A Return to “Normal” Life—or Not

 

As I try to return to a life that somewhat resembles “normal,” I’m finding I’m not so eager to take all the recovery steps after all. Like many people, I resent any more limitations on my freedom, yet I have been the obedient citizen and have gotten my three Pfizer shots (without any adverse reactions). My most recent decision has to do with returning to one of my most important commitments: hospice volunteer.

This past June I consulted with my internist about returning to volunteering. I had pretty much gotten my strength back, and I’d returned to my daily routines. But in June, the Delta virus was escalating, and he insisted I wait until the numbers came down. (He was so adamant that I didn’t even question him.)

So now we are in November, the infection numbers have gone down, so I contacted the doctor’s office again. His colleague said I could go back, but to be persistent about wearing a mask (which hospice insists we wear due to COVID-19), and of course, we wash our hands regularly. I decided I should also check with my oncologist, since some chemo regimens suppress the immune system for several months.

I figured I would request doing respite care, which is simply going in to give the caregiver a break for errands or other important activities. They really appreciate our help.

But now I’m feeling uneasy. My circumstances so far confirm that I can return to help. I’ve been going to restaurants, businesses, grocery stores, and the gym for months, even without a mask. And yet I hesitate.

But I plan on calling my hospice supervisor later today and provide her with the whole picture, even my reticence, and see what she says. She may say that I can wait until I’m ready. But I don’t know if “ready” will show up, even after doctor clearances, unless I simply go on my first visit and have it behind me.

I’ll keep you posted on decisions I make. Say a prayer for clarity!

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There are 8 comments.

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  1. Rodin Member
    Rodin
    @Rodin

    I am wondering whether at some level you are concerned that mask wearing diminishes the hospice service. Not having first-hand experience I may be way off, but the purpose of the hospice seems to be providing comfort. A mask is a clinical device. Clinical care is to be objective and an effective manipulation of biology, not psychology. I understand the organization’s insistence on wearing masks given the concerns of patients and/or their families, but it cannot be the same experience.

    • #1
  2. Jim McConnell Member
    Jim McConnell
    @JimMcConnell

    I admire your tenacity and your compassion. I think most of us would just take your doctor’s first reaction and say, “Well, I tried.”

    • #2
  3. Susan Quinn Contributor
    Susan Quinn
    @SusanQuinn

    Rodin (View Comment):

    I am wondering whether at some level you are concerned that mask wearing diminishes the hospice service. Not having first-hand experience I may be way off, but the purpose of the hospice seems to be providing comfort. A mask is a clinical device. Clinical care is to be objective and an effective manipulation of biology, not psychology. I understand the organization’s insistence on wearing masks given the concerns of patients and/or their families, but it cannot be the same experience.

    I hadn’t thought about that consciously, but that could certainly be a factor. Then again, many patients are not awake or alert. But if they are, it will not be pleasant with a mask. Thanks for that insight!

    • #3
  4. Manny Coolidge
    Manny
    @Manny

    Susan I’d recommend thinking twice before visiting scores of people. It’s not even so much the Covid issue but your new health circumstances.  I don’t know the specifics of your health but it seems you may be taking on too much. Is your immunity completely back to normal?  You should really know for sure and not guess. If it is you might want to try it on a reduced time basis. Got to know for sure, though. 

    • #4
  5. Susan Quinn Contributor
    Susan Quinn
    @SusanQuinn

    Manny (View Comment):

    Susan I’d recommend thinking twice before visiting scores of people. It’s not even so much the Covid issue but your new health circumstances. I don’t know the specifics of your health but it seems you may be taking on too much. Is your immunity completely back to normal? You should really know for sure and not guess. If it is you might want to try it on a reduced time basis. Got to know for sure, though.

    Thanks for your concern, Manny. I suspect that I’d do only 1 or 2 respite visits per week, including caregivers, so I wouldn’t be visiting a lot of people. I’m actually in pretty good health for now, but I am concerned about my immunity. That’s why I’ve contacted my oncologist. Recovery of immunity can take a while after chemo, depending on the regimen. That’s what I want to know.

    • #5
  6. Chris O Coolidge
    Chris O
    @ChrisO

    This may be way off base, but you have been ill. For anyone there are effects beyond the physical and maybe there’s something lingering that is asking for attention. Rationalizing around it won’t make it go away, but I admire the fortitude and the commitment to service.

    • #6
  7. Susan Quinn Contributor
    Susan Quinn
    @SusanQuinn

    Chris O (View Comment):

    This may be way off base, but you have been ill. For anyone there are effects beyond the physical and maybe there’s something lingering that is asking for attention. Rationalizing around it won’t make it go away, but I admire the fortitude and the commitment to service.

    Thanks, Chris.

    • #7
  8. Susan Quinn Contributor
    Susan Quinn
    @SusanQuinn

    For those wondering about my hospice decision, for several reasons I’m not going to meet with patients in person, at least for now. All indications told me to wait: for some bizarre reason I haven’t heard back from my oncologist on my immune system; my hospice supervisor hasn’t called me back; and my instincts say not yet. There are other things I can do to help; we’ll see if my skill set matches their needs.

    It might be time to move on. We’ll see.

    • #8
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