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Cub Intel Reporter from the Near Future Reports…
Sources are telling me that our FBI has information that there might be a Russian agent embedded in the New York Times.
The thinking around Langley is that whoever validated the laptop story did it to undermine Biden’s Ukraine credibility at the behest of Russia.
Both Brennan and Clapper have appeared on MSNBC saying it can’t be explained any other way, and are calling for a DOJ investigation.
“This is a wake-up call showing us their capabilities. The Russians are everywhere, they are sophisticated and have been hacking and meddling in our elections. Now they’ve infiltrated the inner sanctums of our most precious newspapers of record”, said a high-level source close to Clapper.
Meanwhile, a petition signed by over 100 Intelligence pensioners and lobbyists, including intel hall-of-famers Clapper, Comey, Brennan, Vindman, and Strock, have validated the speculation that there’s probably a Russian spy working in a high position in the Times who may have exerted influence on the Times board to agree to validate the laptop theory.
Twitter has placed a warning label on any New York Times tweet regarding Ukraine, Hunter Biden, or Burisma.
The White House has announced that anyone advancing this scurrilous, completely untrue charge is helping Putin, and should be considered a traitor.
Published in General
I am a bit confused. If they were loyal to Russia how would that make them a double agent?
Has Clapper lost his security clearance yet?
I changed it. Double was superfluous and confusing.
Shouldn’t this have a “satire” tag?
Well. It is only fair. Ukraine has the Vindman boys.
Did this source give his name or relationship to Clapper? Sounds fake.
But if this is true this is game-changing. And the time machine confirms my gravest speculations.
Good grief, this is satire. And very good satire at that. Bravo Franco.
I think I may be giving myself the wrong reputation. (But at least the time machine is real, right?)
Added: And I knew it was satire. Cub reporters are never given access to time transport. That only goes to columnists and senior reporters. How do you think Lileks gets all his stuff?
It’s damn hard to tell these days.
Being satire doesn’t mean it’s not true. Remember that the Xiden Crime Family has been purchased by the Ukrainians, Russians and Chinese. It must be hard for Slo-Joe to remember who he’s working for today.
It’s not in the quick definition, but I think satire relies on exaggeration. The trouble is that it’s almost impossible to exaggerate today’s world, because there’s nothing bigger and broader to refer to, nothing more outlandish, than today’s realities.
I mean, today’s headlines, such as
Bloomberg Has Inflation Advice for Proles Making Less Than $300k a Year – Shut Up, Eat Lentils, Ride the Bus and Kill Your Pets
and
Spies who lie: 51 ‘intelligence’ experts refuse to apologize for discrediting true Hunter Biden story
are real. How do you satirize these?
I imagine the Brandon’s own about 10% of Delaware.
That’s an interesting possibility. The way news outfits are so left wing, I would not be surprised if they had been infiltrated over the years. Actually it might be quite probable.
Or at least bought.
News outlets are all infiltrated by our wonderful intel agencies. Look up “Operation Mockingbird”. They claimed success at getting operatives in every major newspaper and television outlet in the USA. That was in the 1970’s.
All you have to do is look who they have on their shows, who and what they support, who they don’t report on, and you will quickly determine that somehow it’s always skewed towards what these agencies want to put out.
That news outfits are “left wing” isn’t really pertinent in this case, since the USA is now more “left” than Russia is.
Not a “double agent,” if it’s simply an agent. It’s been the same with the NYT since Walter Duranty.