Oversensitivity to Wokeness?

 

When we got into my husband’s car this morning, a cute but older Nissan, the battery groaned in pain. It’s been very cold for Florida (mornings in the 40s) and we don’t drive his car very much. After a couple of tries, the battery finally kicked in and the car started and we were off to do grocery shopping.

After finishing our shopping, it didn’t occur to us that we hadn’t run the battery enough. This time it didn’t moan; it just coughed and died. We sat there quietly for a moment, and then my husband got out of the car resignedly and looked under the hood. At that moment, a couple in a large white truck pulled in the space directly opposite ours, and when they exited their car—a young woman and a smiling, robust young man—my husband approached and asked if the fellow could give him a jump. The man agreed with a smile, and my husband pulled out his jumper cable. I saw him speak to the man, who frowned slightly, then smiled and they got the battery going. Meanwhile, they exchanged a few friendly words before Jerry got into the car and the young man went to join his wife in Publix.

It wasn’t until an hour later that Jerry told me that he’d almost made a faux pas! When he handed the jumper cable to the young man, he said, “black is negative.” (Jerry loves to speak in shorthand.) Well, you may have guessed, the young man was black. He may have hesitated for a couple of reasons: was Jerry referring to the color of his skin? Was he surprised that Jerry felt the need to tell him which charger was which? Or was it something else?

We’ll never know.

There were a few points we gleaned from the situation. First, we have become hypersensitive about our use of language. Even though we say we’re not going to worry about offending anyone, it would have been an ill-timed insult. Second, was the man wondering what Jerry meant? There was a time when we wouldn’t have given the situation a second thought.

But I miss the time when we, as decent, polite people didn’t worry about parsing our words at the risk of not just hurting feelings, but possibly triggering a negative reaction. What has happened to the time when we gave people the benefit of the doubt? Why can’t we just appreciate the young man’s generosity and help, and not give the incident a second thought?

I don’t like where we have arrived.

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  1. Stina Inactive
    Stina
    @CM

    Chris O (View Comment):

    The (high-reputation, private) school where I “guest teach” is possibly an example of what you’re saying, Susan. Some students arrive 30 minutes late every day, rarely arrive on time to their other classes, and homework isn’t done if they don’t feel like doing it.

    Nothing is said, and it is difficult to know what to say. For example, a student arrived late to school last week and was talking and messing around in class shortly after. I asked him about his assignment and he said he was done. He arrived ten minutes before and the assignment required viewing a 30-minute video. Do I call him on it? I knew the regular teacher would go easy. It is difficult not to feel the pressure of being branded with the worst labels.

    That is because this culture of permissiveness initially manifested itself and took hold within a particular demographic. It was not representative of any particular group in its entirety, but visible enough that it started to affect more and more students throughout the high school level population. There are always slackers, but this is something different.

    There are many preparatory education options in the local market, and all this undermines a reputation based on decades of presence within the community. It is an existential issue for the school, but worse is the damage done to the student and their “preparatory” development of self-management and other skills.

    Everyone loses in the end. The school doesn’t fulfill its mission and the student moves on, unprepared for the next step.

    I would really like to know where the poison that being educated or smart means you are “acting white” got started.

    I was watching Turn on AMC years ago and they had it in there, too. A slave girl is trying to learn to read and is hiding a Bible under her pillow. When another slave finds out, he accuses her of thinking she’s better than the other slaves and for thinking she’s one of “them”. Why else would a black slave learn to read? Amirite???

    I don’t know if Turn was being accurate to the 18th century or anachronistically putting our modern attitudes in, but this didn’t start then, did it???

    Protect the ones dedicated to educational excellence and get them paired up in mentorships with educated black men and women. See if we can change that part a little at a time by saving these ones.

    • #31
  2. Chris O Coolidge
    Chris O
    @ChrisO

    Stina (View Comment):
    I would really like to know where the poison that being educated or smart means you are “acting white” got started.

    No idea, but it’s a pretty simple response many or all of us have when confronted with something that makes us insecure: we reject the thing, pillory it, and then try and validate the action by getting others to do it. If they don’t, then they also must be ridiculed.

    I’m picturing the hunter-gatherer campfire: “That new spear won’t fly, Zog, you’re going to get yourself killed!”

    • #32
  3. Fake John/Jane Galt Coolidge
    Fake John/Jane Galt
    @FakeJohnJaneGalt

    Chris O (View Comment):

    Stina (View Comment):
    I would really like to know where the poison that being educated or smart means you are “acting white” got started.

    No idea, but it’s a pretty simple response many or all of us have when confronted with something that makes us insecure: we reject the thing, pillory it, and then try and validate the action by getting others to do it. If they don’t, then they also must be ridiculed.

    I’m picturing the hunter-gatherer campfire: “That new spear won’t fly, Zog, you’re going to get yourself killed!”

    It’s crab bucket stuff.  You see it around most poor people.  Shear envy and jealousy.  Drag anybody trying to better themselves down.  Tear up or steal nice stuff that is not yours.  Been around it most my life.  Stupid idiots revel in their stupidity and destroy anybody trying to better themselves.  It is not just a black thing.  One of the things I hate about the racism charge is that it is so wrong.  It is a poor small minded perspective on life that has little to do with race and a lot to do with culture.  

    • #33
  4. Susan Quinn Contributor
    Susan Quinn
    @SusanQuinn

    Stina (View Comment):
    I don’t know if Turn was being accurate to the 18th century or anachronistically putting our modern attitudes in, but this didn’t start then, did it???

    That was my reaction–putting in modern attitudes. I’ve read how slaves would hunger to learn to read, and I never heard that anyone rejected the opportunity. Nonsense!

    • #34
  5. kedavis Coolidge
    kedavis
    @kedavis

    Susan Quinn (View Comment):

    Stina (View Comment):
    I don’t know if Turn was being accurate to the 18th century or anachronistically putting our modern attitudes in, but this didn’t start then, did it???

    That was my reaction–putting in modern attitudes. I’ve read how slaves would hunger to learn to read, and I never heard that anyone rejected the opportunity. Nonsense!

    Yeah, it sounds like more of the retcon black history such as that blacks in Egypt had wings and could fly, until evil Europeans came and killed them all.

    • #35
  6. DaveSchmidt Coolidge
    DaveSchmidt
    @DaveSchmidt

    Mad Gerald (View Comment):

    Vance Richards (View Comment):

    Would “Red is positive” worked better?

    Anyway, considering the people I know in their 20’s and 30’s, I would not just assume that they know how jumper cables work.

    Me too. My millennial nephew called his father from college and asked how to use jumper cables.

    Of course, the smart phone short cut on the road to knowledge, skills, and wisdom.

     

     

    • #36
  7. Stina Inactive
    Stina
    @CM

    kedavis (View Comment):

    Susan Quinn (View Comment):

    Stina (View Comment):
    I don’t know if Turn was being accurate to the 18th century or anachronistically putting our modern attitudes in, but this didn’t start then, did it???

    That was my reaction–putting in modern attitudes. I’ve read how slaves would hunger to learn to read, and I never heard that anyone rejected the opportunity. Nonsense!

    Yeah, it sounds like more of the retcon black history such as that blacks in Egypt had wings and could fly, until evil Europeans came and killed them all.

    There WAS an animosity between house slaves and field slaves. That isn’t a revision. And some attitudes to pass down generationally even as their circumstances change.

    All I know is that blacks and whites handle their intelligent members differently. Blacks accuse them of being traitors to their family group and whites call them weird. There’s a categorical difference there. My being a nerd is not denying my heritage and family group. But “acting white” is. It discourages on multiple levels the desire to elevate oneself.

    Regardless of when it started, I’ve seen it in action and it is serious.

    • #37
  8. David Carroll Thatcher
    David Carroll
    @DavidCarroll

    Sometimes black is simply the absence of color.

    • #38
  9. EHerring Coolidge
    EHerring
    @EHerring

    kedavis (View Comment):

    Yes, actually it’s been quite a while since I’ve owned a vehicle, due to my disability income budget. And so some things fade from memory. But especially for quick jump-start rather than letting the other vehicle’s battery charge for a while to try and start on its own, there’s a procedure involving which to connect first, and as I recall on the dead-battery vehicle the ideal is to connect the negative cable to somewhere on the engine itself, rather than just battery-to-battery. And then if you remove that cable end first, you have much less risk of – for example – creating a spark that triggers an explosion of hydrogen outgassed from the battery.

    The instructions are in my owner’s manual. I jump cars so rarely that I copied the two pages, glued them back to back, then laminated them. Now I have a nice little card to toss in the bag with the cables. These new cars that constantly cut off and back on when you idle need more powerful, expensive batteries.

    • #39
  10. EHerring Coolidge
    EHerring
    @EHerring

    Henry Racette (View Comment):

    Flicker (View Comment):

    Henry Racette (View Comment):

    That’s actually a funny story. ;)

    When I was younger I was sometimes self-conscious about ordering my coffee “black” when speaking to a black waitress, and would simply omit the adjective and let her bring the redundant cream and sugar. I’m so past hyper-sensitivity now — so tired of the ginned-up offenses — that I wouldn’t care anymore.

    Caryn Elaine “Whoopi Goldberg” Johnson once made a distinction between what Roman Polanski did and what she called “rape rape.” While I think she was mistaken in that particular instance — Polanski is, in my opinion, a plain old rapist — I understand what she was trying to express.

    I think I am going to start using the term “racism racism” when discussing racism in America.

    Yes, there is racism in America. But there really isn’t any racism racism — not, anyway, enough to worry about.

    I never had a problem answering the waitress, singing “I like cream in my coffee, uh-huh, uh-huh.”

    Sure. But I like my coffee like I like my humor: black, and at someone else’s expense.

    Reminds me of the line in Airplane.

    • #40
  11. DaveSchmidt Coolidge
    DaveSchmidt
    @DaveSchmidt

    EHerring (View Comment):

    kedavis (View Comment):

    Yes, actually it’s been quite a while since I’ve owned a vehicle, due to my disability income budget. And so some things fade from memory. But especially for quick jump-start rather than letting the other vehicle’s battery charge for a while to try and start on its own, there’s a procedure involving which to connect first, and as I recall on the dead-battery vehicle the ideal is to connect the negative cable to somewhere on the engine itself, rather than just battery-to-battery. And then if you remove that cable end first, you have much less risk of – for example – creating a spark that triggers an explosion of hydrogen outgassed from the battery.

    The instructions are in my owner’s manual. I jump cars so rarely that I copied the two pages, glued them back to back, then laminated them. Now I have a nice little card to toss in the bag with the cables. These new cars that constantly cut off and back on when you idle need more powerful, expensive batteries.

    The manufacturers could easily put a label on the underside of the hood with instructions and an illustration.  Better contact Mayor Pete with the suggestion so he can tout at least one accomplishment as Secretary of Transportation. 

    • #41
  12. EHerring Coolidge
    EHerring
    @EHerring

    DaveSchmidt (View Comment):

    EHerring (View Comment):

    kedavis (View Comment):

    Yes, actually it’s been quite a while since I’ve owned a vehicle, due to my disability income budget. And so some things fade from memory. But especially for quick jump-start rather than letting the other vehicle’s battery charge for a while to try and start on its own, there’s a procedure involving which to connect first, and as I recall on the dead-battery vehicle the ideal is to connect the negative cable to somewhere on the engine itself, rather than just battery-to-battery. And then if you remove that cable end first, you have much less risk of – for example – creating a spark that triggers an explosion of hydrogen outgassed from the battery.

    The instructions are in my owner’s manual. I jump cars so rarely that I copied the two pages, glued them back to back, then laminated them. Now I have a nice little card to toss in the bag with the cables. These new cars that constantly cut off and back on when you idle need more powerful, expensive batteries.

    The manufacturers could easily  put a label on the underside of the hood with instructions and an illustration. Better contact Mayor Pete with the suggestion so he can tout at least one accomplishment as Secretary of Transportation.

    If the government gets involved, my laminated card will turn into a laminated sheet.

    • #42
  13. kedavis Coolidge
    kedavis
    @kedavis

    EHerring (View Comment):

    Henry Racette (View Comment):

    Flicker (View Comment):

    Henry Racette (View Comment):

    That’s actually a funny story. ;)

    When I was younger I was sometimes self-conscious about ordering my coffee “black” when speaking to a black waitress, and would simply omit the adjective and let her bring the redundant cream and sugar. I’m so past hyper-sensitivity now — so tired of the ginned-up offenses — that I wouldn’t care anymore.

    Caryn Elaine “Whoopi Goldberg” Johnson once made a distinction between what Roman Polanski did and what she called “rape rape.” While I think she was mistaken in that particular instance — Polanski is, in my opinion, a plain old rapist — I understand what she was trying to express.

    I think I am going to start using the term “racism racism” when discussing racism in America.

    Yes, there is racism in America. But there really isn’t any racism racism — not, anyway, enough to worry about.

    I never had a problem answering the waitress, singing “I like cream in my coffee, uh-huh, uh-huh.”

    Sure. But I like my coffee like I like my humor: black, and at someone else’s expense.

    Reminds me of the line in Airplane.

    I thought of posting a meme or video clip, but this is a family web site.

    • #43
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