One Doctor’s Personal Choice about Masking

 

This morning on my walk, two seniors passed me—fully masked. It annoys the heck out of me, even though it’s none of my business. But I can’t help cogitating about people who cheerfully (I could tell they smiled as they walked by) live in fear.

Yet a visit to my oncologist yesterday slightly shifted my attitude towards masks. (I was there for a six-month check-up.)

As I sat in the exam room, the doctor walked in. He’s originally from Pakistan, very bright, cordial, and competent, and I always appreciate the time I spend with him.

And, of course, he was masked, as was I (following the rules).

As he sat down, I asked if he minded if I removed my mask, and he said that was fine. I invited him to remove his mask, and he declined, which initiated a thoughtful discussion about both our choices regarding masks.

To present the full picture, the doctor told me about some of his encounters with Covid and masking. He had to travel to Pakistan to see his 86-year-old father, who had contracted Covid and, as he explained, he assumed he was going there to bury him. He spent 10 days with his father in a Covid unit, fully masked. His father finally recovered, and the doctor himself didn’t become sick.

Then he spoke about masking and his patients. In past years, he’s almost always gotten a virus around January. When he gets sick, his patients get very angry due to his lack of availability. And for the past two years, he’s been virus-free, wearing his mask during patient interactions.

I then shared with him that I would be taking two trips in April: one to Baltimore for Passover with the @iwe family for four days, and the second trip to Cincinnati for a large wedding at a hotel. When I mentioned the wedding, his eyebrows raised a bit. Since I was curious about his input, he said that in that large a group, he would wear a mask. He called it a super-spreader event. In addition, he acknowledged that I would probably get a lot of eye-rolling for wearing a mask and maybe sarcastic comments, but it might be worth it. He told me about the wedding of a friend’s son. The elderly mother-in-law desperately wanted to not attend, but the family insisted. Around 80 people became ill with minor symptoms; the mother-in-law became more seriously ill. She died.

Our entire conversation was personal, sincere, and caring. During my ride home, I gave some thought to masking for the wedding, as much as I despised the idea. I thought about my personal commitment to try to normalize my life as much as possible. I remembered that I was determined not to be governed by fear. When I arrived home, I told my husband about my conversation with the doctor. He reminded me that we had attended a Hillsdale event of 900 people just a couple of weeks ago. He developed a sinus infection; I was fine.

*     *     *     *

My conversation with my doctor was very meaningful for me. First, he didn’t initiate the mask discussion; I did. Second, there was nothing heavy-handed about his suggestions; he was giving me his professional and personal reasons for his own decisions. Although in the end, he believed I would be wise to mask-up, nothing about his manner was elitist or condescending. Meanwhile, the choice is ultimately mine.

I’m going to the wedding with great joy and with bells on.

And no mask.

[photo courtesy of Evgeni Tcherkasski  on unsplash.com.]

 

Published in Healthcare
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There are 38 comments.

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  1. Jim McConnell Member
    Jim McConnell
    @JimMcConnell

    As always, I admire your independence of thought and action.

    I think doctors must sometimes have a difficult time discussing the masking issue with their patients. While they may not think the mask is required in most settings, what if they told a patient that and the patient contracted the virus? I imagine if I were the doctor, I would err on the pro-mask side.

    • #1
  2. Fake John/Jane Galt Coolidge
    Fake John/Jane Galt
    @FakeJohnJaneGalt

    COVID is a strange thing.  I am obese, have respiratory and heart issues and catch colds all the time.  I have had 3 colds in the last month.  Strangely I have spent significant time with at least 3 people with COVID and did not pick it up.  I figured I would either from them or somebody else by now.  

    • #2
  3. Annefy Member
    Annefy
    @Annefy

    Fake John/Jane Galt (View Comment):

    COVID is a strange thing. I am obese, have respiratory and heart issues and catch colds all the time. I have had 3 colds in the last month. Strangely I have spent significant time with at least 3 people with COVID and did not pick it up. I figured I would either from them or somebody else by now.

    This has been my experience as well. I’m pretty sure I had Covid in Oct 2020 though I tested negative. Obviously I exposed my husband. He has not missed a day at work (always maskless) and been exposed umpteen times. Our four children have lived normal busy lives, two of them have moved, several of them have done extensive traveling; one is just back from working in Mexico City. They only wear masks on planes where it’s required. 

    Not so much as a sniffle. I heard a doc awhile ago posit that there’s a percentage of people who have immunity without ever getting the virus (a couple of my kids have been tested for antibodies; no love)

    • #3
  4. Rodin Member
    Rodin
    @Rodin

    I agree with your decision about the wedding. The example the doctor provided about a wedding was masking for the protection of the attendee, not by the attendee to protect others. People who genuinely feel they would be putting others at risk should stay home, not go wearing a mask. And that is the right way to think about it. I can handle others wearing masks if they believe they are protecting themselves. It is their right to do so. Compelling others is not their right to do.

    • #4
  5. Susan Quinn Contributor
    Susan Quinn
    @SusanQuinn

    Rodin (View Comment):

    I agree with your decision about the wedding. The example the doctor provided about a wedding was masking for the protection of the attendee, not by the attendee to protect others. People who genuinely feel they would be putting others at risk should stay home, not go wearing a mask. And that is the right way to think about it. I can handle others wearing masks if they believe they are protecting themselves. It is their right to do so. Compelling others is not their right to do.

    We agree. Another factor in the mix is that I’m on prednisone which can dampen the immune system. And I’m sure I could come up with all kinds of other excuses, that only compromise my decision to lead a rich life. I’m good! Thanks, Rodin.

    • #5
  6. Stad Coolidge
    Stad
    @Stad

    Susan Quinn: And no mask.

    Superspreader!

    • #6
  7. Susan Quinn Contributor
    Susan Quinn
    @SusanQuinn

    Stad (View Comment):

    Susan Quinn: And no mask.

    Superspreader!

    That’s me–and I’ll spread as much joy as I can!!

    • #7
  8. Stina Inactive
    Stina
    @CM

    Susan Quinn:

    His father finally recovered, and the doctor himself didn’t become sick.

    Then he spoke about masking and his patients. In past years, he’s almost always gotten a virus around January.

    I always get laryngitis or a cough around November that lasts til February. During COVID, I have not had either.

    But I have been pretty insistent on NOT masking.

    I think the doctor is over estimating the value of the mask and under estimating a host of other measures taken – like an increased emphasis on disinfecting and cleanliness.

    • #8
  9. Susan Quinn Contributor
    Susan Quinn
    @SusanQuinn

    Stina (View Comment):
    I think the doctor is over estimating the value of the mask and under estimating a host of other measures taken – like an increased emphasis on disinfecting and cleanliness.

    You could be right, Stina. I’ve tried to be so careful about washing my hands. I mentioned that to the doc and he agreed.

    • #9
  10. Stad Coolidge
    Stad
    @Stad

    Susan Quinn (View Comment):

    Stad (View Comment):

    Susan Quinn: And no mask.

    Superspreader!

    That’s me–and I’ll spread as much joy as I can!!

    Good one!

    • #10
  11. Fake John/Jane Galt Coolidge
    Fake John/Jane Galt
    @FakeJohnJaneGalt

    Annefy (View Comment):

    Fake John/Jane Galt (View Comment):

    COVID is a strange thing. I am obese, have respiratory and heart issues and catch colds all the time. I have had 3 colds in the last month. Strangely I have spent significant time with at least 3 people with COVID and did not pick it up. I figured I would either from them or somebody else by now.

    This has been my experience as well. I’m pretty sure I had Covid in Oct 2020 though I tested negative. Obviously I exposed my husband. He has not missed a day at work (always maskless) and been exposed umpteen times. Our four children have lived normal busy lives, two of them have moved, several of them have done extensive traveling; one is just back from working in Mexico City. They only wear masks on planes where it’s required.

    Not so much as a sniffle. I heard a doc awhile ago posit that there’s a percentage of people who have immunity without ever getting the virus (a couple of my kids have been tested for antibodies; no love)

    I think I may have had it directly from the source back in January of 2020.  Had the antibody test later that said I have never had COVID so who knows.  My brother has also been around a few people with COVID his wife and our mother and did not pick it up.  So maybe there is a genetic component.  

    • #11
  12. Mad Gerald Coolidge
    Mad Gerald
    @Jose

    Last August I had to go to the Emergency Room at midnight for a painful but non-life threatening condition.  Our ER is in a small branch hospital in a rural area of a red state.

    Before I reached the registration desk I was intercepted by Security and given a mask to wear.  Of course, all the staff were masked.

    I was quickly put in an exam room and the nurse collected my vitals.  He took my temperature orally, and as he pulled my mask down the strap broke.  The mask dangled uselessly off one ear. I expected to be given another mask but none was offered. 

    The nurse finished what he was doing, the doctor came in and examined me, I was led away for x-rays and back, the doc gave me a diagnosis, and another nurse came in and treated my symptoms.  I finally walked out without a mask, somewhat amazed that no one asked me to replace the broken one.  I really wondered what all the medical providers thought about masking.

    • #12
  13. Susan Quinn Contributor
    Susan Quinn
    @SusanQuinn

    Mad Gerald (View Comment):
    The nurse finished what he was doing, the doctor came in and examined me, I was led away for x-rays and back, the doc gave me a diagnosis, and another nurse came in and treated my symptoms.  I finally walked out without a mask, somewhat amazed that no one asked me to replace the broken one.  I really wondered what all the medical providers thought about masking.

    I’m tempted to say that many of them are ambivalent about masks, at the very least. But that’s just a guess. Thanks, MG

    • #13
  14. DonG (CAGW is a Hoax) Coolidge
    DonG (CAGW is a Hoax)
    @DonG

    Susan Quinn: This morning on my walk, two seniors passed me—fully masked. It annoys the heck out of me, even though it’s none of my business.

    I assume anybody wearing a mask these days is actually a spy that is worried about lip-readers intercepting their clandestine conversations.   Spies…they are everywhere!

    • #14
  15. Susan Quinn Contributor
    Susan Quinn
    @SusanQuinn

    DonG (CAGW is a Hoax) (View Comment):

    Susan Quinn: This morning on my walk, two seniors passed me—fully masked. It annoys the heck out of me, even though it’s none of my business.

    I assume anybody wearing a mask these days is actually a spy that is worried about lip-readers intercepting their clandestine conversations. Spies…they are everywhere!

    OMG, Don! Who knew??

    • #15
  16. EHerring Coolidge
    EHerring
    @EHerring

    At the concert last weekend, packed venue, maybe one in ten people, if even that many, wore a mask. It was the first concert where masks were optional. Most chose to not wear them. Most who did wear them were elderly so I have no issue with their choice. People can accept choice but not being forced to wear a mask or attacked for not wearing a mask. Sadly, the maskers have said so many negative things about those who choose not to wear mask that we tend to look at all masked people with suspicion.

    edited to make sense now that I have had my coffee.

    • #16
  17. The Scarecrow Thatcher
    The Scarecrow
    @TheScarecrow

    This is a wonderful story, with lots of heart, as we always get from you. And you make a great point about how some can be pro-mask without being aggressive jerks about it.

    But one thing the doctor leaves out of his advice: that most of the best data show that almost all of the masks that people are wearing DON’T DO ANYTHING. How automatically we all keep forgetting that.

    Same with hand sanitizer. That stuff is way more bad than good, in most situations. And it was settled very early on that it makes no difference in Covid transmission. Yet people keep using the stuff. “Science” indeed. Good grief.

    So go to the wedding. Forget the mask. Enjoy yourself. Whatever is going to happen is going to happen regardless of your mask. You would do better to wear a Groucho mask and smoke a cigar. At least you would get a few laughs.

    • #17
  18. Front Seat Cat Member
    Front Seat Cat
    @FrontSeatCat

    You are lucky to have such a thoughtful and concerned doctor. Based on his advice, you go forward. Covid has wound down here in the US but……I had lunch with a friend whose son is in the military in Germany. They are insisting that he take his allotted vacation and visit family.  He is in a somewhat high-ranking position, and his family flew over at Christmas. Even so, she told me there is a “new” (double-UGH!) variant that is rampant in Europe right now – gads – when will it be over. He and his family have to go through the Covid screening.

    Being that you have a compromised immune system, you should take extra careful precautions.  Best wishes!

    • #18
  19. Full Size Tabby Member
    Full Size Tabby
    @FullSizeTabby

    Assuming the masks do help reduce the transmission of viruses, there are still many other factors that have to be evaluated, factors that each person will weigh differently. What is the health risk to me or to others in my proximity presented by the virus(es)? What level of discomfort (if any) is a reasonable tradeoff for reducing the potential reduction of health risk? How much effort am I willing to put forth to wear and handle a mask properly, according to strict medical protocols, to ensure its effectiveness? How much communication or other facial interaction with others am I willing to give up for that potential reduction of health risk? How will that reduced communication and other interaction affect the people with whom I expect to communicate and interact? Does a mask convey to others a message of safety and caring, or does it convey a message that the wearer is afraid, or a message that others should fear the mask wearer (robber or other criminal)? How comfortable am I conveying that message? There are probably other factors. Each person will put different weights on each of the different factors that go into the decision of whether or not to wear a mask in a particular situation. The decision about whether to wear a mask is much more complicated than the binary question of, “Does it reduce virus transmission?”

    • #19
  20. Saint Augustine Member
    Saint Augustine
    @SaintAugustine

    Is the virus not aerosolized?

    Does that not mean that it travels in particles small enough to go right through the mask?

    Does Omicron not reproduce fast enough in the outer airways that it goes everywhere in an unventilated indoor space after it gets through the mask?

    If someone’s actually coughing, wear a mask to slow down the [gross medical word]. Otherwise, if you’re worried about the virus, take a vitamin and open a window; windows are effective, masks not so much.

    • #20
  21. Susan Quinn Contributor
    Susan Quinn
    @SusanQuinn

    The Scarecrow (View Comment):
    But one thing the doctor leaves out of his advice: that most of the best data show that almost all of the masks that people are wearing DON’T DO ANYTHING. How automatically we all keep forgetting that

    I think he knows that. They help very little, but they provide a little protection. 

    • #21
  22. The Reticulator Member
    The Reticulator
    @TheReticulator

    DonG (CAGW is a Hoax) (View Comment):

    Susan Quinn: This morning on my walk, two seniors passed me—fully masked. It annoys the heck out of me, even though it’s none of my business.

    I assume anybody wearing a mask these days is actually a spy that is worried about lip-readers intercepting their clandestine conversations. Spies…they are everywhere!

    On our recent visit to Texas and the southwest there seemed to be a lot of mask-wearing in northern New Mexico–especially in Gallup.  It hadn’t occurred to me that these people, who appeared to be Indians–probably Navajo–were spies.

    We were required to wear masks at the Space Center in Houston, and at the Negro Leagues Baseball Museum in Kansas City.  Both were crowded enough places that I didn’t think it extremely unreasonable. That was about the extent of my mask-wearing, though not of my wife’s.  I will inform her that I learned on Ricochet that she is a spy.  A couple of places we were not required to wear masks were on a tour of the Hoover Dam, and at the Offshore Drilling Rig Museum in Galveston. 

    • #22
  23. Flicker Coolidge
    Flicker
    @Flicker

    DonG (CAGW is a Hoax) (View Comment):

    Susan Quinn: This morning on my walk, two seniors passed me—fully masked. It annoys the heck out of me, even though it’s none of my business.

    I assume anybody wearing a mask these days is actually a spy that is worried about lip-readers intercepting their clandestine conversations. Spies…they are everywhere!

    You know, this is one conspiracy theory that I can get behind.

    • #23
  24. Flicker Coolidge
    Flicker
    @Flicker

    EHerring (View Comment):

    At the concert last weekend, packed venue, maybe one in ten people, if even that many wore a mask.it was the first concert where masks were optional. Most chose to not wear them. Most who did were elderly so I have no issue with their choice. People can accept choice but not being forced or attacked. Sadly, the maskers have said so many negative things about those who choose not to were a mask that we tend to look at all masked people with suspicion.

    Maybe my bank will get back to, No Masks Allowed.

    • #24
  25. Susan Quinn Contributor
    Susan Quinn
    @SusanQuinn

    Full Size Tabby (View Comment):

    Assuming the masks do help reduce the transmission of viruses, there are still many other factors that have to be evaluated, factors that each person will weigh differently. What is the health risk to me or to others in my proximity presented by the virus(es)? What level of discomfort (if any) is a reasonable tradeoff for reducing the potential reduction of health risk? How much effort am I willing to put forth to wear and handle a mask properly, according to strict medical protocols, to ensure its effectiveness? How much communication or other facial interaction with others am I willing to give up for that potential reduction of health risk? How will that reduced communication and other interaction affect the people with whom I expect to communicate and interact? Does a mask convey to others a message of safety and caring, or does it convey a message that the wearer is afraid, or a message that others should fear the mask wearer (robber or other criminal)? How comfortable am I conveying that message? There are probably other factors. Each person will put different weights on each of the different factors that go into the decision of whether or not to wear a mask in a particular situation. The decision about whether to wear a mask is much more complicated than the binary question of, “Does it reduce virus transmission?”

    This is a very thoughtful and in-depth comment, FST. Too often in life we want simple choices and simple answers. Much of these issues come down to relationships with me: communicating caring for people is almost more important than health. Thank you.

    • #25
  26. Matthew Singer Inactive
    Matthew Singer
    @MatthewSinger

    Stad (View Comment):

    Susan Quinn: And no mask.

    Superspreader!

    Did ANY event the media was apoplectic about being a super spreader event EVER turn out to be one?

     

    • #26
  27. Fake John/Jane Galt Coolidge
    Fake John/Jane Galt
    @FakeJohnJaneGalt

    Matthew Singer (View Comment):

    Stad (View Comment):

    Susan Quinn: And no mask.

    Superspreader!

    Did ANY event the media was apoplectic about being a super spreader event EVER turn out to be one?

     

    Depends on definition of super spreader.

    • #27
  28. Stina Inactive
    Stina
    @CM

    Fake John/Jane Galt (View Comment):

    Matthew Singer (View Comment):

    Stad (View Comment):

    Susan Quinn: And no mask.

    Superspreader!

    Did ANY event the media was apoplectic about being a super spreader event EVER turn out to be one?

     

    Depends on definition of super spreader.

    An event that super spreads the wrong ideas?

    • #28
  29. Saint Augustine Member
    Saint Augustine
    @SaintAugustine

    Stina (View Comment):

    An event that super spreads the wrong ideas?

    That’s called “Facebook.”

    Or maybe it’s called “public schools.”

    Gee, it’s hard to keep these spreader events straight.

    • #29
  30. Annefy Member
    Annefy
    @Annefy

    I was telling JY about this thread last night and he made a funny comment. As preface, we inexplicably know very little about Covid. The difference in outcomes is stunning; I know several people 90 + who walked off Covid. One has been bed ridden and almost non-verbal for several years (he routinely greets his sainted daughter in law with “a**hole!). I personally don’t think it’s a coincidence that they were NOT in the hospital; instead it was assumed they would pass and very little action was taken.

    The two people I know “of” who passed from Covid died in the hospital and were vented and treated with Dr F’s favorite drug.

    I also find it fascinating that countries that are third-world or emerging have done so much better than the US. Why? Vit D? Better immune systems? Less obesity? Because some of the treatments refused to some Americans are taken there as a matter of course? I don’t think we’ll ever know because our health officials don’t want to know.

    Not a doc; not drawing any conclusions.

    Anywho, when I repeated to JY what your doc said, @susanquinn, he replied: the doctor crediting mask wearing for Covid protection makes as much sense as me claiming I never got Covid because I wore my shoes on the wrong feet for two years. 

    In other words, probably just a coincidence when you take into account those who have worn masks aggressively and still got Covid. Who knows whether the elderly woman the doc spoke of would have succumbed to Covid even if she had worn a mask?

    For myself, the benefits of mask wearing (if there are any) don’t come close to the social cost. And the health cost, as well. There’s a woman I follow on Twitter (Ann Bauer) who has been diagnosed with a chronic eye condition due to wearing a mask 8+ hours/day.

    • #30
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