Worst. Song. Ever.
Andrew Klavan ·
Mar 16, 2011 at 7:36am
Cole Porter lived in this country once. So did Irving Berlin. And I'll be honest and say that I believe, when the rubble of what was once our civilization is unearthed by future generations (next Thursday, by my best guess), their archeologists will discover that American music peaked somewhere between 1930 and 1950. And while decline in all things is inevitable, the present fact of it is always heart-wrenching. To wit, this video, which has racked up a million (albeit largely ironic) new hits every time I look at it in stunned and disconsolate wonder. Now, there seems to me some small chance this is some sort of hoax. Let's hope so for the sake of America's youth. But if not, listen to the lyrics, o ye mighty, and despair...
- Comment (71)
- · Quote
- · UnfollowFollow (3)
Comments :
Mar '11
Re: Worst. Song. Ever.
Karen Carpenter, she ain't.
I prefer the video of the lovely Chinese girl, who has no fingers on her right hand, playing the piano so beautifully.
I also prefer Ritchie Blackmore burning arpeggios into his Strat's fretboard, so there you go.
Nov '10
Re: Worst. Song. Ever.
Brian Watt
HalifaxCB
That's not the fault of the music, that a problem of confirmation bias. We tend to remember the best of what was, and compare it to the worst of what is, usually looking more or less for validation. It's the wrong way to approach the problem. If you have intelligent, self-directed young people in your life, ask them to play for you what they they listen to. You'll often be pleasantly surprised - both in the new music, and in the breadth of their musical tastes (which were much greater than those of an average teen 50 years ago). · Mar 16 at 9:06am
Well, the self-directed young people I know are blown away by Abbey Road (particularly Side B), Dark Side of the Moon, The Wall...
I haven't been terribly impressed by any of the new "artists". Perhaps you can recommend something. Impress me.
Try some of Lance's posts over on the member feed.
Jul '10
Re: Worst. Song. Ever.
I'd warrant that the ratio of musical gems to musical duds, taken as a whole, remains the same. There was just less available distribution in the old days, and that lack of outlet acted as a filter to keep the cruddy music out. Today, it is incredibly easy to release any old thing and if it has a slightly interesting tidbit get a half a million views online.
I wouldn't take music like this to imply that good music isn't being written anymore.
Oct '10
Re: Worst. Song. Ever.
The real problem is that we've Done Got Old
Nov '10
Re: Worst. Song. Ever.
All of my favorite composers died before the end of the 19th century.
Oct '10
Re: Worst. Song. Ever.
I came of age during the hair-metal 80's; say what you will about how vapid a lot of that music was (and a lot of it was, indeed vapid) but at least those bands had drugs as an excuse for their musical transgressions. I mean real drugs. And whiskey.
This... this is what happens when you give kids Ritalin.
I don't know exactly what my point was but I'm pretty sure I had one.
Re: Worst. Song. Ever.
Videos like that make me glad Beavis and Butthead are coming back.
Andrew's right about American songwriting peaking, although I'd push the terminus date back a few years. What gets lost in the endless salutes to the transformative power of rock is the way it pushed down the age to which the listener was encouraged to aspire. You're a teen, listening to some Anita O'Day, you want to be a grown-up. Rock made you want to be an adolescent forever. Or at least an adult who behaved like an adolescent.
(I say this as someone who was in a band a few years ago for about 3 weeks, and had the time of my life. Thanks to the transformative power of rock! Whatever that means.)
May '10
Re: Worst. Song. Ever.
Brian Sharkey:
Young people today are exposed to a wonderful variety of music and they have learned to wade into it and find what they like. They aren't limited to a few radio stations spoon feeding them with the latest chosen songs.
I've long had the impression that musical tastes are increasingly eclectic. It's rare to find someone under 30 today who doesn't enjoy a variety of genres.
Brian Watt
My point is that, on the whole, during the 60s, 70s and into the 80s there were many very groups that experiment and explored new territory and didn't just settle for the same beat, style, rhythm.
Music publishers have certainly had an influence on the variety one hears on the radio, but there's still plenty of experimentation.
In fact, I'd say there's too much. There are too many musicians more concerned with doing something new than doing something good. Hatred of anything mainstream drives me up the wall.
Speaking of bad music, I wonder how many of you are familiar with The Presidents of the United States of America. You've got to love good musicians who don't take music seriously.
Mar '11
Re: Worst. Song. Ever.
I've spent a decent chunk of my life as a semi-pro musician playing in classic rock/country cover bands, and a few original bands. Truth is, the song doesn't need to be great to get a drunk to dance, and I've made a lot of money from making drunks dance, but I would never, ever play this "Friday" thing no matter who requested it, or how much they stuffed in the tip jar.
Edited on Mar 16, 2011 at 11:54amMay '10
Re: Worst. Song. Ever.
That Temple of the Dog song I linked to earlier was the wrong example of Chris Cornell's lyrical ability. Here are the lyrics to "4th of July":
shower in a dark day
clean sparks diving down
cool in the waterway
where the baptized drown
naked in the cold sun
breathing life like fire
I thought I was the only one
but that was just a lie
I heard it in the wind
and I saw it in the sky
I thought it was the end
I thought it was the 4th of July
pale in the flare light
the scared light cracks and disappears
and leaves the scorched ones here
and everywhere no one cares the fire is spreading
and no one wants to speak about it
down in the hole, Jesus tries to crack a smile
beneath another shovel-load
(refrain)
now I'm in control
now I'm in the fallout
once asleep, but now I stand
and I still remember your sweet everything
light a Roman Candle and hold it in your hand
(refrain)
May '10
Re: Worst. Song. Ever.
The idea that late 60s and 70s rock embodied the decline in 20th century music is nonsense.
I'll post a playlist of songs on my Evo on the member feed in the future.
Jun '10
Re: Worst. Song. Ever.
Andrew: I'm willing to concede that this song is in the Top 5 of all-time worst songs. But, and I'm ashamed to say that I actually have vinyl version of this song (somewhere in my basement), but nothing holds the candle for vapidity to "Afternoon Delight" by the Starland Vocal Band.
Re: Worst. Song. Ever.
She's clearly just learned English. I think this is an excellent song for people who are new to this country, and new to the English language. It recites the days of the week, makes plentiful use of directional information -- "Front seat, back seat" -- and teaches new vocabulary through repetition: "Friday Friday Friday Fun Fun Fun Fun."
Why do you hate immigrants, Klavan? Why do you hate non-English speakers?
Jun '10
Re: Worst. Song. Ever.
Classic!
...as it were...
Jul '10
Re: Worst. Song. Ever.
What I love about the video is how very, very pleased this talentless little tart is with herself.
She's the poster child for the self-esteem movement.
Dec '10
Re: Worst. Song. Ever.
Aaron Miller
Hey now, lay off my grunge! I'll grant you that the bands inspired by Nirvana did their best to ruin rock entirely. But there were other grunge bands who knew their instruments and wrote decent lyrics. · Mar 16 at 8:30am
Indeed, sir.
Anyone who thinks modern hard rock has nothing to offer should listen to the above linked and Three Days Grace - The Good Life and report back.
Bubblegum rock and pop will always be vacuous and unintelligible, that's almost the point, which is why I don't listen to it.
Go have a listen at Buzz.fm for a while and see if you still think all modern music sucks.
Mar '11
Re: Worst. Song. Ever.
Blue Yeti: I'm partial to Bob Dylan's cover version: · Mar 16 at 8:47am
Wow! Dylan covered this in a hurry. I guess he's trying to capitalize on the craze. I like the retro 45 artwork.
Jun '10
Re: Worst. Song. Ever.
Kenneth: What I love about the video is how very, very pleased this talentless little tart is with herself.
She's the poster child for the self-esteem movement. · Mar 16 at 12:50pm
All hail, the Snark Master. You know I try to keep up, I really do...I drink coffee in the morning and then out of the blue - ZING! POW! ZAP! - the indomitable Kenneth appears. I am so not worthy.
Nov '10
Re: Worst. Song. Ever.
Rob Long: She's clearly just learned English. I think this is an excellent song for people who are new to this country, and new to the English language. It recites the days of the week, makes plentiful use of directional information -- "Front seat, back seat" -- and teaches new vocabulary through repetition: "Friday Friday Friday Fun Fun Fun Fun."
Why do you hate immigrants, Klavan? Why do you hate non-English speakers? · Mar 16 at 12:41pm
I LOLed
Jan '11
Re: Worst. Song. Ever.
Catchy toon. Need folks to wash cars too.