Where Do We Get Such Men?

 

As you may have heard, there’s been slightly more than the usual amount of drama at the Washington Post the past few days.  In the midst of the ongoing, junior-high quality drama, a young employee and Stanford graduate named Holden Foreman decided to white knight on behalf of the women generating the drama.  He did this by tattling on male Washington Post employees who agreed with a different female employee that everybody should give it a rest, put the drama behind them and get back to work.

So, who is this courageous Generation Tide Pod person, Holden Foreman, standing up for the right of women to create and sustain workplace drama? As I said, he is a graduate of Stanford. While at Stanford, he apparently published an article … I am not making this up … complaining that he had to go hungry at college because eating food from a cafeteria was too traumatizing for him and he lacked the ability to determine for himself how much food to eat. The remedy he demanded … still not making this up… was that the university should cut and portion his food for him individually so he would be spared the trauma of eating at a buffet.

The specific type of disordered eating I experience has not been diagnosed, but it can be described as a compulsion to eat less than needed when I’m either in social settings or when I have trouble estimating the amount of food I’m consuming.

In theory, Stanford’s dining halls present students with the opportunity to eat as much as they need given its buffet format. Yet students like me may struggle to take enough of any of the available food when they are charged with portioning it themselves.

Admittedly, some buffets can be pretty scary. Golden Corral comes to mind. But this guy went to one of the most elite universities in the country and admits that he doesn’t even know how to feed himself. And he actually brags about it because dysfunction has become social currency in our culture. 

Made-up psychosexual dramas. Made-up psychological disorders. This is the next generation of national leadership; selected by their privilege of attending elite institutions of higher education and selected for elite political status on the basis of those credentials.

We are so boned.

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  1. Unsk Member
    Unsk
    @Unsk

    Oh the Horrors! How can one be upset  at all the things going wrong with the world when one is confronted by the horrible choice of what to eat   or as he said how much to eat  at a buffet?  Such is the brilliance of Stanford these days!

    Maybe there is a job waiting for him at the White House. 

    • #1
  2. kedavis Coolidge
    kedavis
    @kedavis

    Soy Boy/Pajama Boy is not nearly insulting enough for someone like that.

    • #2
  3. Jim McConnell Member
    Jim McConnell
    @JimMcConnell

    He needs to stay tied to his mother’s apron strings. How did he get out of the house?

    • #3
  4. navyjag Coolidge
    navyjag
    @navyjag

    Would have lasted about 10 minutes in Marine Corps officer training. What a waste of flesh.  

    • #4
  5. TBA Coolidge
    TBA
    @RobtGilsdorf

    Unsk (View Comment):

    Oh the Horrors! How can one be upset at all the things going wrong with the world when one is confronted by the horrible choice of what to eat or as he said how much to eat at a buffet? Such is the brilliance of Stanford these days!

    Maybe there is a job waiting for him at the White House.

    What we need is Bernie Sanders to come in and eliminate all that troublesome choice and confusing quantity. 

    • #5
  6. Bishop Wash Member
    Bishop Wash
    @BishopWash

    I was warned by my mom to make sure my eyes weren’t bigger than my stomach. Found a guy whose eyes are smaller than his stomach. 

    • #6
  7. kedavis Coolidge
    kedavis
    @kedavis

    Bishop Wash (View Comment):

    I was warned by my mom to make sure my eyes weren’t bigger than my stomach. Found a guy whose eyes are smaller than his stomach.

    Well, maybe.  That’s the real problem, he can’t seem to tell either way!

    • #7
  8. Joker Member
    Joker
    @Joker

    Nothing says well-adjusted manliness like putting broccoli back in the buffet.

    Brett was pretty lucky. He turned himself in.

    So he’ll probably get a psych eval and be back at the smorgasbord in a year. Unlike the paraders of January 6th.

    Speaking of lucky, can you imagine the impact of having Garland on the Supreme Court? What a colossal hack.

    • #8
  9. Phil Turmel Coolidge
    Phil Turmel
    @PhilTurmel

    Hmm.  In my experience, Golden Corral is less dangerous than the typical Chinese buffet….

    • #9
  10. Ekosj Member
    Ekosj
    @Ekosj

    • #10
  11. Michael Brehm Coolidge
    Michael Brehm
    @MichaelBrehm

    I recall reading how the ancient Spartans would leave their newborns unattended overnight on the hillside to winnow the weak from the strong. Maybe a similar ritual could be incorporated into ivy league graduation ceremonies?

    • #11
  12. AMD Texas Member
    AMD Texas
    @DarinJohnson

    navyjag (View Comment):

    Would have lasted about 10 minutes in Marine Corps officer training. What a waste of flesh.

    We had a few like this in Navy bootcamp back in the 80’s and they washed out. Let me say that Navy bootcamp, while not what I call fun, was something you had to work at getting thrown out of.

    • #12
  13. Old Bathos Moderator
    Old Bathos
    @OldBathos

    After thinking about my hunger for most of the section, I made my way to the dining hall after class, but I could bring myself to eat only a plate of grilled cauliflower.

    Not even the guys at The Onion could have crafted this.

    • #13
  14. BDB Coolidge
    BDB
    @BDB

    AMD Texas (View Comment):

    navyjag (View Comment):

    Would have lasted about 10 minutes in Marine Corps officer training. What a waste of flesh.

    We had a few like this in Navy bootcamp back in the 80’s and they washed out. Let me say that Navy bootcamp, while not what I call fun, was something you had to work at getting thrown out of.

    Naturally.  When you bridle a horse, you actually want him to take the bit.

    • #14
  15. I Walton Member
    I Walton
    @IWalton

    Holy, gee whiz, my wife did the same thing and I always had to feed her again  after the perhaps twice a week cocktail/buffet.  It started in our first joint overseas post,   Singapore in the early seventies, and while we both found the giant buffets fantastic, she always under ate so I’d have to take her to one of the phenomenal Singapore  restaurants, or food stands for that matter.    I didn’t know it was a wide spread female problem.

    • #15
  16. Jerry Giordano (Arizona Patriot) Member
    Jerry Giordano (Arizona Patriot)
    @ArizonaPatriot

    Phil Turmel (View Comment):

    Hmm. In my experience, Golden Corral is less dangerous than the typical Chinese buffet….

    The Golden Corral near my house is actually pretty good.

    • #16
  17. Full Size Tabby Member
    Full Size Tabby
    @FullSizeTabby

    At least through this junior high level drama we have clear documentation to explain why we ignore The Washington Post. Like its peer The New York Times, The Washington Post is staffed with unserious and incapable people who do not deserve to be listened to. 

    • #17
  18. Kephalithos Member
    Kephalithos
    @Kephalithos

    Note to the wise: Don’t name your son after Holden Caulfield.

    • #18
  19. Charlotte Member
    Charlotte
    @Charlotte

    Kephalithos (View Comment):

    Note to the wise: Don’t name your son after Holden Caulfield.

    And don’t double down by middle-naming him Saige. 🙄🙄🙄

    • #19
  20. DrewInWisconsin, Unapologetic Oaf Member
    DrewInWisconsin, Unapologetic Oaf
    @DrewInWisconsin

    I’ll bet he doesn’t lift.

    • #20
  21. Ansonia Member
    Ansonia
    @Ansonia

    It’s astonishing that this guy can’t set to work figuring out what his right amount of meat, vegetable or salad and carbohydrate looks like on a plate, or in a bowl, so that he doesn’t have to make himself a pain in the you-know-where to the cafeteria staff.

    It’s also incredible that people take these overgrown pre-teens seriously.

    • #21
  22. Charlotte Member
    Charlotte
    @Charlotte

    @vthek, superb post title. Well done. 

    • #22
  23. Muleskinner, Weasel Wrangler Member
    Muleskinner, Weasel Wrangler
    @Muleskinner

    Michael Brehm (View Comment):

    I recall reading how the ancient Spartans would leave their newborns unattended overnight on the hillside to winnow the weak from the strong. Maybe a similar ritual could be incorporated into ivy league graduation ceremonies?

    I’ll bet that is exactly what his momma thought she was doing when she helped him pack his jammies for Stanford.

    • #23
  24. davenr321 Coolidge
    davenr321
    @davenr321

    I love Golden Corral. The trick on a no-carb diet is to eat steaks. GCHas steaks… get a couple, add a whole roasted jalapeño and wig wham bam – go back for seconds. Grilled cauliflower is GREAT, mind you. The trick there is to eat A LOT of it, with meat. 

    But the question is… does this Stanford soy boy rate enough for the women? I mean, I’ll concede if he makes serious bank, but otherwise: ladies, what is the appeal?

    • #24
  25. kedavis Coolidge
    kedavis
    @kedavis

    davenr321 (View Comment):

    I love Golden Corral. The trick on a no-carb diet is to eat steaks. GCHas steaks… get a couple, add a whole roasted jalapeño and wig wham bam – go back for seconds. Grilled cauliflower is GREAT, mind you. The trick there is to eat A LOT of it, with meat.

    But the question is… does this Stanford soy boy rate enough for the women? I mean, I’ll concede if he makes serious bank, but otherwise: ladies, what is the appeal?

    I didn’t read anything about him being appealing to the ladies.  Are you just assuming that he is, somehow?

    • #25
  26. kedavis Coolidge
    kedavis
    @kedavis

     

     

    • #26
  27. Victor Tango Kilo Member
    Victor Tango Kilo
    @VtheK

    davenr321 (View Comment):
    I love Golden Corral

    If Golden Corral had a clever marketing department, they would sponsor Rifftrax and sell “Golden Corral’s New Slogan” T-shirts.

     

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zQ_IqZTKhP0&t=23s

    • #27
  28. AMD Texas Member
    AMD Texas
    @DarinJohnson

    BDB (View Comment):

    AMD Texas (View Comment):

    navyjag (View Comment):

    Would have lasted about 10 minutes in Marine Corps officer training. What a waste of flesh.

    We had a few like this in Navy bootcamp back in the 80’s and they washed out. Let me say that Navy bootcamp, while not what I call fun, was something you had to work at getting thrown out of.

    Naturally. When you bridle a horse, you actually want him to take the bit.

    Funny comment. Not one I have any respect for.

    • #28
  29. davenr321 Coolidge
    davenr321
    @davenr321

    kedavis (View Comment):

    davenr321 (View Comment):

    I love Golden Corral. The trick on a no-carb diet is to eat steaks. GCHas steaks… get a couple, add a whole roasted jalapeño and wig wham bam – go back for seconds. Grilled cauliflower is GREAT, mind you. The trick there is to eat A LOT of it, with meat.

    But the question is… does this Stanford soy boy rate enough for the women? I mean, I’ll concede if he makes serious bank, but otherwise: ladies, what is the appeal?

    I didn’t read anything about him being appealing to the ladies. Are you just assuming that he is, somehow?

    Hmmmm… good point. I have to admit, yes. I mean, doesn’t he? Don’t white knights like girls? Isn’t that the point? 

     

    • #29
  30. BDB Coolidge
    BDB
    @BDB

    AMD Texas (View Comment):

    BDB (View Comment):

    AMD Texas (View Comment):

    navyjag (View Comment):

    Would have lasted about 10 minutes in Marine Corps officer training. What a waste of flesh.

    We had a few like this in Navy bootcamp back in the 80’s and they washed out. Let me say that Navy bootcamp, while not what I call fun, was something you had to work at getting thrown out of.

    Naturally. When you bridle a horse, you actually want him to take the bit.

    Funny comment. Not one I have any respect for.

    No clue what you mean.

    • #30
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