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We’ll Deserve Their Judgment
I’m working out of a coffee shop today — something I absolutely hate for all the reasons Rob cites here. Unfortunately, my recent change of scenery — a move from the Los Angeles exurbs to the wooded outskirts of Nashville —carries with it certain liabilities, among which is the tendency of all my household technology — internet, phones, television, cell service — to go down simultaneously. Also, hand-to-hand combat with bears … but that’s a different post.
Having no connection to the outside world — something I’d consider a luxury on a non-working day — I had to make the pilgrimage to Starbucks, the venue of choice for writers who want to be seen publicly straining to the point of herniation. Did I find motivation? Well, after a fashion. This is what was printed on the sleeve around my coffee cup:
The thought that inspired: someday, when we’ve managed to wipe Western civilization from the face of the earth (current estimate: next March), some enterprising anthropologist will find one of these things and reach two conclusions: (1) We worshipped a god named Oprah and (2) We were idiots.
He will be correct.
Published in General
Could have been worse…could have been an insightful quote from Al Sharpton, to wit:
“…hand-to-hand combat with bears”…?
That gave me paws. Personally, bears and I get along.
Two things from Rob’s article that strike me as funny (though not as funny as this piece):
“They’re sitting there, waiting for something to occur to them.”
And the fact that he needs to meet with his accountant to know he’s running out of money.
I already know what sparks the light in me: jalapeno peppers.
[crass joke about me illuminating the world omitted]
You look nothing like Jimmy Stewart. And who’s that guy in the floral shirt supposed to be?
The other side of that sleeve should read:
Caffeine helps maintain my sunny outlook. — Troy Senik
“What sparks the light out of you is electricity, and it’s not as simple as plugging your lamp in.”
— C. U. Douglas
I don’t know. I’m the one in the bear costume. But I do a mean Jimmy Stewart imitation.
Caffeine helps maintain my sunny outlook, especially after I’ve dispatched an ornery bear or two. — Troy Senik
One out of every hundred of those sleeves says, “You get a car!”
Oprah almost does represent a religion, but in our modern times we’ve embraced the most shallow of any philosophies. Most philosophers recognized that difficulty, pain, and struggle were to be embraced, overcome, or both. Modern pop-philosophy is filled with self-affirming aphorisms that challenge little and address nothing of suffering. As children mature to adults, they must learn that joy and happiness are not constants of life, but are met through trial. Today we want to remain children and pretend that such trials are an aberration to life. We are lesser for it.
Whoa, Dude…have a cup of coffee…and always look on the bright side of life (whistle here).
Welcome to middle-southern america troy. You’ll discover, i predict, more than a dollop of tube top & peroxide mega churchy mediocrity to top off the oprahfied latte.
Troy – You really must be in the boonies. The power outtages in Williamson County were SOP 20 years ago – but now they only happen when a construction crew cuts a line by mistake. (Happens more often than it should.)
Anyhow – welcome back to Nashville. The next time you find yourself working at Starbucks, let me know. I’d be happy to drop by and make fun of you for being the guy trying to write at Starbucks.
Me? I never write at Starbucks. The piano is too heavy to haul inside the store.
The girl with a pearl knows her dollops.
That’s why I stopped hauling my Hammond B3 CheeseMaster around everywhere.
Let’s face it: It’s not Oprah’s fault she’s peddling pablum so effectively. Remember that millions of Americans sat on their cans to watch that crap every single day.
Every. Single. Day.
Her rise on the backs of mediocre loads who couldn’t possibly fathom the idea that they might, they just might, have an actual life if they get up and go get one, is irony of the highest order.
Or lowest. Plus, a free car. That her platitudes are slapped on the back of a massively-marketed mediocre coffee product demonstrates the thin veneer of cheap plastic that is too much part of the warp and weave of our cultural fabric.
Which might be a fancy way of saying, as Troy does, that we’re all idiots. I’d rather throw rocks at an obelisk. Or fresh scat.
Troy and his giraffe in disguise . . .
Off-topic (as usual) but where the heck are you living in Nashville where one must resort to a Starbucks to get WiFi and Comcast? I assumed you were residing in Belle Meade!
Oprah made Obama a millionaire by endorsing his book on her show and set him on the path to the presidency by endorsing his candidacy in the primary. To anybody on this site, she is a wrathful god.
It was a Fender Rhodes 73-key suitcase model for me. Before that a drum set. Being a writer means not having to haul all that stuff around any more.
But Lordy, nothing is as cool as a B3 with a Leslie in a soul band.
Exactly. I hear they’ve even got the Internet all the way down in Thompson’s Station.
So you’re saying Oprah endorsed a guy who may or may not have written his own book, and may or may not have gotten all his “facts” straight?
That Chicago machine is well-oiled.
I joke more than a little here, because while I can identify the Cheesemaster, I cannot play it. Drums a little. It’s singing that’s the easy part – nothing to carry but a tune.
Hey, doesn’t the inventor of the Internet live near you, Troy? I’d have a word with him about the spotty coverage.
Yeah, 10,000 square foot homes can disrupt the grid.