Ricochet is the best place on the internet to discuss the issues of the day, either through commenting on posts or writing your own for our active and dynamic community in a fully moderated environment. In addition, the Ricochet Audio Network offers over 50 original podcasts with new episodes released every day.
The Big Guy Sends Hunter to Ukraine
I was on the way to my phrenologist for my annual checkup today, singing Sade’s “Smooth Operator” at the top of my lungs, when my phone blew up with news that the Big Guy dispatched Hunter on Air Force Five this morning to mediate the Russia-Ukraine dispute in an attempt to avoid the imminent Russian invasion.
Hunter has long been this country’s preeminent scholar on the history and economy of Ukraine, and is particularly brilliant in his analysis of Ukraine’s fossil fuel industry.
His expertise is in part due to his fluency in Ukranian, which he apparently perfected in extended late-night sessions with a number of crack female Eastern European tutors, some of whom are featured on his laptop and social media.
In typical Hunter fashion, he will be gifting to both Presidents Putin and Zelensky a signed, original, priceless piece of art he’s been working on for over a day and a half.
My sources in the U.S. State Department tell me they are confident that Hunter’s shuttle diplomacy will result in an equitable, peaceful settlement and that Hunter has agreed to cut his normal fee for this diplomatic miracle so that he only gets 1% of the Nordstream 2 daily production as soon as the Big Guy gives the go ahead to get the oil flowing.
Kudos to the Big Guy for again recognizing the benefits of public/private cooperative ventures.
Published in Humor
I would leave a “Reply,” but I think you’ve said it all, Michael.
As long as it’s a one-way ticket, I’m fine.
I . . . uh, . . . this is satire, right? In the current era, it’s really hard to know anymore.
The weird thing is that Hunter might be more effective than Blinken or Kerry. Hookers and blow instead of pomposity and spinelessness. So crazy it just might…
Where the white women at?
What about Klingon dumplings?
I really think Yosh and Stan Shmenge could have carried the day.
It would appear that sending Hunter would have been a better choice than the one he actually made, sending Kamala. At least Hunter has been there before, been anywhere before. Kamala is yet to visit our own southern border. This morning the news is reporting that Kamala is sounding a bit like Saddam before the second Gulf War, threatening dire consequences if Putin does his thing. Gimme a break!
As long as the ‘Big Guy’ gets his cut
There’s a deep truth here. This schmendrick, this yutz was broken by his wicked father’s corrupt family business. Hunter Biden is a walking piece of filth, and his father made him that way. I see pain and coping, and a moral collapse with attendant desire-driven, pleasure-seeking, abusive addict-family horror.
I’m not letting him off the hook. I just think I see how the hook got in him. What a pitiful creature. I just hope there’s some Gollum at Mount Doom about him.
Schmendrick and yutz–priceless words. Thanks.
Or . . . I can handle things… I’m smart! Not like everybody says! Like, dumb! I’m smart… and I want respect!
Uh . . . rejecting the opportunity for salvation and throwing himself in the lake of fire? Is that what you mean?
I mean somehow being instrumental in destroying a greater evil, without even willing it, entirely as a result of his own faults, when the good can no longer be counted upon.
… how bout dem apples?
Why can’t you leave the children alone?
Funny that the same crowd that sneered at ‘Caribou Barbi’ isn’t chortling at the trailer park Biden saga. Actually, if it weren’t for the Big Guy’s connections, they would likely be booted from most trailer parks.
And remember when we were not supposed to vote for Trump because the Russians had proof of all the stuff in the
SteeleHillary Dossier and could blackmail him? But Biden’s shady Ukrainian involvements can’t possibly be a problem….“He’s such a fine young boy. And he’s had it so hard, you know. Poor baby. I’m so proud of him. And he always gave me my cut.”
This page does not exist either. Hm.
Yet another in a long list of two-faced crap from politicians and media. Yeah, I think we all know who you want in the White House. We don’t need a map.
Considering the significant lack of loud voices on the political right about that, too, it’s just confirmation that they’re all in the machine together, and not doing it for us. They’re just doing it for themselves.
Biden might be one of the most compromised candidates in recent history, given the liabilities of his son. The conflict of interest here is staggering. But hey, not only has covering it publicly been successfully avoided, it’s derided as conspiracy crap.
I mean, . . . I’m okay with him throwing himself in a lake of fire, too.
And Hunter was just doing the (literal) family business. It’s Joe Biden all the way down.