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The issue of transgenderism is one that has deeply disturbed me since I first heard of it. We are losing thousands of young people to this horrific ideology that is determined to convince, especially young people, that there is something wrong with them and their bodies. Even more tragic is the radical insistence that they should reject their bodies, essentially reject who they are, and become the opposite sex. A recent article in The Federalist presented a compassionate way to identify the source of these victims’ self-hatred and to help them in less radical and destructive ways.
But I would like to suggest that this self-hatred is prevalent in other areas of our society that needs to be addressed as well. In this post, I would like to summarize what people have identified as a more reasonable and compassionate approach to people who want to change their identity. Then I’ll explore how the issue is a reflection of a greater issue within the current culture.
One of the most startling factors that have been happening in great numbers is not just the number of people who make the decision to transition, but those who have decided to “de-transition.” The people who transition are often pre-teen or teenage girls who already probably suffer from identity issues. With the pressures that come from teachers, friends, and the onslaught of transgender groups and videos on the internet, young girls are barraged with the idea that the only solution to their misery is changing their identity. By the time they tell their parents what they will be doing, it is often too late; parents have either assumed that the actions that their children take to identify with the other sex are a passing phase, or in many cases, they don’t tell their parents, rather than consult them with their confusion.
Lisa Littman conducted a study of people who experienced gender dysphoria, went through various changes, and ultimately de-transitioned to their original sex:
Although reasons for detransition varied, only 23 percent reported it was because they had experienced discrimination. Nearly half (49 percent) reported fears about complications from medical interventions as a reason, with 38 percent realizing their so-called dysphoria was actually the result of a particular trauma, abuse, or other mental health issues. Forty-two percent said the transition didn’t improve their mental health, with 36 percent saying it actually made their mental health worse.
A whopping 60 percent, however, detransitioned because they realized they were actually more comfortable living in their “natal sex.” In other words, the majority of detransitioners recognized that denying biological realities didn’t make them more content.
In the case of Walt Heyer, who identified as a woman for eight years, he detransitioned many years ago and has set up a website for those who want to pursue the same goal:
‘I do not know of one single case someone detransitioned because of bullying or discrimination,’ Heyer told The Federalist. In the past seven years, he’s compiled more than 10,000 emails regarding detransition and had more than 2 million visitors to his site. ‘The vast majority of people detransitioned because they realized the surgery never accomplished making them a woman and they just wanted ‘their old life back.’
The sad truth is that so-called transition and those who peddle it as a solution can’t deliver on their promises. According to the study, 71 percent of respondents reported that prior to transition, they ‘thought transitioning was my only option to feel better,’ and 65 percent said they ‘thought transitioning would eliminate my gender dysphoria.’ They later detransitioned when these beliefs were exposed as lies.
Heyer discovered that there is one primary way to help people: to listen—
. . . it’s becoming clearer that the compassionate case actually belongs to those who affirm biological reality. But that means we have a responsibility to make that case, and how we do it matters.
Heyer said the most effective way to help people, particularly youths, is by asking good questions. Rather than barking that they’ve got their facts wrong, he suggests getting them to open up with thought-provoking queries: Why do you want to erase that part of who you are? What caused you not to like who you are? Was it because of another person or people? Did something pique your interest on the internet, in the classroom, or in your friend group that made you think your life would be better if you ‘switched genders’?
“Everyone has a story we need to hear, and listening is the best way to help people,” Heyer said.
So how do we stop the brainwashing by teachers, counselors, and other school authorities? Transgenderism should be addressed with school boards, just as Critical Race Theory became a battlefield. If we are prepared to protest the teaching of CRT, shouldn’t we be fighting the transgender indoctrination? Shouldn’t we make sure that parents know what is happening to their children? Shouldn’t we be enlisting the medical authorities who have begun to see what an unethical and destructive transgender indoctrination is? Isn’t all of this a function of the dysfunction occurring in the larger society?
* * * *
I’ve begun to realize that the symptoms of self-hatred, confusion, and identity are not unique to the transgender community. These symptoms are rampant in the larger culture, and they manifest in a multitude of ways: violence, protests, rejection of traditional mores, immorality, and other misconduct. If I were to summarize these attitudes and emotions, I would call them a rejection of imperfection.
The most virulent and hateful messages in these times come from the Left, which rejects almost everything reflected in traditional society. I think their rejection of the country comes from projecting their rejection of their own imperfection: that they are not the smartest, the most beautiful, the most adept, most popular—you can name almost any characteristic that people clamor for, at least secretly, when they are young—and they want to be admired and acclaimed. But they were dealt a bad hand—an incomplete body, mind, and spirit. And they feel cheated and rejected—by whom is unclear to them, but that is the mindset. They feel rejected because something created them imperfectly, and they hate themselves, because they are entitled to live the perfect life. They have been cheated. It’s not fair. And they won’t tolerate it.
* * * *
The truth is that being born human equates to being imperfect. And life presents us with the incredible gift of imperfection that, if we are fortunate, we will recognize and embrace it.
We have the opportunity to improve, to grow, and to learn. But first, without indulging our imperfections, we must recognize and accept them.
For example, I am not perfect by a long stretch! I am short. I have a short torso. I’m getting brown spots all over my body. My nose is becoming more angular with age.
I also notice that I forget things more often—not enough to alarm me, but to annoy me. I have aches and pains. I am willing to take on only a limited number of challenges in my daily life. I am not nearly as smart as others I know, but I do all right, and in a pinch, I can come up with a clever remark or an insightful comment.
Some of my imperfections are permanent. I choose to see them as my “beauty spots”; they are a testament to my longevity and persistence. Some of my imperfections can be modified through my learning and taking on challenges.
But no matter how I describe my imperfections, they are uniquely mine. No one in the world has quite the collection that I have! And they are a gift to me and my life, because they remind me that there are always opportunities to improve.
G-d created me in His image. And He knows I’m not perfect. And I think He likes me that way. And I try to like me that way, too.
So when we see others trying to destroy our country, or destroy themselves, it’s helpful to keep in mind that they have choices. We may not be able to change their minds; in fact, I’ve decided not to seek out people who virulently disagree with me. We may not be able to convince them that their destructive nature hurts themselves as much as it hurts others. But for those who have not wandered too far down the path of destruction, we might, as Walt Heyer suggests, just listen a little more. Many people have self-destructed to a point where they may not be able to come back. But maybe they can.
Maybe they will.
[The photo is provided by unsplash.com]Published in