Fauci: ‘Nothing Is Over Until I Decide It Is’


A sullen Nancy Pelosi is demoralized about the increased public focus on Covid outcomes rather than Covid case rates. Dr. Anthony Fauci enters and attempts to rally her and the political consultants seated around her.

Fauci: Hey!!! What’s this maskless B.S.?

Pelosi: War’s over, man, Pfizer-Moderna dropped the Big One.

Fauci: Over? Did you say over? Nothing is over until I decide it is! Was it over when Biden launched Operation Warp Speed? Hell no!!!

Rochelle Walensky: Biden?

Scott Gottlieb, M.D.: Forget it, he’s rolling.

Fauci: And it ain’t over now! Because when we reach herd immunity… (pause)… herd immunity gets pushed back! Who’s with me? (Donning second mask) Vax up and mask up! Let’s!!! Go!!!!

(Pregnant pause)

What the hell happened to the Delta variant I used to know? Where’s the spirit? Where’s the guts, huh? This could represent the greatest expansion of federal government in a generation but instead you’re just gonna let them attend weddings without regard to the vaccination status of the groom. (Mock sniveling) Ooh, we’ve done everything you’ve asked of us, Fauci, and nothing has changed. WELL, KISS MY MASK FROM NOW ON!!! Not me! I’m not gonna take this! Trump? He’s a dead man! DeSantis? Dead! Raaaand Paaaaul?!?!?!?!?!?!

Pelosi: (Interjecting) Dead! Fauci’s right. A fascist, but absolutely right. We gotta lockdown these bastards. Now, we could impose mask mandates or bans on singing in church, but that that would cost us those icky purple districts we need to hold our majority in the House. No, in this case, I think we have to go all out. I think this situation absolutely requires a really lawless and politically stupid gesture be done on somebody’s part.

Fauci: And I’m just the guy to do it. Let’s. Go!!!

Published in Healthcare
This post was promoted to the Main Feed by a Ricochet Editor at the recommendation of Ricochet members. Like this post? Want to comment? Join Ricochet’s community of conservatives and be part of the conversation. Join Ricochet for Free.

There are 3 comments.

Become a member to join the conversation. Or sign in if you're already a member.
  1. Bob Thompson Member
    Bob Thompson

    @daviddeeble is doing real political commentary now. I know he is presenting it as satire but he is in the real world as we can see. Makes one wonder how far from their actual beliefs (as if they had any) politicians can venture before their heads explode. Our two-party system is not much help with this frailty of character. The ACLU is with Dr. Fauci today. Here’s where they were a few years ago.

    https://aclu.org/sites/default/files/pdfs/privacy/pemic_report.pdf… .

    Edited to add:

    THE AMERICAN CIVIL LIBERTIES UNION is the nation’s premier guardian of liberty, working daily in courts, legislatures and communities to defend and preserve the individual rights and freedoms guaranteed by the Constitution and the laws of the United States.

    That’s part of the description included in that report. What a joke that is today.

    • #1
  2. Addiction Is A Choice Member
    Addiction Is A Choice

    Saw a great impressionist in Las Vegas named Rich Natole.  He did a bang-on Fauci impression that included this:  “If you wear two swim suits, you can pee in the pool.” 

    • #2
  3. DonG (2+2=5. Say it!) Coolidge
    DonG (2+2=5. Say it!)

    Start the chant:  Del-ta!  Del-ta!  Del-ta!  Del-ta!  

    • #3
Become a member to join the conversation. Or sign in if you're already a member.