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San Francisco Cracks Down On Maskless Shoplifting
In an effort to follow through on her promised transition from defunding to refunding the police, San Francisco Mayor London Breed announced that the city would take a zero-tolerance approach to maskless shoplifting, promising stiffer sentences for those who fail to properly mask up when relieving stores of hundreds of dollars in merchandise the proceeds from which are then fenced and laundered before you’re back from lunch.
“Additionally,” added the mayor, “proper masking makes it more difficult for us to identify you, if you know what I mean,” winking a press cameras.
The mayor also warned prospective maskless shoplifters that social distancing guidelines must also be adhered to, warning that failure to “keep distance” may result in a limit on the number of shoplifters permitted to gather at one place.
At press time time, Mayor Breed has turned herself in after vowing to track down those responsible for the city’s spike in crime.
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I hope she’s also going to crack down on maskless bank robberies, maskless murders, and maskless burglaries . . .
So now there’ll be an upsurge in masks being shoplifted.
OMG!! Maskless! How dare they!
Developing a more civic minded thief, how clever
And maskless carjackings, especially when it’s a Congressperson’s car!
I was thinking, Babylon Bee?, good one!
I find it odd how forceful the government is about masking. Not long ago it was illegal for an adult to wear a mask in public outside a few exceptions, now it illegal not to.
This is make believe. right?
Isn’t everything? It is all just your truth and your reality.
To take care of some family business a few months ago we had to make several visits to a particular branch of my wife’s parents’ bank near Sacramento, California. I always chuckled at the conflicting signs on the entrance door – the long-present permanent sign, “Remove hats, sunglasses, and other items that obscure your face” and the handwritten sign, “Masks covering your nose and mouth required. “
One of my little things is I am constantly asking people with masks to repeat themselves. Tell them I have a hearing disability that makes it hard to hear people that muffle their voice (true) I want it to be painful for them, get them to yell at somebody with a hearing disability.
I do this every so often too.
These days, satire becomes truth.