You Know Your Government's Too Big When...
With so many erudite, high-minded and elegantly dressed commentators on the Ricochet team, it often falls to me to provide a low, sleazy and completely unacceptable look at the news. Fortunately, this comes naturally to me. For instance, I'm in Washington DC now and I can't help noticing: the women here are incredibly hot! This didn't used to be the case. After a couple of weeks in New York or LA, you used to be able to drop into DC for a few days in order to regain your ability to concentrate. No more. We don't need an evolutionary biologist to make up a completely unscientific reason for this, as a licensed fiction writer, I'm perfectly capable of making up my own. Government has become too rich and powerful. What are technically known as babes used to flock to New York and LA because that's where all the money and glamor were. What the heck are the money and glamor doing in Washington DC? If I were a liberal, I would suggest new regulations limiting the amount of beautifulness a woman could possess within the confines of our nation's capital. As a free market libertarian something-or-other, I feel we only need to cut the size of government and the problem will take care of itself. Unfortunately, given the romantic predilictions of certain of our GOP House leadership, this may be more difficult than it seems.
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Oct '10
Re: You Know Your Government's Too Big When...
We don't need an evolutionary biologist to make up a completely unscientific reason for this
That's a hilarious line!
Nov '10
Re: You Know Your Government's Too Big When...
Funny, Andrew: DC had a crisis of fashion consciousness back in the 80s when someone wrote an article in the WaPo about how frumpy DC women were. The writer reserved his/her purplest prose for the sensible shoes that DC women famously wore from home to the Metro to the office. Any other DCers remember that? The writer was flayed alive, of course, but a lot of DC women took off those sensible shoes and learned to hoof it from home to the office via the Metro in their stilettos. From that time on, this area has been more fashion forward, I think, and area women more "put together."
And no doubt many of them followed the money!
May '10
Re: You Know Your Government's Too Big When...
Some of this probably due to the unfortunate inbreeding that has occurred between politicians and media types.
Jul '10
Re: You Know Your Government's Too Big When...
A new metric for the measure of government expansion: Hot Babes per square mile. I can see it now: density maps, poisson distributions, trend analyses!
Somebody get Heritage on this! Stat!
Jul '10
Re: You Know Your Government's Too Big When...
I think that's the reason Helen Thomas was fired.
Aug '10
Re: You Know Your Government's Too Big When...
There's so much money flowing through the halls of power that it's spilling over into the streets and out into the neighborhoods. But Andrew, most of them are high-priced hookers and gold diggers from eastern Europe and elsewhere, I'll wager.
Here's a solution though: Congress should declare all-out 'War on Hot Women'. Every time they declare 'war' on something, it becomes more plentiful and prevalent.
Jul '10
Re: You Know Your Government's Too Big When...
Oh, when I lived in DC I used to welcome the beginning of summer, when the new flock of interns descended upon Capitol Hill.
Jun '10
Re: You Know Your Government's Too Big When...
The title of this post would make a fantastic open thread. In homage to Jeff Foxworthy's 'You Might Be a Redneck if. . .' comedy routine: run a thread entitled, Your Government is Too Big when. . .', and let the fun begin.
Your government is too big when. . . Nancy Pelosi serves in congress.
Jul '10
Re: You Know Your Government's Too Big When...
You know Your government is too big when.... trillion is in their lexicon.
Aug '10
Re: You Know Your Government's Too Big When...
The mass influx of babes to D.C. mark the end of an era. Like the era of the election cycle Pat recently declared over, gone are the days of politics as show-biz for ugly people.
Picking a GOP canidate was once very easy: it's his turn, he being an old white guy in a blue suit.
Now we have a vibrant cohort of sexy-librarian types in snazzy red coats, and Rubio for the ladies.
So I propose we adopt the Barney Stinson Hot/Crazy scale to avoid again losing a shot at control of the Senate to some future Sophie's Choice of RINO vs Iffy Hottie.
See: http://tinyurl.com/yjav2ao (a clean YouTube clip) for a 30 second summation of both the Hot/Crazy scale and the Debacle in Delaware.
Simply put: Christine O'Donnell fell below the Mendoza Line.
Feel free to shoot the messenger, but forewarned is forearmed.
May '10
Re: You Know Your Government's Too Big When...
And this is why Sarah Palin is destined for DC.
Aug '10
Re: You Know Your Government's Too Big When...
Amen to that. I do not yet believe Sarah Palin is qualified to be President, but I love the way she sets off the Left!
That big speech she gave at the convention was an epochal moment: she roused the Kraken and she did it with style.
The sound we heard from them after her big night is what Kipling called the pheeal:
a hideous kind of shriek... If you can imagine a mixture of hate, triumph, fear, and despair, with a kind of lear running through it, you wll get some notion of the pheeal that rose...
I can't tell Steve Romney from Mitt Perry, but no one can miss a smoking-hot mother of five with a train of shrieking banshees hard on her heels. More (but not all) power to her.
And with respect the scale,in her case, the horizontal axis should be labled ready, not crazy.
May '10
Re: You Know Your Government's Too Big When...
If by not qualified, you mean has too high negatives which she'll never be able to erase, I agree. But as an elegantly-dressed, cocktail-swilling RINO squish, this new PG-13 (but not too much) vibe is pretty cool.
If you've ever been in the office of a Congressional leader, man, oh, man. It's like Don Draper making personnel decisions.
Jun '10
Re: You Know Your Government's Too Big When...
"With so many erudite, high-minded and elegantly dressed commentators on the Ricochet team, it often falls to me to provide a low, sleazy and completely unacceptable look at the news. Fortunately, this comes naturally to me."
Wait a minute there, Andrew. I have had the honor of two or three comments deleted. And, yes, I love the sight of beautiful women as well.
'
Oct '10
Re: You Know Your Government's Too Big When...
Thank you, Bill Clinton.
Aug '10
Re: You Know Your Government's Too Big When...
Would it be specified in millihelens? A millihelen is the amount of beauty needed launch a single ship.
Sep '10
Re: You Know Your Government's Too Big When...
Paul DeRocco
Would it be specified in millihelens? A millihelen is the amount of beauty needed launch a single ship. · Nov 10 at 4:54pm
The millihillary is the amount of government regulation needed to get the single ship out of dry dock and avoid being boarded by the Justice Department.
Re: You Know Your Government's Too Big When...
I finally know why Silicon Valley in the Age of Obama looks so different.