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Once upon a time, political priors were no match for a great comedy – funny was funny. Today many great jokes elicit an anxious over-the-shoulder glance to ensure that the culture’s tastemakers – or your firm’s 22-year-old social media intern – don’t disapprove. Rolling with it is a thing of the past.
No longer is a comic’s greatest fear having his sitcom but his entire career – canceled. With airlines, sports teams, and soft drink manufacturers climbing over one another to bow before the Woke Mob, what is a corporate event planner to do? She must now not only ensure the comedian she hires is funny (or even funny and clean) but also has the correct views.
This means scouring the internet for comedian’s social media posts, blogs, columns, affiliations, and more: all in search of something which might be disqualifying, like that hilarious five-minute bit of yours about how men can’t get pregnant.
How much time could event planners save if they could vet a comic with a single click? With that in mind, below is the most powerful time-saving tool available for event planners seeking a comedy entertainer for their next function: the official Quick-and-Dirty Guide to determining if David Deeble the kind of entertainer you want performing your organization.
Do I Put The Party First?
We all know that in politics, The Party comes first – just ask Trotsky. Likewise, few things should remove an entertainer from consideration quicker than mocking our friends The Democrats. Watch the clip below and decide for yourself if I show the proper respect for The Party of Government. (:29s)
Is My Misinformation About Treating Rabies A Form Of Vaccine Hesitancy?
Recall how our ruling class distanced itself from the vaccines when they were created under the auspices of the Trump administration and now seek to mandate them since their effectiveness against the Delta variant has been brought into question. If the vaccines were a stock, you could’ve made a fortune by buying it during the Trump administration and selling it before the emergence of the Delta variant. Vaccine hesitancy has become a kind of sin in the eyes of the militantly secular, and to so much as a joke about injections can elicit from them an Are you or have you ever been a vaccine skeptic? posture. Does the clip below take me out of consideration on that basis? You decide. (:23s)
Do I Perpetuate Fake News?
Though I’ve published
eight nine articles in the Babylon Bee, none of them have been honored with a fact-check from Snopes. With the advent of the Internet, news consumers need no longer rely on the assurances of the Big Three television networks – and apparently that’s a problem. Therefore we must turn our anxious gaze to the likes of Facebook and self-appointed fact-checkers like Glenn Kessler to ensure that no misinformation ever settles into our pretty little heads. Fact-check the following clip to determine if my headlines are any faker than those proffered daily by CNN. (2:03s)
Do My Audiences Know When To Laugh?
Jeb! taught us that in politics it’s permissible to tell the audience when to clap. In comedy, however, the standup can’t signal to the audience when to laugh. Like a man who’s wife is having an affair, they should just know. As the clip below (1:18s) clearly demonstrates, I don’t always succeed.
Do I Have The Correct Views On Plastic?
Readers may be aware that before plastic bags were replaced with paper bags in order to save the planet, paper bags had been replaced with plastic bags in order to – wait for it – save the planet. No mind – the important thing to know is that designed-in-a-lab progressives like Gavin Newsom know what’s best for the environment. Do I? See for yourself. (1:04s)
To be a professional comedian is to be an entrepreneur, which is to say I don’t have to work with anyone I don’t want to work with. And if you don’t want to work with me because my politics, well, then I don’t want to work with you regardless of your politics. Or better yet, let’s go back to the world where comedy was comedy and politics was politics – and late night TV was dominated by Democrats like Johnny Carson, who wouldn’t dream of alienating half is audience by injecting his politics into every monologue.Published in