eliminate all that troublesome choice and confusing quantity.
I was warned by my mom to make sure my eyes weren’t bigger than my stomach. Found a guy whose eyes are smaller than his stomach.
Well, maybe. That’s the real problem, he can’t seem to tell either way!
Nothing says well-adjusted manliness like putting broccoli back in the buffet.
Brett was pretty lucky. He turned himself in.
So he’ll probably get a psych eval and be back at the smorgasbord in a year. Unlike the paraders of January 6th.
Speaking of lucky, can you imagine the impact of having Garland on the Supreme Court? What a colossal hack.
Hmm. In my experience, Golden Corral is less dangerous than the typical Chinese buffet….
I recall reading how the ancient Spartans would leave their newborns unattended overnight on the hillside to winnow the weak from the strong. Maybe a similar ritual could be incorporated into ivy league graduation ceremonies?
We had a few like this in Navy bootcamp back in the 80’s and they washed out. Let me say that Navy bootcamp, while not what I call fun, was something you had to work at getting thrown out of.
After thinking about my hunger for most of the section, I made my way to the dining hall after class, but I could bring myself to eat only a plate of grilled cauliflower.
Not even the guys at The Onion could have crafted this.
Naturally. When you bridle a horse, you actually want him to take the bit.
Holy, gee whiz, my wife did the same thing and I always had to feed her again after the perhaps twice a week cocktail/buffet. It started in our first joint overseas post, Singapore in the early seventies, and while we both found the giant buffets fantastic, she always under ate so I’d have to take her to one of the phenomenal Singapore restaurants, or food stands for that matter. I didn’t know it was a wide spread female problem.
The Golden Corral near my house is actually pretty good.
At least through this junior high level drama we have clear documentation to explain why we ignore The Washington Post. Like its peer The New York Times, The Washington Post is staffed with unserious and incapable people who do not deserve to be listened to.
Note to the wise: Don’t name your son after Holden Caulfield.
And don’t double down by middle-naming him Saige. 🙄🙄🙄
I’ll bet he doesn’t lift.
It’s astonishing that this guy can’t set to work figuring out what his right amount of meat, vegetable or salad and carbohydrate looks like on a plate, or in a bowl, so that he doesn’t have to make himself a pain in the you-know-where to the cafeteria staff.
It’s also incredible that people take these overgrown pre-teens seriously.
@vthek, superb post title. Well done.
I’ll bet that is exactly what his momma thought she was doing when she helped him pack his jammies for Stanford.
I love Golden Corral. The trick on a no-carb diet is to eat steaks. GCHas steaks… get a couple, add a whole roasted jalapeño and wig wham bam – go back for seconds. Grilled cauliflower is GREAT, mind you. The trick there is to eat A LOT of it, with meat.
But the question is… does this Stanford soy boy rate enough for the women? I mean, I’ll concede if he makes serious bank, but otherwise: ladies, what is the appeal?
I didn’t read anything about him being appealing to the ladies. Are you just assuming that he is, somehow?
If Golden Corral had a clever marketing department, they would sponsor Rifftrax and sell “Golden Corral’s New Slogan” T-shirts.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zQ_IqZTKhP0&t=23s
Funny comment. Not one I have any respect for.
Hmmmm… good point. I have to admit, yes. I mean, doesn’t he? Don’t white knights like girls? Isn’t that the point?
No clue what you mean.