Cub Intel Reporter from the Near Future Reports…

 

Sources are telling me that our FBI has information that there might be a Russian agent embedded in the New York Times.

The thinking around Langley is that whoever validated the laptop story did it to undermine Biden’s Ukraine credibility at the behest of Russia.

Both Brennan and Clapper have appeared on MSNBC saying it can’t be explained any other way, and are calling for a DOJ investigation.

“This is a wake-up call showing us their capabilities. The Russians are everywhere, they are sophisticated and have been hacking and meddling in our elections. Now they’ve infiltrated the inner sanctums of our most precious newspapers of record”, said a high-level source close to Clapper.

Meanwhile, a petition signed by over 100 Intelligence pensioners and lobbyists, including intel hall-of-famers Clapper, Comey, Brennan, Vindman, and Strock, have validated the speculation that there’s probably a Russian spy working in a high position in the Times who may have exerted influence on the Times board to agree to validate the laptop theory.

Twitter has placed a warning label on any New York Times tweet regarding Ukraine, Hunter Biden, or Burisma.

The White House has announced that anyone advancing this scurrilous, completely untrue charge is helping Putin, and should be considered a traitor.

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  1. Fake John/Jane Galt Coolidge
    Fake John/Jane Galt
    @FakeJohnJaneGalt

    I am a bit confused.  If they were loyal to Russia how would that make them a double agent?

    • #1
  2. DonG (CAGW is a Hoax) Coolidge
    DonG (CAGW is a Hoax)
    @DonG

    Has Clapper lost his security clearance yet?

    • #2
  3. Franco Member
    Franco
    @Franco

    Fake John/Jane Galt (View Comment):

    I am a bit confused. If they were loyal to Russia how would that make them a double agent?

    I changed it. Double was superfluous and confusing.

    • #3
  4. Django Member
    Django
    @Django

    Shouldn’t this have a “satire” tag? 

    • #4
  5. EHerring Coolidge
    EHerring
    @EHerring

    Well. It is only fair. Ukraine has the Vindman boys. 

    • #5
  6. Flicker Coolidge
    Flicker
    @Flicker

    Franco: said a high-level source close to Clapper.

    Did this source give his name or relationship to Clapper?  Sounds fake.

    But if this is true this is game-changing.  And the time machine confirms my gravest speculations.

    • #6
  7. Underground Conservative Inactive
    Underground Conservative
    @UndergroundConservative

    Good grief, this is satire. And very good satire at that. Bravo Franco. 

    • #7
  8. Flicker Coolidge
    Flicker
    @Flicker

    Underground Conservative (View Comment):

    Good grief, this is satire. And very good satire at that. Bravo Franco.

    I think I may be giving myself the wrong reputation.  (But at least the time machine is real, right?)

    Added:  And I knew it was satire.  Cub reporters are never given access to time transport.  That only goes to columnists and senior reporters.  How do you think Lileks gets all his stuff?

    • #8
  9. Django Member
    Django
    @Django

    Underground Conservative (View Comment):

    Good grief, this is satire. And very good satire at that. Bravo Franco.

    It’s damn hard to tell these days. 

    • #9
  10. Doctor Robert Member
    Doctor Robert
    @DoctorRobert

    Being satire doesn’t mean it’s not true.  Remember that the Xiden Crime Family has been purchased by the Ukrainians, Russians and Chinese.  It must be hard for Slo-Joe to remember who he’s working for today.

    • #10
  11. Flicker Coolidge
    Flicker
    @Flicker

    Doctor Robert (View Comment):

    Being satire doesn’t mean it’s not true. Remember that the Xiden Crime Family has been purchased by the Ukrainians, Russians and Chinese. It must be hard for Slo-Joe to remember who he’s working for today.

    It’s not in the quick definition, but I think satire relies on exaggeration.  The trouble is that it’s almost impossible to exaggerate today’s world, because there’s nothing bigger and broader to refer to, nothing more outlandish, than today’s realities.

    I mean, today’s headlines, such as

    Bloomberg Has Inflation Advice for Proles Making Less Than $300k a Year – Shut Up, Eat Lentils, Ride the Bus and Kill Your Pets

    and

    Spies who lie: 51 ‘intelligence’ experts refuse to apologize for discrediting true Hunter Biden story

    are real.  How do you satirize these?

    • #11
  12. DaveSchmidt Coolidge
    DaveSchmidt
    @DaveSchmidt

    Doctor Robert (View Comment):

    Being satire doesn’t mean it’s not true. Remember that the Xiden Crime Family has been purchased by the Ukrainians, Russians and Chinese. It must be hard for Slo-Joe to remember who he’s working for today.

    I imagine the Brandon’s own about 10% of Delaware.

    • #12
  13. Manny Coolidge
    Manny
    @Manny

    That’s an interesting possibility. The way news outfits are so left wing, I would not be surprised if they had been infiltrated over the years. Actually it might be quite probable. 

    • #13
  14. Fake John/Jane Galt Coolidge
    Fake John/Jane Galt
    @FakeJohnJaneGalt

    Manny (View Comment):

    That’s an interesting possibility. The way news outfits are so left wing, I would not be surprised if they had been infiltrated over the years. Actually it might be quite probable.

    Or at least bought.

    • #14
  15. Franco Member
    Franco
    @Franco

    Manny (View Comment):

    That’s an interesting possibility. The way news outfits are so left wing, I would not be surprised if they had been infiltrated over the years. Actually it might be quite probable.

    News outlets are all infiltrated by our wonderful intel agencies. Look up “Operation Mockingbird”. They claimed success at getting operatives in every major newspaper and television outlet in the USA. That was in the 1970’s.

    All you have to do is look who they have on their shows, who and what they support, who they don’t report on, and you will quickly determine that somehow it’s always skewed towards what these agencies want to put out.

    That news outfits are “left wing” isn’t really pertinent in this case, since the USA is now more “left” than Russia is. 

    • #15
  16. Mackinder Coolidge
    Mackinder
    @Mackinder

    Not a “double agent,” if it’s simply an agent. It’s been the same with the NYT since Walter Duranty.

    • #16
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