Take a Risk. Lose the Mask. Get the Girl.

 

I had occasion to write in a comment in another thread (which I deleted) about someone I knew long ago. That he wasn’t the most dependable of men, but he was someone who I knew would have walked through fire for me.

And it got me thinking about the times in which we find ourselves. There’s a young man of our acquaintance; if there was a son #4, it would be him. His parents adopted him when they were in their 50s; we met him when he was five, he grew up right in between sons #2 and #3.

His parents being of a certain age, Covid has been issue #1 in these past many months. We finally managed to encourage him out of his home a couple of times; on each occasion, I pulled him aside and said: Honey. Lose the mask. There are available women here. They might not even be aware, but they’re judging you on your willingness to take risks.

I can be a nice person. And with some, I’ll make the effort, like with son #4 (sons 1-3 would claim they have never seen me nice). But I am sick to death of reading comments and Twitter threads and Facebook posts from men (?) who lament the tough times in which they find themselves. Mask? No Mask? Vaccine? No Vaccine? Work at home? Go to the office? Which colored lanyard?

It’s all too much for them, they’re suffering from anxiety. They remind themselves they have the burden of living in literally. The. Toughest. Times. Ever.

Seriously. Have they never had a conversation with their grandparents? Their parents?

Back in the day, everyone would sit back after dinner, have a coffee and a smoke, and listen to stories. Which gave us context to judge circumstances. There is no context anymore, which is leading to an epidemic of anxiousness.

Lame.

Women want someone who will walk through fire for them. Not someone fussing over whether who is wearing a mask at Whole Foods.

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  1. Gary McVey Contributor
    Gary McVey
    @GaryMcVey

    It really depends on the girl. A young man of today might find that some of the young ladies shopping at Whole Foods are worth taking up granola for.

    “Let’s ask him. Hey, mister, does this thong make my butt look too big?”

    • #1
  2. Arahant Member
    Arahant
    @Arahant

    Annefy: Don’t be a maskhole

    Well, you’re the first to use that tag. I hope you won’t be the last.

    • #2
  3. Kevin Schulte Member
    Kevin Schulte
    @KevinSchulte

    As Gary eluded too. Girls today I think are not like girls of old . Society has changed upside down. Yes, there are gems to be had . But I think not in sufficient quantity. Diamonds in the the rough that must be tediously mined. Same concerning guy’s for the gals.   

    • #3
  4. Western Chauvinist Member
    Western Chauvinist
    @WesternChauvinist

    My sis and I often talk about our dad storming Omaha Beach on D-Day with a bunch of other 17, 18, 19 and 20 year-olds. And today’s youth are concerned about wearing paper masks? How far the mighty have fallen. Get out there and live!

    • #4
  5. Western Chauvinist Member
    Western Chauvinist
    @WesternChauvinist

    Annefy: I can be a nice person.

    I love this with all the subtext.

    I apprentice under an older man as a volunteer groundskeeper at my parish. He has a background in golf course greenkeeping and is a real character. When I turn up to volunteer, he often asks if I’m being nice. I reply, “I’m trying, but it’s really hard.” Your aside reminds me of this banter.

    • #5
  6. kedavis Member
    kedavis
    @kedavis

    Women might want – or think they want – risk-taking men, but women themselves tend to be a lot more risk-averse (for themselves and regarding their children too, which is why children need both a mother and father in the home) so I wouldn’t be surprised if a lot of young women are looking for someone who will Stay Masked Forever, For My Safety And Our Children.

    See also:  https://ricochet.com/1016164/my-wife-is-totally-freaking-out-about-covid-and-i-know-i-cant-be-the-only-one/

     

    It’s Highly Illogical.

     

    • #6
  7. Western Chauvinist Member
    Western Chauvinist
    @WesternChauvinist

    kedavis (View Comment):

    Women might want – or think they want – risk-taking men, but women themselves tend to be a lot more risk-averse (for themselves and regarding their children too, which is why children need both a mother and father in the home) so I wouldn’t be surprised if a lot of young women are looking for someone who will Stay Masked Forever, For My Safety And Our Children.

    See also: https://ricochet.com/1016164/my-wife-is-totally-freaking-out-about-covid-and-i-know-i-cant-be-the-only-one/

     

    It’s Highly Illogical.

    It’s a byproduct of feminism undermining the authority of men in their marriages. Women used to understand that men were/are the prime movers in advancing civilization (and women were/are the more passive civilizers of the young) and they almost always do it (did it) through competitiveness, aggression, and often violence. That is not the purview of women, no matter what the 110 pound superhero women throwing men around in the movies would have us believe.

    The feminization of men is just another removal of one of the chocks under the wheels of our civilization. It’s all downhill from here. 

    • #7
  8. Kephalithos Member
    Kephalithos
    @Kephalithos

    Kevin Schulte (View Comment): As Gary eluded too. Girls today I think are not like girls of old . Society has changed upside down. Yes, there are gems to be had . But I think not in sufficient quantity. Diamonds in the the rough that must be tediously mined. Same concerning guy’s for the gals.

    Yes. 100 percent. A lot of rough, and not many diamonds. Plus, the diamonds don’t do a good job of making themselves known.

    • #8
  9. EJHill Podcaster
    EJHill
    @EJHill

    We’ve sold our children a bill of goods on what will make their life fulfilling.

    Humans are weird. On the one hand the majority worship “the science” and many eschew religion and yet they still believe that they can dismiss millions of years of evolution and proclaim everything they dislike “a social construct.” How does that work?

    Sometimes I think we do need a great reset. If there is a civilizational collapse my greatest hope is that within six months the only people left are a bunch of bad ass Marines with a basement full of MREs, enough ammo for a small nation and enough women bright enough to procreate with them.

    • #9
  10. James Salerno Coolidge
    James Salerno
    @JamesSalerno

    You can make all of the societal changes you want, but biology does not change. Women who say they are attracted to weak men are either lying or using said men. Those relationships usually do not last.

    As for anxiety, I could write a whole post on that. I think diagnosing normal human emotions as “disorders” and medicating every child into a stupor plays a huge role in this.

    • #10
  11. CarolJoy, Not So Easy To Kill Coolidge
    CarolJoy, Not So Easy To Kill
    @CarolJoy

    kedavis (View Comment):

    Women might want – or think they want – risk-taking men, but women themselves tend to be a lot more risk-averse (for themselves and regarding their children too, which is why children need both a mother and father in the home) so I wouldn’t be surprised if a lot of young women are looking for someone who will Stay Masked Forever, For My Safety And Our Children.

    See also: https://ricochet.com/1016164/my-wife-is-totally-freaking-out-about-covid-and-i-know-i-cant-be-the-only-one/

     

    It’s Highly Illogical.

     

    A local FB group is filled with people chiding us non-maskers for not being “brave” enough to risk a little acne that might come abt by wearing a mask.

    The mask wearers see themselves as being smart “We listen to the Science!” And they themselves as being brave: “Our lungs and bodies are strong enough to withstand wearing a mask and getting by on a little less oxygen!” Plus apparently they care more about others.

    I’d ditch this group but it is one of the best sources of info when a fire has broken out locally.  :-(

     

    • #11
  12. Annefy Member
    Annefy
    @Annefy

    James Salerno (View Comment):

    You can make all of the societal changes you want, but biology does not change. Women who say they are attracted to weak men are either lying or using said men. Those relationships usually do not last.

    I have watched women turn their men into a kindler, gentler, more sensitive type. Whether those men actually “changed” or just adjusted their behavior, I don’t know. 

    In every case, not only did the relationship not last, the woman ended up despising the man. 

    I’ve been unfortunate to witness up close a lot of divorces. The ire these women have for their ex husbands defies description. White, hot hatred is as close as I can get 

    • #12
  13. kedavis Member
    kedavis
    @kedavis

    Annefy (View Comment):

    James Salerno (View Comment):

    You can make all of the societal changes you want, but biology does not change. Women who say they are attracted to weak men are either lying or using said men. Those relationships usually do not last.

    I have watched women turn their men into a kindler, gentler, more sensitive type. Whether those men actually “changed” or just adjusted their behavior, I don’t know.

    In every case, not only did the relationship not last, the woman ended up despising the man.

    I’ve been unfortunate to witness up close a lot of divorces. The ire these women have for their ex husbands defies description. White, hot hatred is as close as I can get

    I can think of several ways that could develop, do you think there’s any particular scenario that’s most likely?  Such as, she insists that he “change,” and he does, then she realizes she hates the “change” but won’t admit it was her own fault so she hates him instead?  Or she insists that he change, but he refuses, and she hates him for that even though she would hate it just as much – if not more – if he DID change?  Just for two examples.

    • #13
  14. Fritz Coolidge
    Fritz
    @Fritz

    kedavis (View Comment):

    Annefy (View Comment):

    James Salerno (View Comment):

    You can make all of the societal changes you want, but biology does not change. Women who say they are attracted to weak men are either lying or using said men. Those relationships usually do not last.

    I have watched women turn their men into a kindler, gentler, more sensitive type. Whether those men actually “changed” or just adjusted their behavior, I don’t know.

    In every case, not only did the relationship not last, the woman ended up despising the man.

    I’ve been unfortunate to witness up close a lot of divorces. The ire these women have for their ex husbands defies description. White, hot hatred is as close as I can get

    I can think of several ways that could develop, do you think there’s any particular scenario that’s most likely? Such as, she insists that he “change,” and he does, then she realizes she hates the “change” but won’t admit it was her own fault so she hates him instead? Or she insists that he change, but he refuses, and she hates him for that even though she would hate it just as much – if not more – if he DID change? Just for two examples.

    I think it’s a subconscious thing. The woman is like a little kid who pushes at the boundaries of misbehavior, testing the parents, and then feeling relief when they do enforce the boundary. Only the woman pushing the guy is actually disappointed when she gets her way, finding there’s no steeliness in her man, and as a result she turns on him. I am not a psychologist but I have slept at a Holiday Inn Express.

    • #14
  15. kedavis Member
    kedavis
    @kedavis

    Fritz (View Comment):

    kedavis (View Comment):

    Annefy (View Comment):

    James Salerno (View Comment):

    You can make all of the societal changes you want, but biology does not change. Women who say they are attracted to weak men are either lying or using said men. Those relationships usually do not last.

    I have watched women turn their men into a kindler, gentler, more sensitive type. Whether those men actually “changed” or just adjusted their behavior, I don’t know.

    In every case, not only did the relationship not last, the woman ended up despising the man.

    I’ve been unfortunate to witness up close a lot of divorces. The ire these women have for their ex husbands defies description. White, hot hatred is as close as I can get

    I can think of several ways that could develop, do you think there’s any particular scenario that’s most likely? Such as, she insists that he “change,” and he does, then she realizes she hates the “change” but won’t admit it was her own fault so she hates him instead? Or she insists that he change, but he refuses, and she hates him for that even though she would hate it just as much – if not more – if he DID change? Just for two examples.

    I think it’s a subconscious thing. The woman is like a little kid who pushes at the boundaries of misbehavior, testing the parents, and then feeling relief when they do enforce the boundary. Only the woman pushing the guy is actually disappointed when she gets her way, finding there’s no steeliness in her man, and as a result she turns on him. I am not a psychologist but I have slept at a Holiday Inn Express.

    I don’t see “disappointment” leading to “white-hot rage.”  I could see her “ruining” guy after guy, insisting that they “change” then losing interest and moving on when they do, but how does it go from that to “white-hot rage?”  Does it become “rage” when he won’t change, but since she’s convinced by feminism/leftism/whatever that he MUST submit to her demands, she can’t accept it even though she should?

    • #15
  16. navyjag Coolidge
    navyjag
    @navyjag

    Annefy, this is better than the sex advice when I had my “talk” with my two sons when they are 15.  25 years ago. And we only had VD to worry about then. 

    • #16
  17. Al Sparks Thatcher
    Al Sparks
    @AlSparks

    Annefy:

    I can be a nice person. And with some, I’ll make the effort, like with son #4 (sons 1-3 would claim they have never seen me nice). But I am sick to death of reading comments and Twitter threads and Facebook posts from men (?) who lament the tough times in which they find themselves. Mask? No Mask? Vaccine? No Vaccine? Work at home? Go to the office? Which colored lanyard?

    It’s all too much for them, they’re suffering from anxiety. They remind themselves they have the burden of living in literally. The. Toughest. Times. Ever.

    My parents, as well as my teachers in K-12 were young adults in World War II and grew up during the depression.

    They let us know we were lucky, and mostly we believed them.  Sure, we joked that they walked 5 miles a day to school and back, uphill both ways, but actually we believed them.

     

    • #17
  18. kedavis Member
    kedavis
    @kedavis

    Al Sparks (View Comment):

    Annefy:

    I can be a nice person. And with some, I’ll make the effort, like with son #4 (sons 1-3 would claim they have never seen me nice). But I am sick to death of reading comments and Twitter threads and Facebook posts from men (?) who lament the tough times in which they find themselves. Mask? No Mask? Vaccine? No Vaccine? Work at home? Go to the office? Which colored lanyard?

    It’s all too much for them, they’re suffering from anxiety. They remind themselves they have the burden of living in literally. The. Toughest. Times. Ever.

    My parents, as well as my teachers in K-12 were young adults in World War II and grew up during the depression.

    They let us know we were lucky, and mostly we believed them. Sure, we joked that they walked 5 miles a day to school and back, uphill both ways, but actually we believed them.

    Actually, I walked uphill both ways, to and from jr high and high school, because it was on the other side of a hill.  So you walked from home, uphill for a while, and then downhill to the school.  Coming back home, you’d walk first uphill from the school, and then downhill to get home.

    It wasn’t really very far, but it WAS uphill, both ways.

    • #18
  19. Annefy Member
    Annefy
    @Annefy

    Fritz (View Comment):

    kedavis (View Comment):

    Annefy (View Comment):

    James Salerno (View Comment):

    You can make all of the societal changes you want, but biology does not change. Women who say they are attracted to weak men are either lying or using said men. Those relationships usually do not last.

    I have watched women turn their men into a kindler, gentler, more sensitive type. Whether those men actually “changed” or just adjusted their behavior, I don’t know.

    In every case, not only did the relationship not last, the woman ended up despising the man.

    I’ve been unfortunate to witness up close a lot of divorces. The ire these women have for their ex husbands defies description. White, hot hatred is as close as I can get

    I can think of several ways that could develop, do you think there’s any particular scenario that’s most likely? Such as, she insists that he “change,” and he does, then she realizes she hates the “change” but won’t admit it was her own fault so she hates him instead? Or she insists that he change, but he refuses, and she hates him for that even though she would hate it just as much – if not more – if he DID change? Just for two examples.

    I think it’s a subconscious thing. The woman is like a little kid who pushes at the boundaries of misbehavior, testing the parents, and then feeling relief when they do enforce the boundary. Only the woman pushing the guy is actually disappointed when she gets her way, finding there’s no steeliness in her man, and as a result she turns on him. I am not a psychologist but I have slept at a Holiday Inn Express.

    This is how I would describe it. 

    • #19
  20. navyjag Coolidge
    navyjag
    @navyjag

    Not to cross wise with you KE but I think James has this right.  As the pick up blog sites had it right 20 years ago. 

    • #20
  21. kedavis Member
    kedavis
    @kedavis

    navyjag (View Comment):

    Not to cross wise with you KE but I think James has this right. As the pick up blog sites had it right 20 years ago.

    What?  You mean James Salerno?  I don’t think he was wrong, but the question got to some more details about the specific path it takes.  One problem, I think, is that women are getting a lot more “input” saying that they shouldn’t want what they DO want.  That “input” is difficult to ignore if they don’t want to be shunned by that side.

    • #21
  22. Annefy Member
    Annefy
    @Annefy

    I am only commenting on marriages that I have witnessed. The woman wants her husband  to be more sensitive, more compliant. When the question is : where are we going for dinner? It’s just easier for the husband to say : wherever you want. 

    Another commenter described it well – subconsciously the woman is looking for push back. And if she doesn’t get it, she grows to despise her man 

    • #22
  23. navyjag Coolidge
    navyjag
    @navyjag

    Annefy (View Comment):

    I am only commenting on marriages that I have witnessed. The woman wants her husband to be more sensitive, more compliant. When the question is : where are we going for dinner? It’s just easier for the husband to say : wherever you want.

    Another commenter described it well – subconsciously the woman is looking for push back. And if she doesn’t get it, she grows to despise her man

    Push back over where for dinner? My answer is always the same: BBQ.

    • #23
  24. Annefy Member
    Annefy
    @Annefy

    navyjag (View Comment):

    Annefy (View Comment):

    I am only commenting on marriages that I have witnessed. The woman wants her husband to be more sensitive, more compliant. When the question is : where are we going for dinner? It’s just easier for the husband to say : wherever you want.

    Another commenter described it well – subconsciously the woman is looking for push back. And if she doesn’t get it, she grows to despise her man

    Push back over where for dinner? My answer is always the same: BBQ.

    Sample response:

    BBQ? Again? You know I’m on a diet and I can’t believe you suggested it. Sick. To. Death. Of. BBQ. and you know it.

    After a few responses like that, the question “where do you want to go for dinner” is answered “wherever you want”. They’re going to end up where she wants to go anyway; easier to cut to the chase.

    • #24
  25. navyjag Coolidge
    navyjag
    @navyjag

    Annefy (View Comment):

    navyjag (View Comment):

    Annefy (View Comment):

    I am only commenting on marriages that I have witnessed. The woman wants her husband to be more sensitive, more compliant. When the question is : where are we going for dinner? It’s just easier for the husband to say : wherever you want.

    Another commenter described it well – subconsciously the woman is looking for push back. And if she doesn’t get it, she grows to despise her man

    Push back over where for dinner? My answer is always the same: BBQ.

    Sample response:

    BBQ? Again? You know I’m on a diet and I can’t believe you suggested it. Sick. To. Death. Of. BBQ. and you know it.

    After a few responses like that, the question “where do you want to go for dinner” is answered “wherever you want”. They’re going to end up where she wants to go anyway; easier to cut to the chase.

    well, we both  like Indian, Vietnamese and Italian. In San Fran lots of good places. 

    • #25
  26. Joseph Stanko Coolidge
    Joseph Stanko
    @JosephStanko

    Annefy (View Comment):

    navyjag (View Comment):

    Annefy (View Comment):

    I am only commenting on marriages that I have witnessed. The woman wants her husband to be more sensitive, more compliant. When the question is : where are we going for dinner? It’s just easier for the husband to say : wherever you want.

    Another commenter described it well – subconsciously the woman is looking for push back. And if she doesn’t get it, she grows to despise her man

    Push back over where for dinner? My answer is always the same: BBQ.

    Sample response:

    BBQ? Again? You know I’m on a diet and I can’t believe you suggested it. Sick. To. Death. Of. BBQ. and you know it.

    After a few responses like that, the question “where do you want to go for dinner” is answered “wherever you want”. They’re going to end up where she wants to go anyway; easier to cut to the chase.

    You’re making me feel a lot better about still being single…

    • #26
  27. Annefy Member
    Annefy
    @Annefy

    Joseph Stanko (View Comment):

    Annefy (View Comment):

    navyjag (View Comment):

    Annefy (View Comment):

    I am only commenting on marriages that I have witnessed. The woman wants her husband to be more sensitive, more compliant. When the question is : where are we going for dinner? It’s just easier for the husband to say : wherever you want.

    Another commenter described it well – subconsciously the woman is looking for push back. And if she doesn’t get it, she grows to despise her man

    Push back over where for dinner? My answer is always the same: BBQ.

    Sample response:

    BBQ? Again? You know I’m on a diet and I can’t believe you suggested it. Sick. To. Death. Of. BBQ. and you know it.

    After a few responses like that, the question “where do you want to go for dinner” is answered “wherever you want”. They’re going to end up where she wants to go anyway; easier to cut to the chase.

    You’re making me feel a lot better about still being single…

    Certainly not my intent. While I’ve had the misfortune to witness marriages that didn’t last, I’m in one that’s nearly 35 years old. We’re still having fun (though we don’t eat out much …)

    I’ll try and come up with a post that gives a reason to tell some good stories. 

    • #27
  28. kedavis Member
    kedavis
    @kedavis

    Years ago, I talked with one of my grandmothers about how rough things were when she was growing up, first married, etc.  I don’t remember exact numbers, but I remember the gist of it.  One time I remember, started because I’d said something about income and expenses, I think it was the early 80s, and I was making like $1000/month on my first regular computer job.  She thought it was ridiculous, because when she and grandpa were first married, their income was like $100/month.  I asked her how much their house cost.  It was like $8/month, or 8% of their income, probably net at that time.  I was paying $200, which was 20% of my GROSS income.  And these days, people paying 1/3rd or even 1/2 of their income on rent/mortgage/whatever, is not uncommon.

    I don’t think they had a separate electric bill, it might have been included with the house, but if not it was very small because they didn’t have anything but lights.  Maybe a radio.    No water bill, because it was a hand pump.  No sewer bill, because they had an outhouse.  No gas or oil bill etc, because heat and cooking were wood stoves.

    It’s like I commented earlier/elsewhere, a lot of what makes life expensive these days are the very advancements in quality of life, including indoor plumbing, etc.  And you can’t avoid them: even if you wanted to not have running water, and wanted to use an outhouse, to save money, cities won’t let you do it.  Often you’re not allowed to use candles or lanterns etc for light or heat, either.  Landlords don’t allow it for rentals, city codes don’t allow it for owned homes…  When I managed apartments, people got evicted for safety if their electricity was shut off.  You’re also not allowed to have a house that is lacking required safety features, fire-proof roofing and insulation – which must have a certain level of energy conservation…

    And then the usual:  eggs were 5 cents a dozen or maybe less.  So and and so on…  Life might be “easier” now, and/or safer, but it’s definitely more expensive, as percentages of income.

    Regarding women, the single young women I knew of in Phoenix before moving last August – daughters and nieces of neighbors, etc – were all terrified of covid.  Biologically they might want a man “willing to take risks” but their social/parental “programming” overcame that, by orders of magnitude.  Maybe if they were married already or had spent more time with men earlier – many of them lived with mothers and no fathers – they would have developed healthier attitudes.  But the fact is, they didn’t, and it showed.  And that doesn’t change by going to a “party” with young men not wearing masks to try and impress them.

    • #28
  29. Annefy Member
    Annefy
    @Annefy

    kedavis (View Comment):

     

    Regarding women, the single young women I knew of in Phoenix before moving last August – daughters and nieces of neighbors, etc – were all terrified of covid. Biologically they might want a man “willing to take risks” but their social/parental “programming” overcame that, by orders of magnitude. Maybe if they were married already or had spent more time with men earlier – many of them lived with mothers and no fathers – they would have developed healthier attitudes. But the fact is, they didn’t, and it showed. And that doesn’t change by going to a “party” with young men not wearing masks to try and impress them.

    I’m guessing the women you describe wouldn’t have accepted the invitation to the party in the first place

    • #29
  30. kedavis Member
    kedavis
    @kedavis

    Annefy (View Comment):

    kedavis (View Comment):

     

    Regarding women, the single young women I knew of in Phoenix before moving last August – daughters and nieces of neighbors, etc – were all terrified of covid. Biologically they might want a man “willing to take risks” but their social/parental “programming” overcame that, by orders of magnitude. Maybe if they were married already or had spent more time with men earlier – many of them lived with mothers and no fathers – they would have developed healthier attitudes. But the fact is, they didn’t, and it showed. And that doesn’t change by going to a “party” with young men not wearing masks to try and impress them.

    I’m guessing the women you describe wouldn’t have accepted the invitation to the party in the first place

    If the announcement or whatever suggested that masks were “expected” they’d probably have gone, and then maybe left if they saw many people not using masks at least if they didn’t really believe that masks protected THEM even if other people didn’t seem to care if they got covid.  But I don’t think they would have been impressed by the guys not wearing masks, unless they didn’t wear masks themselves but that would have been very unlikely for those young women.

    And having been married already for years, doesn’t seem to matter for a lot of women either, as we see in:  https://ricochet.com/1016164/my-wife-is-totally-freaking-out-about-covid-and-i-know-i-cant-be-the-only-one/

    • #30