Zoom Panel Featuring Clinton, Toobin, and Weiner Goes About as Well as Expected

 

A highly-touted online panel purportedly addressing criminal justice featuring Bill Clinton, Jeffrey Toobin, and Anthony Weiner went about as well as could be expected on Thursday as all three men ended up in varying degrees of undress.

Approximately twenty minutes into the conference, Mr. Weiner seemed to lose interest when Mr. Clinton was discussing the merits of a carbon tax. Shortly thereafter the former representative for New York’s 9th district proceeded to remove his shirt in order to send a selfie to an individual he addressed as “AngelsSlut22@Yahoo.”

A short time later Mr. Clinton was asked about green energy subsidies. The former president responded by sipping from a rail drink, loosening his tie, and calling upon Mr. Weiner to “Send me her pic” – an apparent reference to Ms. AngelSlut. Mr. Weiner ignored the request, however, stating that he is to be addressed as “Carlos Danger.”

During the question-and-answer portion of the panel, a viewer submitted a question to Mr. Toobin regarding the legal complexities of cap-and-trade. Mr. Toobin, apparently unaware that his camera was on, was taking the opportunity to engage in an act so disgusting that even The New Yorker felt compelled to fire him.

Many of the more than 5,000 individuals who paid $100 to participate in the online conference later complained about the poor sound quality of Mr. Toobin’s microphone. In response, the former CNN contributor promised that moving forward he would log in from an indoor location.

Published in Humor
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  1. Dave of Barsham Member
    Dave of Barsham
    @LesserSonofBarsham

    • #1
  2. Steven Seward Member
    Steven Seward
    @StevenSeward

    Just hilarious, but almost too real!  You should be paying these guys royalties for just laying material right  in your lap.

    • #2
  3. Stad Coolidge
    Stad
    @Stad

    Steven Seward (View Comment):

    Just hilarious, but almost too real! You should be paying these guys royalties for just laying material right in your lap.

    You mean this wasn’t real?  Dammit, David!

    • #3
  4. Columbo Member
    Columbo
    @Columbo

    • #4
  5. David Deeble Member
    David Deeble
    @DavidDeeble

    Stad (View Comment):

    Steven Seward (View Comment):

    Just hilarious, but almost too real! You should be paying these guys royalties for just laying material right in your lap.

    You mean this wasn’t real? Dammit, David!

    I find things are funnier if there’s a hint of plausibility. Also, you work “Toobin” and “Weiner” into the same headline and the rest is just filling…

    • #5
  6. Old Bathos Moderator
    Old Bathos
    @OldBathos

    While you guys are chuckling, Clinton, Weiner, and Toobin will likely be named to run programming for Disney Junior and Nickelodeon.  Coming to your cable channel soon:  Hold This! and Oh that Uncle Bill

    These hetero-perv offerings will be intended to balance the planned “queering” of other programming:  Fangaysia, Peter Pansy, and Swish Family Robinson…

    • #6
  7. Stad Coolidge
    Stad
    @Stad

    David Deeble (View Comment):

    Stad (View Comment):

    Steven Seward (View Comment):

    Just hilarious, but almost too real! You should be paying these guys royalties for just laying material right in your lap.

    You mean this wasn’t real? Dammit, David!

    I find things are funnier if there’s a hint of plausibility. Also, you work “Toobin” and “Weiner” into the same headline and the rest is just filling…

    Oh yeah, that was genius!

    • #7
  8. Stad Coolidge
    Stad
    @Stad

    Old Bathos (View Comment):

    While you guys are chuckling, Clinton, Weiner, and Toobin will likely be named to run programming for Disney Junior and Nickelodeon. Coming to your cable channel soon: Hold This! and Oh that Uncle Bill!

    These hetero-perv offerings will be intended to balance the planned “queering” of other programming: Fangaysia, Peter Pansy, and Swish Family Robinson…

    Don’t leave out revamped Disney titles such as:

    Blow White and the Seven Dwarfs

    Cinderfella (actual Jerry Lewis movie by that name)

    A Bugger’s Life

    The Little Merman

    The Lion Queen

    Marty Poppins

     

    • #8
  9. Columbo Member
    Columbo
    @Columbo

    David Deeble (View Comment):

    Stad (View Comment):

    Steven Seward (View Comment):

    Just hilarious, but almost too real! You should be paying these guys royalties for just laying material right in your lap.

    You mean this wasn’t real? Dammit, David!

    I find things are funnier if there’s a hint of plausibility. Also, you work “Toobin” and “Weiner” into the same headline and the rest is just filling…

    • #9
  10. Stad Coolidge
    Stad
    @Stad

    Columbo (View Comment):

    David Deeble (View Comment):

    Stad (View Comment):

    Steven Seward (View Comment):

    Just hilarious, but almost too real! You should be paying these guys royalties for just laying material right in your lap.

    You mean this wasn’t real? Dammit, David!

    I find things are funnier if there’s a hint of plausibility. Also, you work “Toobin” and “Weiner” into the same headline and the rest is just filling…

    Could the driver of the Wienermobile claim to drive a “big rig?”

    • #10
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