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Not the Babylon Bee
I’m never surprised at the stupid things the left comes up with. I’m also never surprised at how they try to outdo one another when it comes to absurd ideas. Now, they’re playing with sharks.
Here’s the main quote from the article: “Marine experts and advocates in Australia are urging the public to refrain from using the word ‘attack’ in reference to sharks, declaring that the majestic predatory fish has been unfairly stigmatized as a deliberate killer.”
“Unfairly stigmatized?” Try this:
Woman: Sir, how did you lose your leg?
Man: Shark interaction.
Sounds silly, doesn’t it? At least they didn’t try to call it “interspecies dining.”
Oh, and killer whales are next . . .
Published in Politics
And it wasn’t a “plane crash,” it was an “unscheduled flight termination.”
I bet his friends practiced social distancing with him before COVID . . .
He wasn’t electrocuted, he had a terminal electricity encounter.
Yep, and either someone needs an editor, or he was born a poor Black boy.
know its an old joke , but……… and his name is Lucky right?
Erik Norrie, but I like the way you think.
also …. I can see how all of these can happen to you while minding your own business except ….. just how do you get punched by a monkey ?????
Say something insulting like, “Yo mama works for an organ grinder.”
This guy might take the cake, though.
Twice! The first time, he got too close to one in Brasil. The second time, his wife locked him in a cage with a small monkey as a joke. (He wasn’t laughing.) The monkey jumped on his head, took away his keys, and beat him with his own keys.
Hah.
From the article:
No, the unluckiest guy ever was Barack Obama. James Taranto’s Best of the Web had a regular section about it, titled “Why do bad things keep happening to him?”
In the past I heard it explained that when a Great White bites you, it is not so much an attack but an exploratory bite. See, they don’t want to kill you, they just want to rip you open and see how the insides taste (and if you taste good, then they’ll eat you). Sort of like when you go through a box of chocolates taking little nibbles to see what is on the inside.
Even the name “shark” has unfair mob connotations. Let’s propose a fair name for them: Sea-pruners, for example.
How did she get him to go into the cage in the first place? I need to know in case my wife tries it on me . . .
I met an Air Force person who lost everything when Mt. Pinatabo blew, destroying our AF base, was in San Francisco airport when the earthquake hit, and was stationed at Homestead AFB when Andrew hit.
She’s gonna need a bigger monkey for you.
Another one where I’d be saying, “Don’t stand so close, there, pal.”
Nice.
That is totally awesome!! “Unfairly stigmatized”…Sharks are getting their feelings hurt!! I suppose that next we will be told that we mustn’t talk about grizzly bears as aggressors either, in the Rocky Mountains. They are just “interacting” when they pluck you from a tent in the night and eat you!
Did the Air Force ask him to please join some other branch of the service, so they wouldn’t keep losing bases due his presence??
Wait. That doesn’t have enough syllables to be truly fair. How about “diverse ocean guardian spirits”?
“These burrito wrappers really suck. Whatever happened to flour tortillas?” a grizzly bear.
Definitely not a guy I would want as a seatmate on a long C-130 ride.
Posthumously named the new spokesperson for Lucky Strikes.
Ask his date if she’d like to try a real man.
There you go, unfairly stigmatizing bears of a particular shade of brown. “Grizzly” sounds like “grisly.” We should affirm them as North American brown bears.
But grizzly means gray or graying.
First step…. don’t give a monkey “the bird:”
I suspect if he took the cake, he’d find out it had been poisoned!