San Francisco City Council Wants a Name Change

 

See the source image In an announcement today, the San Francisco City Council is asking the San Francisco Giants to rename their ballpark. Klepto Park is the proposed name change to honor the hardworking shoplifters in San Francisco.

Walgreen Park was suggested, but Walgreens’ future in San Francisco seems to be disappearing, as stores are closing due to theft losses. Safeway Park was in the running, but Safeway has cut back on its hours due to theft in San Francisco. This drew some criticism from council members. Council critics felt that limiting the hours for shoplifters that like to sleep late placed them at a looting disadvantage.

The city council also requested that after each stolen base, a special fireworks display be provided by the Giants, and the most prolific shoplifter in the city receive a lifetime pass to all Giants games.

It was suggested that during the offseason, the field could provide a temporary campground for the homeless.

Published in Sports
Tags:
34 likes
Ricochet editors have scheduled this post to be promoted to the Main Feed at 6:55AM (PT) on November 18th, 2021.

There are 27 comments.

Become a member to join the conversation. Or sign in if you're already a member.
  1. Bryan G. Stephens Thatcher
    Bryan G. Stephens
    @BryanGStephens

    See. I thought they wanted to change the City Name to something Indian

    • #1
  2. Dotorimuk Coolidge
    Dotorimuk
    @Dotorimuk

    Reverend Jim Jones Park

    • #2
  3. Percival Thatcher
    Percival
    @Percival

    The name of the city itself nust change. “San Francisco” hearkens back to the Spanish Empire and Christianity. Can’t have that; not at all. It should be something more in line with the ambience of the modern day City by the Bay.

    Dookieville!

    • #3
  4. Doug Watt Moderator
    Doug Watt
    @DougWatt

    Percival (View Comment):

    The name of the city itself nust change. “San Francisco” hearkens back to the Spanish Empire and Christianity. Can’t have that; not at all. It should be something more in line with the ambience of the modern day City by the Bay.

    Dookieville!

    I would suggest Mookville.

    • #4
  5. kedavis Member
    kedavis
    @kedavis

    A post worthy of David Deeble.

    Yes, that’s a compliment.

    • #5
  6. Percival Thatcher
    Percival
    @Percival

    Doug Watt (View Comment):

    Percival (View Comment):

    The name of the city itself nust change. “San Francisco” hearkens back to the Spanish Empire and Christianity. Can’t have that; not at all. It should be something more in line with the ambience of the modern day City by the Bay.

    Dookieville!

    I would suggest Mookville.

    That’s Oakland.

    • #6
  7. Ray Gunner Coolidge
    Ray Gunner
    @RayGunner

    I was tempted to shoplift a beer last time I went to a Giants game, but that would have put me over the $950 limit. 

    • #7
  8. Sisyphus Member
    Sisyphus
    @Sisyphus

    Percival (View Comment):

    Doug Watt (View Comment):

    Percival (View Comment):

    The name of the city itself nust change. “San Francisco” hearkens back to the Spanish Empire and Christianity. Can’t have that; not at all. It should be something more in line with the ambience of the modern day City by the Bay.

    Dookieville!

    I would suggest Mookville.

    That’s Oakland.

    So Oakland can annex them.

    • #8
  9. KevinKrisher Coolidge
    KevinKrisher
    @KevinKrisher

    As a short person, I am triggered by the name of the San Francisco Giants. I suggest that they be renamed the Dwarves, Midgets, or Little Tiny Fellows. Or even better, the Nonbinary Intersectional Oppressed Beings. Go NIOBs!

    • #9
  10. David B. Sable Coolidge
    David B. Sable
    @DavidSable

    I would submit that Trojan Park would be a fitting name for Sodom by the Sea.

    • #10
  11. Stad Coolidge
    Stad
    @Stad

    Doug Watt (View Comment):

    Percival (View Comment):

    The name of the city itself nust change. “San Francisco” hearkens back to the Spanish Empire and Christianity. Can’t have that; not at all. It should be something more in line with the ambience of the modern day City by the Bay.

    Dookieville!

    I would suggest Mookville.

    Milkville.

    • #11
  12. DaveSchmidt Coolidge
    DaveSchmidt
    @DaveSchmidt

    Dotorimuk (View Comment):

    Reverend Jim Jones Park

    People’s Temple Park

    • #12
  13. DaveSchmidt Coolidge
    DaveSchmidt
    @DaveSchmidt

    Or 

    Pelosi Park 

    New team name: the Grifters. 

    • #13
  14. jonb60173 Member
    jonb60173
    @jonb60173

    Congratulations for hitting the daily double – Hilarious and depressing, all at the same time.

    • #14
  15. Right Wing Teamster Lawyer Thatcher
    Right Wing Teamster Lawyer
    @RightWingTeamsterLawyer

    Percival (View Comment):

    The name of the city itself nust change. “San Francisco” hearkens back to the Spanish Empire and Christianity. Can’t have that; not at all. It should be something more in line with the ambience of the modern day City by the Bay.

    Dookieville!

    What does “crap on the street” translate to in Spanish?

    • #15
  16. cdor Member
    cdor
    @cdor

    Thanks for the good laughs! Excellent satire. You should submit this post to the Babylon Bee.

    • #16
  17. Nanocelt TheContrarian Member
    Nanocelt TheContrarian
    @NanoceltTheContrarian

    DaveSchmidt (View Comment):

    Dotorimuk (View Comment):

    Reverend Jim Jones Park

    People’s Temple Park

    How about Kool Aid Park?

    • #17
  18. Nanocelt TheContrarian Member
    Nanocelt TheContrarian
    @NanoceltTheContrarian

    Right Wing Teamster Lawyer (View Comment):

    Percival (View Comment):

    The name of the city itself nust change. “San Francisco” hearkens back to the Spanish Empire and Christianity. Can’t have that; not at all. It should be something more in line with the ambience of the modern day City by the Bay.

    Dookieville!

    What does “crap on the street” translate to in Spanish?

    Mierda en la calle

    • #18
  19. OccupantCDN Coolidge
    OccupantCDN
    @OccupantCDN

    I would suggest Mudville… Its a poetic baseball reference and there is no joy in Mudville.

    • #19
  20. Sisyphus Member
    Sisyphus
    @Sisyphus

    Pooville

    • #20
  21. kedavis Member
    kedavis
    @kedavis

    Sisyphus (View Comment):

    Pooville

    And parents with young children can tell them it refers to Winnie The.

    • #21
  22. Dotorimuk Coolidge
    Dotorimuk
    @Dotorimuk

    Nanocelt TheContrarian (View Comment):

    DaveSchmidt (View Comment):

    Dotorimuk (View Comment):

    Reverend Jim Jones Park

    People’s Temple Park

    How about Kool Aid Park?

    Those people at Kool-Aid must have pulled their hair out when the phrase “drink the Kool-Aid” was coined. But I have it on good authority that the notorious communist, and cheapskate, Jim Jones gave them poisoned Flavor-Aid, the Hydrox of soft drink mixes.

    • #22
  23. Bryan G. Stephens Thatcher
    Bryan G. Stephens
    @BryanGStephens

    Dotorimuk (View Comment):

    Nanocelt TheContrarian (View Comment):

    DaveSchmidt (View Comment):

    Dotorimuk (View Comment):

    Reverend Jim Jones Park

    People’s Temple Park

    How about Kool Aid Park?

    Those people at Kool-Aid must have pulled their hair out when the phrase “drink the Kool-Aid” was coined. But I have it on good authority that the notorious communist, and cheapskate, Jim Jones gave them poisoned Flavor-Aid, the Hydrox of soft drink mixes.

    Yep

    • #23
  24. Flicker Coolidge
    Flicker
    @Flicker

    Right Wing Teamster Lawyer (View Comment):

    Percival (View Comment):

    The name of the city itself nust change. “San Francisco” hearkens back to the Spanish Empire and Christianity. Can’t have that; not at all. It should be something more in line with the ambience of the modern day City by the Bay.

    Dookieville!

    What does “crap on the street” translate to in Spanish?

    Merdestrasse rolls off the tongue.

    But in Spanish Calle de Culo 

    • #24
  25. DaveSchmidt Coolidge
    DaveSchmidt
    @DaveSchmidt

    Dotorimuk (View Comment):

    Nanocelt TheContrarian (View Comment):

    DaveSchmidt (View Comment):

    Dotorimuk (View Comment):

    Reverend Jim Jones Park

    People’s Temple Park

    How about Kool Aid Park?

    Those people at Kool-Aid must have pulled their hair out when the phrase “drink the Kool-Aid” was coined. But I have it on good authority that the notorious communist, and cheapskate, Jim Jones gave them poisoned Flavor-Aid, the Hydrox of soft drink mixes.

    Thanks for the correction.  I couldn’t remember the alt brand. 

    • #25
  26. Dotorimuk Coolidge
    Dotorimuk
    @Dotorimuk

    DaveSchmidt (View Comment):

    Dotorimuk (View Comment):

    Nanocelt TheContrarian (View Comment):

    DaveSchmidt (View Comment):

    Dotorimuk (View Comment):

    Reverend Jim Jones Park

    People’s Temple Park

    How about Kool Aid Park?

    Those people at Kool-Aid must have pulled their hair out when the phrase “drink the Kool-Aid” was coined. But I have it on good authority that the notorious communist, and cheapskate, Jim Jones gave them poisoned Flavor-Aid, the Hydrox of soft drink mixes.

    Thanks for the correction. I couldn’t remember the alt brand.

    I just felt bad for the fine folks at Kool Aid…

    • #26
  27. GlennAmurgis Coolidge
    GlennAmurgis
    @GlennAmurgis

    Why not go full San Fran – call it Lenin Park

    • #27