Fake News Live

 

Before the pandemic, I’d perform on cruise ships every few weeks. It’s a great gig: well-paying, responsive audiences and an opportunity to visit places as diverse as Ushuaia and Singapore. While I’m certain that restrictions such as lockdowns impacted others more than me, they certainly changed my life significantly. Much of it was for the good: I began spending more time with my wife and children than ever. I learned to cook – and to love it. I spent months intensely rehabilitating an injury to my foot and then seamlessly transitioning to another rehab after surgery on my knee, culminating in the completion of my second marathon. (Pro-tip: getting physically stronger is the closest thing to a cure-all for aches and pains.) I’m now again fully fit and looking forward to our family’s skiing trip.

All the while, though, I was writing, writing, writing. It’s kind of strange to write jokes with no imminent opportunity to perform them, even if it’s so much as an open mic. I did perform several so-called “Zoom shows” during the pandemic but it’s just not the same. There was something depressing about looking out at the audience while I’m performing and everyone is starring at their devices.

No charge for that joke.

I began following trends in the cruise industry (to the extent that it existed.) Some form of cruising resumed about a year ago but it didn’t seem to resemble the status quo ante so much as an at-sea experiment in Covid maximalism: audiences greatly restricted in size, spread out and far from the stage; masks to be worn whenever leaving your stateroom; and everywhere – everywhere – Covid theater featuring the 24/7 sanitization of surfaces. (One can only imagine what such a germ-free environment does to your immune system.)

As I followed these developments I developed the feeling that I wasn’t missing much. Then my agent sent me an email with an offer: a week aboard the Regal Princess sailing between Funchal, Portugal, and Barcelona, Spain. Better yet, shortly before I was to fly out many cruise lines began greatly relaxing their restrictions. Once onboard, I was delighted to see that far from passengers sitting poolside wearing hazmat suits, the environment was refreshingly open – even to an aggressive non-masker like me.

Perhaps best of all, the cruise afforded me the opportunity to bring to the stage all-new material that has been rattling around my head for the last two years. When my shows were over I realized that in a sense I had been working harder over the last two years than I had before the pandemic. And while it took a while to enjoy the fruits of my labor, it was well worth it.

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There are 23 comments.

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  1. Arahant Member
    Arahant
    @Arahant

    David Deeble: When my shows were over I realized that in a sense I had been working harder over the last two years than I had before the pandemic.

    It’s no longer the American way to work hard. Good thing you’re in Europe.

    • #1
  2. David Deeble Member
    David Deeble
    @DavidDeeble

    Arahant (View Comment):

    David Deeble: When my shows were over I realized that in a sense I had been working harder over the last two years than I had before the pandemic.

    It’s no longer the American way to work hard. Good thing you’re in Europe.

    I’m not so sure about that. Princess is an American cruise line and the passengers were overwhelmingly American. Tempting though it may be to be cynical, it is indisputable that directionally things are getting better, especially in the last few months. 

    • #2
  3. kedavis Inactive
    kedavis
    @kedavis

    David Deeble (View Comment):

    Arahant (View Comment):

    David Deeble: When my shows were over I realized that in a sense I had been working harder over the last two years than I had before the pandemic.

    It’s no longer the American way to work hard. Good thing you’re in Europe.

    I’m not so sure about that. Princess is an American cruise line and the passengers were overwhelmingly American. Tempting though it may be to be cynical, it is indisputable that directionally things are getting better, especially in the last few months.

    The real test may be how your audiences vote, come November.

    • #3
  4. Doctor Robert Member
    Doctor Robert
    @DoctorRobert

    Nice that you saved the best joke for last!

    • #4
  5. Matt Bartle Member
    Matt Bartle
    @MattBartle

    I literally LOL’d.

     

    • #5
  6. Stad Coolidge
    Stad
    @Stad

    David Deeble: There was something depressing about looking out at the audience while I’m performing and everyone is starring at their devices.

    You think that’s depressing?  Try having your wife stare at her device while you’re snuggling up to her . . .

    • #6
  7. The Reticulator Member
    The Reticulator
    @TheReticulator

    That was good. But when are you going to get blocked by YouTube? 

    • #7
  8. David Deeble Member
    David Deeble
    @DavidDeeble

    Doctor Robert (View Comment):

    Nice that you saved the best joke for last!

    Some would debate that!

    • #8
  9. Stad Coolidge
    Stad
    @Stad

    David Deeble (View Comment):

    Doctor Robert (View Comment):

    Nice that you saved the best joke for last!

    Some would debate that!

    I thought the one about the delayed execution was too close to the truth!

    • #9
  10. David Deeble Member
    David Deeble
    @DavidDeeble

    Stad (View Comment):

    David Deeble (View Comment):

    Doctor Robert (View Comment):

    Nice that you saved the best joke for last!

    Some would debate that!

    I thought the one about the delayed execution was too close to the truth!

    Comedy can never get too close to truth! (Alternate headline: Man Sentenced To Gas Chamber Required To Wear Covid Mask) 

    • #10
  11. Stad Coolidge
    Stad
    @Stad

    David Deeble (View Comment):

    Stad (View Comment):

    David Deeble (View Comment):

    Doctor Robert (View Comment):

    Nice that you saved the best joke for last!

    Some would debate that!

    I thought the one about the delayed execution was too close to the truth!

    Comedy can never get too close to truth! (Alternate headline: Man Sentenced To Gas Chamber Required To Wear Covid Mask)

    Oh man . . . I can see that too!  How about, “California passes law that requires death row inmates’ last meals be nutritionally balanced”?

    • #11
  12. kedavis Inactive
    kedavis
    @kedavis

    Stad (View Comment):

    David Deeble (View Comment):

    Stad (View Comment):

    David Deeble (View Comment):

    Doctor Robert (View Comment):

    Nice that you saved the best joke for last!

    Some would debate that!

    I thought the one about the delayed execution was too close to the truth!

    Comedy can never get too close to truth! (Alternate headline: Man Sentenced To Gas Chamber Required To Wear Covid Mask)

    Oh man . . . I can see that too! How about, “California passes law that requires death row inmates’ last meals be nutritionally balanced”?

    Didn’t I read sometime in the past that, somewhere, inmates about to be executed were not allowed a smoke because it was bad for their health?

    • #12
  13. GLDIII Purveyor of Splendid Malpropisms Reagan
    GLDIII Purveyor of Splendid Malpropisms
    @GLDIII

    Dave,

    There is a bunch of us Ricochetti that are planning to go on the National Review Institute Post election Cruise. It launches from Ft Lauderdale on Nov 12th thru to Nov 19th on the Sky Princess. Do you think you can weasel a gig from Princess cruises for that week.

    Thanks,

    George 

    http://nricruise.com

    • #13
  14. David Deeble Member
    David Deeble
    @DavidDeeble

    Stad (View Comment):

    David Deeble (View Comment):

    Stad (View Comment):

    David Deeble (View Comment):

    Doctor Robert (View Comment):

    Nice that you saved the best joke for last!

    Some would debate that!

    I thought the one about the delayed execution was too close to the truth!

    Comedy can never get too close to truth! (Alternate headline: Man Sentenced To Gas Chamber Required To Wear Covid Mask)

    Oh man . . . I can see that too! How about, “California passes law that requires death row inmates’ last meals be nutritionally balanced”?

    Love it. California Death Row Inmate Demands Gluten-Free Last Meal

    • #14
  15. David Deeble Member
    David Deeble
    @DavidDeeble

    GLDIII Purveyor of Splendid Ma… (View Comment):

    Dave,

    There is a bunch of us Ricochetti that are planning to go on the National Review Institute Post election Cruise. It launches from Ft Lauderdale on Nov 12th thru to Nov 19th on the Sky Princess. Do you think you can weasel a gig from Princess cruises for that week.

    Thanks,

    George

    http://nricruise.com

    Man, that sounds like a blast but sadly I don’t get to pick and choose. 

    • #15
  16. David Deeble Member
    David Deeble
    @DavidDeeble

    For Ricochetti in Southern California and Arizona, I’ll be swinging through the region in the month of July. I hope to meet some of you. 

    • #16
  17. kedavis Inactive
    kedavis
    @kedavis

    David Deeble (View Comment):

    For Ricochetti in Southern California and Arizona, I’ll be swinging through the region in the month of July. I hope to meet some of you.

    Whew, I got out of Arizona just in time!

     

     

    • #17
  18. Fake John/Jane Galt Coolidge
    Fake John/Jane Galt
    @FakeJohnJaneGalt

    kedavis (View Comment):

    David Deeble (View Comment):

    For Ricochetti in Southern California and Arizona, I’ll be swinging through the region in the month of July. I hope to meet some of you.

    Whew, I got out of Arizona just in time!

    Now it seems I need to sell my Arizona property

    • #18
  19. Steven Seward Member
    Steven Seward
    @StevenSeward

    Stad (View Comment):

    David Deeble: There was something depressing about looking out at the audience while I’m performing and everyone is starring at their devices.

    You think that’s depressing? Try having your wife stare at her device while you’re snuggling up to her . . .

    She was looking at your naked pictures online.

    • #19
  20. Stad Coolidge
    Stad
    @Stad

    kedavis (View Comment):

    Stad (View Comment):

    David Deeble (View Comment):

    Stad (View Comment):

    David Deeble (View Comment):

    Doctor Robert (View Comment):

    Nice that you saved the best joke for last!

    Some would debate that!

    I thought the one about the delayed execution was too close to the truth!

    Comedy can never get too close to truth! (Alternate headline: Man Sentenced To Gas Chamber Required To Wear Covid Mask)

    Oh man . . . I can see that too! How about, “California passes law that requires death row inmates’ last meals be nutritionally balanced”?

    Didn’t I read sometime in the past that, somewhere, inmates about to be executed were not allowed a smoke because it was bad for their health?

    I wonder what Hannibal Lecter would order . . .

    • #20
  21. David Deeble Member
    David Deeble
    @DavidDeeble

    The Reticulator (View Comment):

    That was good. But when are you going to get blocked by YouTube?

    That would be an honor…

    • #21
  22. Stad Coolidge
    Stad
    @Stad

    David Deeble (View Comment):

    The Reticulator (View Comment):

    That was good. But when are you going to get blocked by YouTube?

    That would be an honor…

    Good thing I subscribed to your channel before it happens . . .

    • #22
  23. Tedley Member
    Tedley
    @Tedley

    Pro-tip: getting physically stronger is the closest thing to a cure-all for aches and pains.

    Great act, loved it, @daviddeeble!  And this point is so true; a good workout once a week is helping me (nearing 60) avoid the aches, pains and physical ailments that my parents went through.  Minimizing weight gain also helps.

    If you ever swing by the Tokyo area, it’d be great to have a small meetup.  I don’t know how many Ricochetti are still over here, would find out quickly.

    • #23
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