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San Francisco City Council Wants a Name Change
In an announcement today, the San Francisco City Council is asking the San Francisco Giants to rename their ballpark. Klepto Park is the proposed name change to honor the hardworking shoplifters in San Francisco.
Walgreen Park was suggested, but Walgreens’ future in San Francisco seems to be disappearing, as stores are closing due to theft losses. Safeway Park was in the running, but Safeway has cut back on its hours due to theft in San Francisco. This drew some criticism from council members. Council critics felt that limiting the hours for shoplifters that like to sleep late placed them at a looting disadvantage.
The city council also requested that after each stolen base, a special fireworks display be provided by the Giants, and the most prolific shoplifter in the city receive a lifetime pass to all Giants games.
It was suggested that during the offseason, the field could provide a temporary campground for the homeless.
Published in Sports
See. I thought they wanted to change the City Name to something Indian
Reverend Jim Jones Park
The name of the city itself nust change. “San Francisco” hearkens back to the Spanish Empire and Christianity. Can’t have that; not at all. It should be something more in line with the ambience of the modern day City by the Bay.
Dookieville!
I would suggest Mookville.
A post worthy of David Deeble.
Yes, that’s a compliment.
That’s Oakland.
I was tempted to shoplift a beer last time I went to a Giants game, but that would have put me over the $950 limit.
So Oakland can annex them.
As a short person, I am triggered by the name of the San Francisco Giants. I suggest that they be renamed the Dwarves, Midgets, or Little Tiny Fellows. Or even better, the Nonbinary Intersectional Oppressed Beings. Go NIOBs!
I would submit that Trojan Park would be a fitting name for Sodom by the Sea.
Milkville.
People’s Temple Park
Or
Pelosi Park
New team name: the Grifters.
Congratulations for hitting the daily double – Hilarious and depressing, all at the same time.
What does “crap on the street” translate to in Spanish?
Thanks for the good laughs! Excellent satire. You should submit this post to the Babylon Bee.
How about Kool Aid Park?
Mierda en la calle
I would suggest Mudville… Its a poetic baseball reference and there is no joy in Mudville.
Pooville
And parents with young children can tell them it refers to Winnie The.
Those people at Kool-Aid must have pulled their hair out when the phrase “drink the Kool-Aid” was coined. But I have it on good authority that the notorious communist, and cheapskate, Jim Jones gave them poisoned Flavor-Aid, the Hydrox of soft drink mixes.
Yep
Merdestrasse rolls off the tongue.
But in Spanish Calle de Culo
Thanks for the correction. I couldn’t remember the alt brand.
I just felt bad for the fine folks at Kool Aid…
Why not go full San Fran – call it Lenin Park