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Quote of the Day: Time for a Break
The great question that has never been answered, and which I have not yet been able to answer, despite my thirty years of research into the feminine soul, is ‘What does a woman want?’ –Sigmund Freud
We are all obsessed with events both domestic and foreign, and it’s difficult to maintain one’s clarity. Some of us have friends and relatives that are directly affected by the most recent chaotic events. But if we are to stay engaged, we sometimes need a break that will give us a chance to breathe, relax and re-center.
So I’m sharing this quote by the great Sigmund Freud for your consideration. I can almost predict at least some of the responses to this quotation. Before anyone even answers, the men will roll their eyes and have visions of a dashboard filled with dials and meters. And the women will laugh and insist they aren’t really that complicated.
But since we all can use a temporary lift out of the doldrums of the most recent horrible events, let’s try to show Sigmund that we’ve got this one covered!
[photo by Adi Goldstein from Unsplash.com]
Published in Group Writing
Oh how I wish it was as easy as a mere dashboard filled with dials and meters. Cue the eye roll.
“You don’t even know what you did, do you!” It’s like guessing a number between 1 and a trillion and the only feedback is, “WRONG!!!”
Ah c’mon, @sisyphus. You only have to guess between one and a billion. Let’s not exaggerate . . . ;-)
All people want to be able to love others and feel loved . We know in our hearts how unlovable we really are, and we have difficulty with others.
Now we have different wiring and that leads to some communication issues as talked about below.
Short version:
The Whole thing:
The women may hate me, but I go nuts when men ask women what’s wrong, and they sniff and say, “Nothing.” Right.
Well, now, @illinguy, you just have to take notes every time. Then again, we do move the goal posts . . .
Bryan, I have both videos up full volume and am getting no sound. Do they work for you?
The irony of that comment in this post is too rich for words.
True! [snicker]
Dr. Laura wrote in her book “Woman Power” that women have the power in relationship. She advocated what I call the three Fs:
Feed the Man: Not just food, but feed his spirit and soul. Feed his emotional needs. Men have as much need for emotional intimacy as women, but unlike women we don’t get it from our own sex usually. In fact, in the modern world, intimacy between men is discouraged. It is sad how few men have a true best friend. I am blessed with three men I can say anything too. Men need the women in their lives to support them. The Men Going Their Own Way, having sport sex and disowning any serious relationships with women are men who have given up on this intimacy.
Feel like a Hero: Men are programmed by our biology to want to take care of women. A woman’s tears move us to action. “Happy Wife, Happy Life” has some truth, because I do not know a man who loves his wife who can feel at peace when his wife is unhappy. He often will own her happiness in ways that are not healthy if she lets him. If the woman lets her man feel like a hero to her, and she thanks him for it, he will be on top of the world.
This includes not treating him like a child or with contempt. Too many women feel that because men are not like them, they are just boys. The same energy that drives that “boyishness” is the same energy that will walk through fire to rescue you and your children. It is the same energy that means he will work a hard job he hates just to make it work. That should be honored not derided when he uses it to have fun.
Fool Around: I know the stereotype, but sex is far more for a man than orgasm. Trust me, he has been taking care of that himself since he discovered he could do it when he was a boy. Sex with the woman you love provides an emotional attachment and reinforces his sense of place and well being. Yes, so part of us wants to have sex with every sexy woman we see. But we really want the love and affection and affirmation of the woman we love. She is most important.
And I want to emphasize this last one. Women are far, far more concerned with how they look than the men who love them. Love goggles, as it were, are the strongest goggles in the world. Most men in sexless marriages would love to see their wives’ bodies again, sags and all.
The great irony of feminism in the 21st Century, is that women have abandoned their natural power and instead have decided that they have no power at all, and that all bad things that happen to them are the fault of men. The women who reject this are not only more happy than their counterparts, the men they love live lives other men look upon with Envy.
I know that is true for me and my lovely lady:
Yes they do.
My answer is from the Bible, with a hat tip to Dennis Prager:
I believe this aptly describes male and female nature. Individual desires are obviously of the individual. But, in our nature, women want to be cherished and protected. As the receptacles of new life, we are vulnerable. We want a protector and provider who cherishes us in our vulnerability.
It also describes “what men want.” Men want their work to count for something. They want to be appreciated for their labor and honored for it by their wives.
I don’t think Freud or any modern psychoanalyst can come close to this wisdom.
Dude can’t even beat this Ricochet thread. He ain’t coming anywhere close to Scripture.
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Greta Garbo.
I would disagree with that last line pretty strongly. Jung clearly understood this. As a therapist, I understand it, as I think my post above pretty much supports this point of view.
Darn it! I had just gone back to using Brave, after finding that certain YouTubes wouldn’t play on it. Just tried Edge and had no problem. I have no idea what the problem is, but it very annoying.
I’m enormously grateful for my hubby, too. He knows if he suspects that I’m unhappy, he just needs to ask. And I will be honest. No tricks.
Hate to leave the discussion, but I have clients to see,
I enthusiastically agree, WC. Thanks!
She was the epitome of mystery! Thanks, @rodin.
Me too! I have to get ready for work!!! Ack!!
@westernchauvinist and @bryangstephens, drop by later! We’ll be here!
Okay, you’re right. They come close. But, God got there first.
God wrote the software.
It is like the practice of gratitude. Since tells us it works. It is all through the Bible, God did not need science to tell us as He made us.
Then there’s this:
This is the one I wanted to use, Stad! Thanks!
That sums it up very nicely. (Speaking from 83 years’ experience!)
Besides, if the first guess is wrong you can eliminate it from your pool for your next guess.