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Who’s on Your Airing of Grievances List?
Today is Christmas Eve eve, which means it’s time to enjoy Frank Costanza’s Festivus, an annual tradition when we participate in the “Airing of Grievances.” This is a special day to skewer those deserving of our ire.
Many folks are on my list, from politicians, journalists and celebrities to my neighbor upwind of me who partakes in the “herb.”
I will start the list with Terry Fine. Terry is a professor at University of Central Florida who wrote an article suggesting Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, or even Happy Holidays is “exclusionary.” Instead, Terry wants us to greet each other with “Happy Federal Holiday.” Because guv’ment is our true religion, amirite?
I would suggest that we take a new approach that observes “the holidays” we all have on our calendars, no matter our religion.
My friends and I wish each other a “Happy Federal Holiday.”
Most everyone is included and no one is excluded no matter their religious beliefs or practices. The banks are closed, along with post offices, local, state and federal government offices, and state institutions such as UCF. As long as we live in the United States, these federal and state holidays impact us equally so we might as well celebrate them equally, too.
Obviously the force stupid is strong with this one. If Terry was just some random blogger, it would be laughable. However, the fact she is a political science professor molding the minds of Orlando’s yutes distinguishes her to be on my list of people worthy of grievances.
Imagine the carols sung at Professor Fines annual Federal Holiday party:
Good tidings we bring
To you and any non-gender specific thing,
We wish you a Happy Federal Holiday
And a Happy New Anytime You Wish to Be in this Space/Time Continuum
Merry Christmas Terry!
What/who are on your airing of grievances?
Published in General
Bicyclists in Santa Monica who ignore stop signs & red lights.
I used to wish my wife “Happy Federal Holiday” on those days I got to stay home and she trudged off to work. I don’t think she thought it was very inclusive.
I have to decline the offer to air grievances. I have many of course, and they’re almost all pathetic, yet at times I feel them mightily. Not today though, for whatever mystical reason I’m feeling up and would like to stay there for a few moments.
But, please, don’t hesitate on my account (I love this kind of stuff!).
I can’t stand when ads for companies change the words to Christmas songs touting their product, for one thing.
In that Gif, I swear Rob Long is in the background wearing a curly wig.
We had a rare “family movie night” the other day. My kids, aged 5-16, all watched The Sound of Music sing-along version thanks the support of commercial sponsors.
What kind of a dirtbag do you have to be to run commercials promoting homosexuality, child rape (promo for an upcoming TV show), and fornication (promo for “The Bachelor” in which the contestant invites the bachelor to “pollinate her” during their introduction)?
So, I guess my grievance is with the world that decided that there will no longer be any places in America where children can be innocent, not even The Sound of Music during Advent!
The cold, uncaring meaninglessness of the Universe.
It owes me.
In our community, people can drive cars or golf carts on our streets. And if someone is driving a golf cart, he/she goes 5 mph or waves you around so that you can come home with a ticket for crossing the double yellow line. AAarrrrrggggghhhh!!!
People complaining about the content of posts.
People complaining about people complaining about the content of posts.
People complaining about people complaining about people complaining about the content of posts.
… And Canadians.
The entire GOP. Every last bit of it.
Coworkers who borrow pens, markers, knives, and tape from a desk and don’t put them back.
Even more than all the wannabe Lance Armstrongs in my neighborhood, my number one pick has to be: lawn blowers.Why can’t the EPA help a girl out and go after “noise” polluters?
And, regardless of anyone’s religion, may I wish you all a Joyeux Noël!
People who turn every–every–conversation to politics. Just…stawwp. Step outside. Breathe free. Get a life.
If your hope lies in Washington, DC, I am so sorry for you. But also you should know that you annoy the aitch-ee-double-toothpicks outta me.
People who drive slow in the fast lane.
Better yet, Mike, the ones who dart out remarkably quickly to cut you off and then ease into 55 mph. Grrrr!
People who think the universe should be warm, caring and meaningful. And Canadians.
Discrimination against those of us without significant means, thus limiting our grievances to only 250 words.
NYC tourists on sidewalks who walk slowly or stop on the busiest, most crowded pedestrian highways in midtown. Folks, you wouldn’t stop or creep along on the interstate at 5 MPH, would you?
Donald Trump
Umbra stole mine.
I feel deeply aggrieved at people who don’t agree with me on all things. I have offered myself out as a free national resource and have been rejected.
Sigh!
People in the grocery store Who shake the salad dressing. Almost everyone grabs the dressing, shakes it, then puts it in the basket. I watch ’em. They ain’t looking at the contents or anything. They just grab, shake, place. It’s not as if They’re about to use it. It’s some ridiculous, conditioned, reflex when it comes to those bottles. It annoys Me to no end.
And Canadians.
I dream of mounting a grenade launcher on my front bumper.
Boring.
Television commercials that invite you to go to the Internet to watch the rest of the commercial.
Television commercials which are two or more decibels louder than the program you’re watching.
-Prescription drug companies advertising directly to the public. They have pleasant music and laughing people, and then at the end in a rushed whisper they give you the horrible side effects: “halitosisstrokeheartattackinstantdeath may occur”
-people who don’t know how to turn left at a green light. They stay behind the line and wait until it turns red, and nobody gets through. Pull out into the intersection! Ya dork.
and Barbara took two of mine:
-saying “passed away” instead of “died.” Or “went on to glory,” “Went on to his greater reward” etc. He DIED. Same goes for saying “chauffeur” instead of “driver.”
-Overuse of “literally.” I knew a woman who always used to say “I was literally beside myself” haha
I’m sorta with Professor Terry Fine, because I’m always happy when the Feds take a holiday, though of course we can’t really mix religion and government, nothing holy about the Feds (I mean, really!) so how about “Happy Federal Leave Day?” Still that might bother people who have to work that day, like people who take care of the sick or wait tables or fight fires. Gosh this is hard.