Study: Plexiglass Barriers Successful at Trapping Virus Near Heads of Workers

 

A peer-reviewed study has concluded that the plexiglass barriers surrounding customer-facing retail workers successfully traps the COVID virus on, around and near their heads. The’s study’s summary report states “No doubt about it – the virus really gets up in your grill when there’s no proper airflow.”

According to the report, by encouraging the air surrounding employees to “you know, hang around,” the plastic barriers contribute an ideal transmission environment for the deadly COVID virus.

The study’s conclusion even went so far as to say that by removing the barriers to encourage better airflow, restaurants might then be able to safely seat more customers inside their doors during the winter months instead of “forcing them to live like animals by having dinner on a Chicago sidewalk. In February.”

At press time, President Biden had called on OSHA to require plexiglass barriers at all firms with over 100 employees.

Published in Humor
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There are 13 comments.

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  1. Steven Seward Member
    Steven Seward
    @StevenSeward

    ‘It’s all about the science.”

    • #1
  2. Jimmy Carter Member
    Jimmy Carter
    @JimmyCarter

    When all this is over We should take all the plexiglass and duct tape it together to replace the melting ice cap up north for the polar bears. Call it, oh, I don’t know….  Plexiglassica. 

    • #2
  3. CarolJoy, Not So Easy To Kill Coolidge
    CarolJoy, Not So Easy To Kill
    @CarolJoy

    I like the plexiglass barrier idea.

    It just is being applied to the wrong people in the wrong way.

    What would be wrong with requiring the President, VP, their staff, all Pfeizer  employees, and all Congress critters to strap over their heads  a triple plexiglass structure covering their mouths and noses?

    Sure it might mean that they occasionally faint, but as we are seeing with the vaccine after effects, there is really no problem with fainting. Even if you are a pilot of a jet liner.

    And in the case of lowering brain function in  the selected fields of people detailed above, I am not sure their brains can function at any lowered rates.

     

    • #3
  4. Rick N. Coolidge
    Rick N.
    @RickyCVN76

    These theatrics will not go away as long as it gives people the feeling that they are doing something to help. It’s as performative and meaningless as driving an electric car to save the planet, or removing your shoes in airport security in order to defeat terrorists. These things make people in certain areas feel like they are helping, even though it’s counterproductive and pointless. But as we’ve seen for countless years all that matters is what someone feels, not what actually works. 

    • #4
  5. MiMac Thatcher
    MiMac
    @MiMac

    Any citations?

    • #5
  6. CarolJoy, Not So Easy To Kill Coolidge
    CarolJoy, Not So Easy To Kill
    @CarolJoy

    MiMac (View Comment):

    Any citations?

    I think David Deeble is once again enlightening us via satire. (Not that someone won’t be publishing a review of how  further masking up of a society only impede the citizenry’s health. Not that such a report is needed – an individual only needs to look to data out of  Sweden.)

    • #6
  7. Barfly Member
    Barfly
    @Barfly

    MiMac (View Comment):

    Any citations?

    Not yet, but if you’ll please go ahead and retweet this column, then I’ll be able to find one for you.

    There might be one, I heard somebody did this polar bear study …

    • #7
  8. Blondie Thatcher
    Blondie
    @Blondie

    MiMac (View Comment):

    Any citations?

    David Deeble:

     

    Published in Humor

    Hello?

    • #8
  9. Stad Coolidge
    Stad
    @Stad

    CarolJoy, Not So Easy To Kill (View Comment):
    What would be wrong with requiring the President, VP, their staff, all Pfeizer  employees, and all Congress critters to strap over their heads  a triple plexiglass structure covering their mouths and noses?

    I like your thinking . . .

    • #9
  10. TheRightNurse Member
    TheRightNurse
    @TheRightNurse

    David Deeble: The’s study’s summary report states “No doubt about it – the virus really gets up in your grill when there’s no proper airflow.” 

    That made me laugh so, so hard.

    Up in your grill.  HA!

    • #10
  11. Patrick McClure Coolidge
    Patrick McClure
    @Patrickb63

    MiMac (View Comment):

    Any citations?

    Unclench your sphincter and read this again.

    • #11
  12. Percival Thatcher
    Percival
    @Percival

    Patrick McClure (View Comment):

    MiMac (View Comment):

    Any citations?

    Unclench your sphincter and read this again.

    Guys, it is established scientific fact that plexiglass repels virii. The WHO says so.

    Follow the science, you guys!

    • #12
  13. Full Size Tabby Member
    Full Size Tabby
    @FullSizeTabby

    I see the “humor” label, but the described effect wouldn’t surprise me. During my career I’ve worked in several office buildings in which walls were added or moved but the HVAC vents and returns were not changed, resulting in some quite messed up airflows. Particularly some stuffy offices that ended up without a vent bringing in air. 

    • #13
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