Worst. Song. Ever.
Andrew Klavan ·
Mar 16, 2011 at 7:36am
Cole Porter lived in this country once. So did Irving Berlin. And I'll be honest and say that I believe, when the rubble of what was once our civilization is unearthed by future generations (next Thursday, by my best guess), their archeologists will discover that American music peaked somewhere between 1930 and 1950. And while decline in all things is inevitable, the present fact of it is always heart-wrenching. To wit, this video, which has racked up a million (albeit largely ironic) new hits every time I look at it in stunned and disconsolate wonder. Now, there seems to me some small chance this is some sort of hoax. Let's hope so for the sake of America's youth. But if not, listen to the lyrics, o ye mighty, and despair...
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Comments :
Re: Worst. Song. Ever.
Genuinely boring.
Jan '11
Re: Worst. Song. Ever.
"Sitting in the front seat. Sitting in the back seat."
And Jesus wept.
Dec '10
Re: Worst. Song. Ever.
Teckno-pop, rap and crappy lyrics. Jesus may be weeping but I'm setting my hair on fire.
Jun '10
Re: Worst. Song. Ever.
Parents really need to check the medicine cabinet more often, and see what's missing from the pill bottles.
Nov '10
Re: Worst. Song. Ever.
Geez, what a bunch of old cranks. Weren't you ever young, stupid, hormonal, and just happy to be alive? Of course I grew up with such intellectual splendor as "do the mashed potato"....
Sep '10
Re: Worst. Song. Ever.
I disagree, music hit it's peak in the 80's. The grunge rock fad in the 90's, along with the boy bands ended all decent music.
I canceled my Sirius satellite contract last year, and I've noticed local radio stations rely heavily on 20-30 year old songs in their rotation. Even country stations. That's why these bands, with their now 60 year old lead singers are still raking in millions. They have little to no competition. Kids today still know the songs of Van Halen, Genesis, Bon Jovi - the bands their parents grew up with.
This electro-fake garbage that's coming out today sounds hip and cool, but doesn't have any staying power whatsoever.
May '10
Re: Worst. Song. Ever.
I can feel good that my generation produced Tiffany now. Those were some feeble fist pumps.
Youtube is to blame for this, really. Moderately cute girls put up "vlogs" chronicling their deep thoughts and attract a six-digit fan base (composed mainly of middle-aged guys, one suspects).
But it fails to teach them the hard work necessary to create a compelling dramatic narrative. The only real suspense (which seat will she take?*) was resolved in the first act, leaving the only remaining question: who is this black guy, anyway?
*SPOILER ALERT: the back seat
Dec '10
Re: Worst. Song. Ever.
True, but I'd like to think our music had a bit more flash to it. This monotone rap has no snap-crackle-or pop to it. In this case I'll plead guilty to being a curmudgeon and quickly retreat to Cas' music videos of Natalie he posted earlier today.
May '10
Re: Worst. Song. Ever.
Makes me miss the emotional depth and lyrical complexity of The Archies.
Nov '10
Re: Worst. Song. Ever.
I agree that this is mind numbingly boring but it passes through the brain without sticking, but who can forget the pop drivel of 'Windy'. Try to get those lyrics out of your brain once they lodge themselves. There is an antidote ... hum ... however badly ... something from Vivaldi's Four Seasons. Works every time.
Nov '10
Re: Worst. Song. Ever.
What's all the fuss about? Pretty good song, I thought.
Re: Worst. Song. Ever.
Unlistenable. I only made it through 30 or 40 seconds. Does that mean I pass?
Aug '10
Re: Worst. Song. Ever.
Andrew
If you could provide me a new Homelanders book every week, I could keep my 14 yr old reading. But alas, it's another day of facebook and crappy music while they crowd the bathroom fixing their hair.
She pays more attention to a new book from you than Justin Bieber. Nice to see some literate aspirations. Or as Ledeen would say if he were Bennett Cerf, Faster please !
May '10
Re: Worst. Song. Ever.
Hey now, lay off my grunge! I'll grant you that the bands inspired by Nirvana did their best to ruin rock entirely. But there were other grunge bands who knew their instruments and wrote decent lyrics.
Jul '10
Re: Worst. Song. Ever.
With apologies to Carnak:
Vapid, vacuous, banal, jejune.
Name four words that describe today's youth culture and which they couldn't define if you asked them to do so.
Edited on Mar 16, 2011 at 8:38amJun '10
Re: Worst. Song. Ever.
Andrew, my 14 year old son insisted I watch this a few days ago. He & all his friends watch it incessantly because, "It's the worst video EVER!" Rest assured that most of those million hits are ironic.
The girl can't sing, the song is idiotic, and the video lacks productiona values to say the least. And she's not very attractive, either, so you can't assume it's just guys clicking on to check her (and her dowdy friends) out.
There is plenty of fabulous music being composed today. Don't despair.
Nov '10
Re: Worst. Song. Ever.
And let's not forget the profound depth attained by artists in the 60's, like the 1910 Fruitgum Company. Such profound lyrics, the complexity of well played traditional instruments, the haunting melodies and harmonies. And the rich vibrancy of the soloist voice!
Sep '10
Re: Worst. Song. Ever.
Is it wrong of me to want this video to end in a head-on car crash and a great blooming billow of fire and smoke and shrapnel?
Is it?
Jul '10
Re: Worst. Song. Ever.
There are still great songs with depth and emotional heft being written, but you're not going to find them in the pop genre by and large.
May '10
Re: Worst. Song. Ever.
This song reminds me of a song my 5 year old has learned in Kindergarten about the days of the week. At least in his version, they also learn the backwards days of the week, too!