The Confectionery Come-On

 

It began two weeks ago, and it is only getting worse. Up and down these office halls I walk, and everywhere I turn, on every table in the break area, and nearly every door I pass, therein lies a bowl of sadistic sugary seduction. Oh, what foul season this is! … that breaks even the most conscientious of calorie counters. One piece, so small, barely registers on MyFitnessPal, surely can’t hurt – and then one piece becomes another becomes another – those sinister sellers of sweets, foiled again!

Little tiny packages of Snickers, Milky Way, Hershey’s bars (Hershey’s Dark, if you please), Peanut M&Ms, Twix, Butterfinger, Reese’s Cups, and my personal kryptonite – the Kit Kat bar. All are conspiring against me, even the unnamed malted milk balls that are wrapped like little eyeballs – in keeping with the season of course.

Less common than these ubiquitous name-brand offerings are those other pieces of confectionery that filled the buckets of my youth:

Bit-O-Honey
Milk Duds
Tootsie Rolls
Bottle Caps
Sugar Daddies
Nerds
Candy Corn
Smarties

Not to mention whatever the heck these things actually are:

So think back, what candy found its way into your Halloween bucket or pillowcase? What did you love, what did you hate? How many razor blades did your parents ever actually find in your stash, as they plundered your wares in the name of “safety”? Did you ever have to share your candy with younger siblings (and did you steal it back when your parents weren’t looking)?

It’s the season … whatcha got?

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  1. Arahant Member
    Arahant
    @Arahant

    Hmmn, salt water taffy.

    • #1
  2. Arahant Member
    Arahant
    @Arahant

    Jim Chase: Less common than these ubiquitous name-brand offerings are those other pieces of confectionery that filled the buckets of my youth:

    Just goes to show how wealthy we have become as a society that we can afford to put out the good stuff.

    • #2
  3. Percival Thatcher
    Percival
    @Percival

    Why are there Circus Peanuts? What were they trying to do? Was the circus in question run by Cooger & Dark?

    • #3
  4. Flicker Coolidge
    Flicker
    @Flicker

    Percival (View Comment):

    Why are there Circus Peanuts? What were they trying to do? Was the circus in question run by Cooger & Dark?

    No, they’re just meant for the elephants, but they caught on.

    • #4
  5. GLDIII Purveyor of Splendid Malpropisms Reagan
    GLDIII Purveyor of Splendid Malpropisms
    @GLDIII

    It has taken a life time to develop the intestinal fortitude to pass those buckets (that and a 30 year battle with Type II). The only ones that I find hard to not indulge in are the dark chocolates, the more bitter the better (something, something, it’s you pal own it). Halloween candies are focused on addicting our children and their sweet tooth, the bulk of the offerings are thus of the milk chocolate variety. So I have a helping hand from the natural marketing zeitgeist. 

    The compromise with the available calories allotted for the remainder of this lifetime have to be dark, bitter, and infrequent. It is a formula that seems to have worked the last decade to keep those unwanted 60 extra pounds away and the inevitable slide to the Type I regime.

    • #5
  6. Jim Chase Member
    Jim Chase
    @JimChase

    GLDIII Purveyor of Splendid Ma… (View Comment):

    It has taken a life time to develop the intestinal fortitude to pass those buckets (that and a 30 year battle with Type II). The only ones that I find hard to not indulge in are the dark chocolates, the more bitter the better (something, something, it’s you pal own it). Halloween candies are focused on addicting our children and their sweet tooth, the bulk of the offerings are thus of the milk chocolate variety. So I have a helping hand from the natural marketing zeitgeist.

    The compromise with the available calories allotted for the remainder of this lifetime have to be dark, bitter, and infrequent. It is a formula that seems to have worked the last decade to keep those unwanted 60 extra pounds away and the inevitable slide to the Type I regime.

    I have good days and bad days – this week has been wall-to-wall, full day leadership Teams meetings (so, a week of bad days).  I agree on the preference potency of dark chocolate – something just shy of straight bitter cocoa powder is about right for me. 

    • #6
  7. Jim Chase Member
    Jim Chase
    @JimChase

    Arahant (View Comment):

    Jim Chase: Less common than these ubiquitous name-brand offerings are those other pieces of confectionery that filled the buckets of my youth:

    Just goes to show how wealthy we have become as a society that we can afford to put out the good stuff.

    Yes.  Still, there’s a strange sense of nostalgia wrapped up in that set of totally artificial, plastic, oil-byproduct confections we called “candy”.  A little color, a little flavoring, some addictive ingredient, and poof – kids’ll eat it. 

    • #7
  8. Percival Thatcher
    Percival
    @Percival

    Flicker (View Comment):

    Percival (View Comment):

    Why are there Circus Peanuts? What were they trying to do? Was the circus in question run by Cooger & Dark?

    No, they’re just meant for the elephants, but they caught on.

    Elephants got better sense than that.

    • #8
  9. Jim Chase Member
    Jim Chase
    @JimChase

    Percival (View Comment):

    Flicker (View Comment):

    Percival (View Comment):

    Why are there Circus Peanuts? What were they trying to do? Was the circus in question run by Cooger & Dark?

    No, they’re just meant for the elephants, but they caught on.

    Elephants got better sense than that.

    Are you talking about these things?  These were revolting:

    • #9
  10. JustmeinAZ Member
    JustmeinAZ
    @JustmeinAZ

    Jim Chase (View Comment):

    Percival (View Comment):

    Flicker (View Comment):

    Percival (View Comment):

    Why are there Circus Peanuts? What were they trying to do? Was the circus in question run by Cooger & Dark?

    No, they’re just meant for the elephants, but they caught on.

    Elephants got better sense than that.

    Are you talking about these things? These were revolting:

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

    I hate Halloween (as far as I’m concerned it’s just sanctioned begging) and even hated it as a child. But I LOVE Circus Peanuts! Pure sugar!

    • #10
  11. Jim Chase Member
    Jim Chase
    @JimChase

    JustmeinAZ (View Comment):

    Jim Chase (View Comment):

    Percival (View Comment):

    Flicker (View Comment):

    Percival (View Comment):

    Why are there Circus Peanuts? What were they trying to do? Was the circus in question run by Cooger & Dark?

    No, they’re just meant for the elephants, but they caught on.

    Elephants got better sense than that.

    Are you talking about these things? These were revolting:

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

    I hate Halloween (as far as I’m concerned it’s just sanctioned begging) and even hated it as a child. But I LOVE Circus Peanuts! Pure sugar!

    Maybe it was a texture thing for me, I don’t remember.

    • #11
  12. Arahant Member
    Arahant
    @Arahant

    JustmeinAZ (View Comment):
    I hate Halloween (as far as I’m concerned it’s just sanctioned begging) and even hated it as a child.

    In the Detroit area, instead of “Trick or Treat,” they would say, “Help the poor!”

    • #12
  13. Percival Thatcher
    Percival
    @Percival

    Jim Chase (View Comment):

    JustmeinAZ (View Comment):

    Jim Chase (View Comment):

    Percival (View Comment):

    Flicker (View Comment):

    Percival (View Comment):

    Why are there Circus Peanuts? What were they trying to do? Was the circus in question run by Cooger & Dark?

    No, they’re just meant for the elephants, but they caught on.

    Elephants got better sense than that.

    Are you talking about these things? These were revolting:

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

    I hate Halloween (as far as I’m concerned it’s just sanctioned begging) and even hated it as a child. But I LOVE Circus Peanuts! Pure sugar!

    Maybe it was a texture thing for me, I don’t remember.

    Too thick to chew. Not thick enough to caulk a boat with.

    • #13
  14. Susan Quinn Contributor
    Susan Quinn
    @SusanQuinn

    Almost anything chocolate. I’m not too picky. Don’t care for Twix, though.

    • #14
  15. MeandurΦ Member
    MeandurΦ
    @DeanMurphy

    Percival (View Comment):

    Why are there Circus Peanuts? What were they trying to do? Was the circus in question run by Cooger & Dark?

    Circus Peanuts are the predecessor of Peeps.  Quasi-marshmallows

    • #15
  16. Jim Chase Member
    Jim Chase
    @JimChase

    MeandurΦ (View Comment):

    Percival (View Comment):

    Why are there Circus Peanuts? What were they trying to do? Was the circus in question run by Cooger & Dark?

    Circus Peanuts are the predecessor of Peeps. Quasi-marshmallows

    Yes.  I’m not a fan of Peeps either.  But you’re right, same genome.

    • #16
  17. JustmeinAZ Member
    JustmeinAZ
    @JustmeinAZ

    MeandurΦ (View Comment):

    Percival (View Comment):

    Why are there Circus Peanuts? What were they trying to do? Was the circus in question run by Cooger & Dark?

    Circus Peanuts are the predecessor of Peeps. Quasi-marshmallows

    Circus Peanuts, besides being of the marshmallow genre, actually have a unique flavor. Don’t leave a bag near me if you have future plans for it.

    • #17
  18. Full Size Tabby Member
    Full Size Tabby
    @FullSizeTabby

    JustmeinAZ (View Comment):
    I hate Halloween (as far as I’m concerned it’s just sanctioned begging)

    Worse. It’s sanctioned blackmail (“give me something or else I’ll do something bad and illegal to you without getting punished”). I think society has gotten far enough from actually carrying out the “or else” for that occasion (if not for others) that I’m just now beginning to come out of almost 40 years of refusing to participate in Halloween. Plus a couple of years ago we moved to a neighborhood of smaller more closely spaced houses with lots of kids that used Halloween 2020 as the neighborhood’s official “we’re done with Covid lockdowns” rebellion, and it was so much fun seeing kids running up and down the street.

    • #18
  19. Percival Thatcher
    Percival
    @Percival

    Jim Chase (View Comment):

    MeandurΦ (View Comment):

    Percival (View Comment):

    Why are there Circus Peanuts? What were they trying to do? Was the circus in question run by Cooger & Dark?

    Circus Peanuts are the predecessor of Peeps. Quasi-marshmallows

    Yes. I’m not a fan of Peeps either. But you’re right, same genome.

    Peeps are at least edible. Likely stale, but edible.

    • #19
  20. Full Size Tabby Member
    Full Size Tabby
    @FullSizeTabby

    Jim Chase (View Comment):

    MeandurΦ (View Comment):

    Percival (View Comment):

    Why are there Circus Peanuts? What were they trying to do? Was the circus in question run by Cooger & Dark?

    Circus Peanuts are the predecessor of Peeps. Quasi-marshmallows

    Yes. I’m not a fan of Peeps either. But you’re right, same genome.

    Oh no, but Peeps have that yummy crust of sugar particulates. Much better than the Circus Peanuts. (Though Peeps are lousy as Halloween handout candy unless you’re going to hand out whole factory sealed packages. Peeps must be eaten within minutes of opening the package, despite what the Cretans who say they actually prefer stale Peeps say). 

    • #20
  21. DaveSchmidt Coolidge
    DaveSchmidt
    @DaveSchmidt

    Students today generally prefer Reece’s Pieces. 

    • #21
  22. Jim Chase Member
    Jim Chase
    @JimChase

    DaveSchmidt (View Comment):

    Students today generally prefer Reece’s Pieces.

    They’re okay.  I remember when they were all the rage, thanks to E.T. of course. 

    • #22
  23. Susan Quinn Contributor
    Susan Quinn
    @SusanQuinn

    Jim Chase (View Comment):

    DaveSchmidt (View Comment):

    Students today generally prefer Reece’s Pieces.

    They’re okay. I remember when they were all the rage, thanks to E.T. of course.

    Nope. I like pb&j but that’s it. Pb doesn’t belong in candy. Yech.

    • #23
  24. JustmeinAZ Member
    JustmeinAZ
    @JustmeinAZ

    Full Size Tabby (View Comment):
    Plus a couple of years ago we moved to a neighborhood of smaller more closely spaced houses with lots of kids that used Halloween 2020 as the neighborhood’s official “we’re done with Covid lockdowns” rebellion, and it was so much fun seeing kids running up and down the street.

    Ah the joys of living in a retirement subdivision. No children! I can’t stand the little creatures and I’m so glad I don’t have to put up with their noises. And their Halloween begging blackmail.

    More candy for me!

     

    • #24
  25. Flicker Coolidge
    Flicker
    @Flicker

    No one here likes marzipan but me?

    • #25
  26. DaveSchmidt Coolidge
    DaveSchmidt
    @DaveSchmidt

    Flicker (View Comment):

    No one here likes marzipan but me?

    I like. Not my favorite though.

    • #26
  27. MeandurΦ Member
    MeandurΦ
    @DeanMurphy

    Full Size Tabby (View Comment):

    Jim Chase (View Comment):

    MeandurΦ (View Comment):

    Percival (View Comment):

    Why are there Circus Peanuts? What were they trying to do? Was the circus in question run by Cooger & Dark?

    Circus Peanuts are the predecessor of Peeps. Quasi-marshmallows

    Yes. I’m not a fan of Peeps either. But you’re right, same genome.

    Oh no, but Peeps have that yummy crust of sugar particulates. Much better than the Circus Peanuts. (Though Peeps are lousy as Halloween handout candy unless you’re going to hand out whole factory sealed packages. Peeps must be eaten within minutes of opening the package, despite what the Cretans who say they actually prefer stale Peeps say).

    I lived in Crete, and never heard one of them say that…

    • #27
  28. RushBabe49 Thatcher
    RushBabe49
    @RushBabe49

    We got one trick-or-treater last year.  Perhaps they heard that I would be giving out the little packs of Welch’s Fruit Snacks.  I buy a big box at Costco, and always have a couple of packs in my work bag.  I love seeing the costumed kiddies, who nearly always have parents with them (discretely waiting on the sidewalk as the kids ring the doorbell).  I always compliment whatever costume they wear.   We will again be giving out the Welch’s, and I will be wearing my Ravenclaw t-shirt and my black witch hat, and holding my wand.

    Accio, Candy!

    • #28
  29. Doctor Robert Member
    Doctor Robert
    @DoctorRobert

    From a TV ad circa 1970:

    “I took a little bit of money

    and I bought a Bit-o-honey.

    Cuz ev’ry bit of Bit-o-honey,

    goes a long, long way.

    Six-teen pieces in ev’ry bar,

    and each will make you sweeter than you awl-ready are.

    (strum, strum, strum) Goes a long, long way…”

    Funny how the tune sticks with me, fifty years later, but not the imagery.

    And I doubt that I have ever in my life tasted a Bit-o-honey.

    • #29