Not the Babylon Bee

 

I’m never surprised at the stupid things the left comes up with. I’m also never surprised at how they try to outdo one another when it comes to absurd ideas. Now, they’re playing with sharks.

Here’s the main quote from the article: “Marine experts and advocates in Australia are urging the public to refrain from using the word ‘attack’ in reference to sharks, declaring that the majestic predatory fish has been unfairly stigmatized as a deliberate killer.”

“Unfairly stigmatized?” Try this:

Woman: Sir, how did you lose your leg?

Man: Shark interaction.

Sounds silly, doesn’t it?  At least they didn’t try to call it “interspecies dining.”

Oh, and killer whales are next . . .

Published in Politics
This post was promoted to the Main Feed by a Ricochet Editor at the recommendation of Ricochet members. Like this post? Want to comment? Join Ricochet’s community of conservatives and be part of the conversation. Get your first month free.

There are 33 comments.

Become a member to join the conversation. Or sign in if you're already a member.
  1. Arahant Member
    Arahant
    @Arahant

    • #1
  2. Addiction Is A Choice Member
    Addiction Is A Choice
    @AddictionIsAChoice

    And it wasn’t a “plane crash,” it was an “unscheduled flight termination.” 

    • #2
  3. Stad Coolidge
    Stad
    @Stad

    Arahant (View Comment):

    I bet his friends practiced social distancing with him before COVID . . .

    • #3
  4. Arahant Member
    Arahant
    @Arahant

    He wasn’t electrocuted, he had a terminal electricity encounter.

    • #4
  5. Arahant Member
    Arahant
    @Arahant

    Stad (View Comment):

    Arahant (View Comment):

    I bet his friends practiced social distancing with him before COVID . . .

    Yep, and either someone needs an editor, or he was born a poor Black boy.

    • #5
  6. Ole Summers Member
    Ole Summers
    @OleSummers

    Arahant (View Comment):

    know its an old joke , but……… and his name is Lucky right?

    • #6
  7. Arahant Member
    Arahant
    @Arahant

    Ole Summers (View Comment):
    know its an old joke , but……… and his name is Lucky right?

    Erik Norrie, but I like the way you think.

    • #7
  8. Ole Summers Member
    Ole Summers
    @OleSummers

    Arahant (View Comment):

    also …. I can see how all of these can happen to you while minding your own business except ….. just how do you get punched by a monkey ?????

    • #8
  9. Stad Coolidge
    Stad
    @Stad

    Ole Summers (View Comment):

    Arahant (View Comment):

    also …. I can see how all of these can happen to you while minding your own business except ….. just how do you get punched by a monkey ?????

    Say something insulting like, “Yo mama works for an organ grinder.”

    • #9
  10. Arahant Member
    Arahant
    @Arahant

    This guy might take the cake, though.

    • #10
  11. Arahant Member
    Arahant
    @Arahant

    Ole Summers (View Comment):

    Arahant (View Comment):

    also …. I can see how all of these can happen to you while minding your own business except ….. just how do you get punched by a monkey ?????

    Twice! The first time, he got too close to one in Brasil. The second time, his wife locked him in a cage with a small monkey as a joke. (He wasn’t laughing.) The monkey jumped on his head, took away his keys, and beat him with his own keys.

    • #11
  12. The Reticulator Member
    The Reticulator
    @TheReticulator

    Arahant (View Comment):

    This guy might take the cake, though.

    Hah.

    From the article:

    What do you think? Is this the unluckiest guy ever?

    No, the unluckiest guy ever was Barack Obama.  James Taranto’s Best of the Web had a regular section about it, titled “Why do bad things keep happening to him?”  

     

    • #12
  13. Vance Richards Member
    Vance Richards
    @VanceRichards

    In the past I heard it explained that when a Great White bites you, it is not so much an attack but an exploratory bite. See, they don’t want to kill you, they just want to rip you open and see how the insides taste (and if you taste good, then they’ll eat you). Sort of like when you go through a box of chocolates taking little nibbles to see what is on the inside.

    • #13
  14. Mark Alexander Coolidge
    Mark Alexander
    @MarkAlexander

    Even the name “shark” has unfair mob connotations. Let’s propose a fair name for them: Sea-pruners, for example.

    • #14
  15. Stad Coolidge
    Stad
    @Stad

    Arahant (View Comment):
    The second time, his wife locked him in a cage with a small monkey as a joke.

    How did she get him to go into the cage in the first place?  I need to know in case my wife tries it on me . . .

    • #15
  16. EHerring Coolidge
    EHerring
    @EHerring

    I met an Air Force person who lost everything when Mt. Pinatabo blew, destroying our AF base, was in San Francisco airport when the earthquake hit, and was stationed at Homestead AFB when Andrew hit.

    • #16
  17. Arahant Member
    Arahant
    @Arahant

    Stad (View Comment):

    Arahant (View Comment):
    The second time, his wife locked him in a cage with a small monkey as a joke.

    How did she get him to go into the cage in the first place? I need to know in case my wife tries it on me . . .

    She’s gonna need a bigger monkey for you.

    • #17
  18. Arahant Member
    Arahant
    @Arahant

    EHerring (View Comment):

    I met an Air Force person who lost everything when Mt. Pinatabo blew, destroying our AF base, was in San Francisco airport when the earthquake hit, and was stationed at Homestead AFB when Andrew hit.

    Another one where I’d be saying, “Don’t stand so close, there, pal.”

    • #18
  19. Charlotte Member
    Charlotte
    @Charlotte

    Stad: interspecies dining

    Nice.

    • #19
  20. Cow Girl Thatcher
    Cow Girl
    @CowGirl

    That is totally awesome!! “Unfairly stigmatized”…Sharks are getting their feelings hurt!!  I suppose that next we will be told that we mustn’t talk about grizzly bears as aggressors either, in the Rocky Mountains. They are just “interacting” when they pluck you from a tent in the night and eat you!

    • #20
  21. Cow Girl Thatcher
    Cow Girl
    @CowGirl

    EHerring (View Comment):

    I met an Air Force person who lost everything when Mt. Pinatabo blew, destroying our AF base, was in San Francisco airport when the earthquake hit, and was stationed at Homestead AFB when Andrew hit.

    Did the Air Force ask him to please join some other branch of the service, so they wouldn’t keep losing bases due his presence??

    • #21
  22. Mark Alexander Coolidge
    Mark Alexander
    @MarkAlexander

    Mark Alexander (View Comment):

    Even the name “shark” has unfair mob connotations. Let’s propose a fair name for them: Sea-pruners, for example.

    Wait. That doesn’t have enough syllables to be truly fair. How about “diverse ocean guardian spirits”?

    • #22
  23. Arahant Member
    Arahant
    @Arahant

    Cow Girl (View Comment):

    That is totally awesome!! “Unfairly stigmatized”…Sharks are getting their feelings hurt!! I suppose that next we will be told that we mustn’t talk about grizzly bears as aggressors either, in the Rocky Mountains. They are just “interacting” when they pluck you from a tent in the night and eat you!

    “These burrito wrappers really suck. Whatever happened to flour tortillas?” a grizzly bear.

    • #23
  24. CACrabtree Coolidge
    CACrabtree
    @CACrabtree

    EHerring (View Comment):

    I met an Air Force person who lost everything when Mt. Pinatabo blew, destroying our AF base, was in San Francisco airport when the earthquake hit, and was stationed at Homestead AFB when Andrew hit.

    Definitely not a guy I would want as a seatmate on a long C-130 ride.

    • #24
  25. Sisyphus Member
    Sisyphus
    @Sisyphus

    Ole Summers (View Comment):

    Arahant (View Comment):

    know its an old joke , but……… and his name is Lucky right?

    Posthumously named the new spokesperson for Lucky Strikes.

    • #25
  26. Sisyphus Member
    Sisyphus
    @Sisyphus

    Ole Summers (View Comment):

    Arahant (View Comment):

    also …. I can see how all of these can happen to you while minding your own business except ….. just how do you get punched by a monkey ?????

    Ask his date if she’d like to try a real man.

    • #26
  27. Clifford A. Brown Contributor
    Clifford A. Brown
    @CliffordBrown

    Cow Girl (View Comment):

    next we will be told that we mustn’t talk about grizzly bears as aggressors either, in the Rocky Mountains. They are just “interacting” when they pluck you from a tent in the night and eat you!

    There you go, unfairly stigmatizing bears of a particular shade of brown. “Grizzly” sounds like “grisly.” We should affirm them as North American brown bears.

    • #27
  28. Arahant Member
    Arahant
    @Arahant

    Clifford A. Brown (View Comment):
    There you go, unfairly stigmatizing bears of a particular shade of brown. “Grizzly” sounds like “grisly.” We should affirm them as North American brown bears.

    But grizzly means gray or graying.

    • #28
  29. Jimmy Carter Member
    Jimmy Carter
    @JimmyCarter

    Ole Summers (View Comment):
    just how do you get punched by a monkey ?????

    First step…. don’t give a monkey “the bird:”

     

    • #29
  30. CarolJoy, Not So Easy To Kill Coolidge
    CarolJoy, Not So Easy To Kill
    @CarolJoy

    Arahant (View Comment):

    This guy might take the cake, though.

    I suspect if he took the cake, he’d find out it had been poisoned!

    • #30