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Beer and Loathing in Minocqua
It’s been a while since I’ve written a post in this style because “leftists at craft breweries” is not exactly a shocking new development, and I’m generally able to shrug these things off. When it’s all you see, you sort of get used to it.
That said, @dnewlander brought this one to my attention a couple of days ago, and this one did hit me hard. If I had to guess why, it’s because I actually know this place and therefore it hits closer to home for me. And so like a song that won’t get out of your head, I’m writing a post. If it doesn’t get it out of my head I can at least share the misery.
Take a look at this masterpiece of jackassery:
Before I start, for those of you who aren’t familiar which I expect is most of you, Minocqua is a tourist haven/summer house destination for FIBs* in northern Wisconsin.
Here’s a bit from their website:
Located in Minocqua Wisconsin, MBC started making #progressivebeer after closing our brewpub because Donald Trump played politics with Covid-19 and Mitch McConnell let restaurants twist in the wind.
Yes, because they were the only ones, it was just all the Democrats doing it were doing things you liked, so it wasn’t “politics”.
All right, let’s break it down.
“We’re already annoyed by all the kvetching about gas prices.”
I don’t know how long they’ve been in operation, but I lived in the area for more than half my life and it’s been a pretty constant theme the whole time. Not only that, it’s a big empty area on the map. You’re gonna have to worry about it if you want to get anywhere.
“If you’re gonna regurgitate Fox News and blame your president for making gas prices high, do it with a little flair!”
I’ve watched about half an hour of Fox News over the past couple of years. I don’t need them to tell me that gas prices have gone crazy. I can see it.
“We suggest listening to Mozart. Copy the way he composed variations on a theme instead of playing the same worn-out melody over and over.”
You lead with a Fox News hit and you’re complaining about worn-out themes? Mr. Pot, have you met Mr. Kettle?
“Stop snowmobiling altogether and go cross-country skiing instead.”
Well, the good news is if I’m going to do that I’ve got a lot more options available to me. I might not even have to go to Minocqua.
“Once you’ve given up motorsports, you won’t need a gas-guzzling truck to haul your machines around anymore.
I think this is what really got me. You’re in a place where people drive trucks for actual use and yet you still mock them.
“Get an electric Subaru to carry your skis.”
Not content with being smug jerks, you have to be stereotypical too? Maybe when I have confidence that the battery won’t die in -30 degree weather, then I’ll think about it. Or when there are actually enough people to support a charging station. Or when I’m not worried about the vehicle range allowing me to actually get anywhere.
“If you insist on the truck, take the Trump flag down…it shows the world you’ve got “low mileage” in other “performance” categories as well.j
What was that about “variations on a theme” again?
“After you’ve saved all that money on gas, treat yourself to a relatively inexpensive can of Kamala stout. It’ll get you almost as buzzed as three cans of Bud Light.”
Point 1: If you had been bold enough to tell me that it’s what she has before she has any speaking to do, I’d be convinced of its effectiveness.
Point 2: They got a four-pack at $14.99. I see Bud Light at $19.99 for a 30-rack. Since the Kamala stout is in a pint can, three of them is equal to four 12-oz. Bud Lights. By my reckoning, it looks like I can get slightly over 16 cans of Bud Light for the same price.
Cheers to economizing in the Northwoods this weekend!
Well, you convinced me. I guess I’ll stay home and have a Bud Light or three.
*If you know, you know.
Published in Culture
I find usefulness in the “Fox News” references. It’s an early warning “stop reading now” sign that one is dealing with an un-thinking ideologue. I haven’t watched Fox in a month but I don’t get cheaper gas for it.
I’d say don’t give them ideas but I would also guess it’s something they thought about.
We did a couple of family (on Mrs. Tim’s side) vacations in Door County and loved it. Struck me as somewhat of a “poor man’s Martha’s Vineyard.” Nice people and beautiful scenery. Sorry to hear the populace is commie-lite (assuming Door County is like Minocqua, which I’d bet it is).
I don’t know what “FIBs” means. But I am sure that I don’t like these brewers. Smug idiots. Probably wouldn’t like FIBs either from the sounds of it…
You and all the travel writers. I know they mean well but it still kinda irritates me.
I don’t know. Northern WI in general is one of the places abandoned by Democrats and thus willing to take a chance on Trump, then becoming active supporters. I believe Oneida County where Minocqua is is fairly conservative in general but overall the tourists and summer vacationers tend to have an effect on it.
Pulled this from the “about us” section.
New owners. Now I see what’s up.
I mean, I guess I’d just fight to remain open but I guess he had different ideas.
Like I say, these are not “conservatives” in the traditional sense, but then again, his attitude is why they are now.
So we’re back to the Bud Light now I take it.
I don’t know what that means but I’m don’t think I trust it.
By which I take it he made too many people mad in the local area and has to find customers elsewhere.
Why drive that far for pretentious swill when there is plenty of pretentious swill in Illinois? Some dump in the woods filled with heavily-tattooed, barrel-chested, tobacco-chewing Packer fans? And they’re the bar maids.
From their blog:
Besides this lawsuit, there’s a lot of money being spent in Wisconsin in an effort to defeat Senator Johnson’s bid for reelection this Fall. The mailers we’ve been getting weekly in this effort have been sent by a group calling themselves Wisconsin Progress.
I believe it means “F**ing Illinois Bastards.” As a former Chicago suburbanite, I think I am one.
When I first read this thing in the PIT the other night, I thought it was satire. You can’t even parody these people anymore. Great rejoinders to their idiocy there, Matt.
Yeah.
That’s how far I got before deciding it wasn’t. Satire has an obligation to be funny.
I may be wrong but I get the feeling this is a guy is a transplant who couldn’t find his way out and ended up with a brewery because he had to do something.
The ‘get a Subaru’ bit is the part that had me wondering. If he had gone straight to an Outback as the model of choice it’d be even more difficult.
Contempt for your customers is always a winning business strategy. . .
Look who’s “low mileage” in other “performance” categories now. Idiots.
I can understand blaming Donald Trump for shutting your business down, I can understand voting for Joe Biden and going all in on selling to the hard left. I can’t understand anyone being that excited about Kamala Harris.
To be fair, his description of the Biden beer brings to mind Bud Light, so let’s see what they say about the Kamala beer.
…
“a strong vice presidential stout”.
Well that tells me nothing and everything.
Since this was a duplicate I’ll just say even they can’t find much to say about her.
You know, the way they put names and faces on their beer cans is illegal under Wisconsin law. People have the right of personality, which is effectively a copyright on their names and faces, as long as they’re alive. That covers everyone on his cans with the possible exception of Bernie Sanders.
This isn’t the kind of thing we could sue them over though because we lack standing.
Yeah, I thought it had to be satire too.
Double post.
I find it funny how Trump gets blamed when it was Evers that kept things locked down until the courts got involved.
Note: it was the mask mandate that got struck down by the court as far as I remember.
I seem to recall it being more excessive than that, at least I remember reading an article begging Wisconsinites to take it easy at the bars because of the ‘rona.
I’m sure it was, I just had do deal with those bloody masks for a year at work.
I can’t remember the dates off the top of my head, but it got longer as a company policy. They didn’t relax it until one of the guys threatened legal action.
I’m always surprised by this. So many small brewers are leftist dolts, including, I am sorry to say, my own eldest son. He was crippled by the WuFlu regulations in 2020-2021 and yet thinks his Pacific Northwest governor is the cat’s meow. These are people who work 12 hour days, 8 days a week, for years to get their dreams off the ground. They should all be Reaganites.
I’m not sure why that’s the case, if it’s because a lot of them start out in those areas so it’s the default or what.
Why they don’t seem to want to learn from the experience is more confusing to me.
Kamala Stout. Warning: Makes you burst into spontaneous uncontrollable laughter during extremely awkward moments.
Followed by gibberish.
So… it’s beer?