Why I'm Leaving Public Education
The following conversation occurred today in my classroom. I'm transcribing the event from memory. Even if the words are not exact, the sentiment behind the conversation is accurate.
Kid: "What's your first name, Mr. Paules?"
Me: "'Mister', and don't you forget it."
Kid: "But we call all of our teachers by their first names."
Me: "That practice infers that teachers and students are peers. You are not my peers."
Kid: "You're arrogant. What gives you the right to think you're better than us (sic)?"
Me: "It's not a matter of being better. Before God we are all equal. But in this classroom I have the power of in loco parentis granted me by the State of New Mexico. For you Spanish speakers that doesn't mean 'my parents are crazy.' It means that I hold the same degree of authority in school as your parents do when you're home."
Kid: "Don't you think a school should be run like a family."
Me: "I do not. Education is a serious and formal business. That's why I wear a jacket and tie to school."
True story. Attitude is everything. And my attitude has gone south after nine years in the biz. Time to move on. What a pity.
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Comments :
Jul '10
Re: Why I'm Leaving Public Education
Best of luck.
If the kid was in my family for a week he would be thankful school is run otherwise.
Re: Why I'm Leaving Public Education
The Logo can't recall ever calling a teacher anything other than Miss, Mrs., Mr., or Professor -- all the way through grad school in the late 1980s.
Times, it seems, have changed.
Jun '10
Re: Why I'm Leaving Public Education
Are you wed to New Mexico? We have some great private schools out here.
Oct '10
Re: Why I'm Leaving Public Education
Exactly.
May '10
Re: Why I'm Leaving Public Education
Their loss, Paules. And here's a LIKE for your post.
Aug '10
Re: Why I'm Leaving Public Education
Mr. ~Paules,
Perhaps it is time to give way to the next round of would-be teachers to step up and get the education of a lifetime. Thank you for your service.
Edited on Jan 27, 2011 at 9:05pmJun '10
Re: Why I'm Leaving Public Education
That's interesting. Even lefty Portland seems to require teachers to be called Mr./Mrs./Ms. Don't know what's going on down there.
I still remember in the 1970's when my friend called my dad by his first name. It took my dad about one millisecond to straighten that one out. I still chuckle over that. Still, now my friends' kids call me Mr. Molinari and boy does it feel weird.
Paules, move on to your next great thing. I look forward to the stories you'll come up with along the way.
Jan '11
Re: Why I'm Leaving Public Education
Many younger teachers allow that their students call them by their first names. I don't like the practice but to each is own. I personally put my full name on the syllabus and do not have problems with students attempting to cross that particular boundary very often. In the couple of instances when they have, I have told them that I prefer to be called "Mister" and that calling me by my first name is attempting to get a little too familiar with me.
I am curious as to whether or not you said "'Mister', and don't you forget it." in a somewhat playful manner. If you didn't then perhaps it is you that is forgetting something: these students are your also clients. I think the most important job is to have our students complete our courses with a much better grasp of the subject along with some personal growth. I just think that being too top-down authoritarian is not an effective way to cut through much of the student apathy that exists today. Do try to have some fun with it if this is to be your final semester.
May '10
Re: Why I'm Leaving Public Education
I hope you will not think I'm a mean-spirited smarty pants if I point out that:
Me: "That practice infers that teachers and students are peers."
infers should be implies.
Otherwise I agree completely.
Jun '10
Re: Why I'm Leaving Public Education
Thanks, Casey, but I'll probably just retrain for something else. I had a run of nine years in a system where the average teacher goes five. I'm at the sweet spot on my mortgage now, so I think I'll hang with my present situation.
Sep '10
Re: Why I'm Leaving Public Education
Paules, sounds like you would enjoy reading Jacques Barzun. New Mexico has an odd hippy commune vibe going on if I remember correctly, so you would be wise to avoid banging your head against the wall.
Any ideas on what you would retrain for?
Re: Why I'm Leaving Public Education
How old was this kid?
And I share The Logo's view on this, but take it maybe even further: during my college graduation week, a couple of the professors I was very close to told me that now that I was no longer a student, I should call them by their first names. I tried for a day or two--but ultimately couldn't bring myself to do it. To this day, when I e-mail or see them, I call them Professor so-and-so. They'll always be professors to me: people older and wiser, who inevitably will have something new to teach me.
Jun '10
Re: Why I'm Leaving Public Education
Good one Emily, I've experienced the same thing. I just can't do it. Some of my childhood friends' parents are suggesting I do this, too. There's just no way!
Emily Esfahani Smith, Ed. : How old was this kid?
And I share The Logo's view on this, but take it maybe even further: during my college graduation week, a couple of the professors I was very close to told me that now that I was no longer a student, I should call them by their first names. I tried for a day or two--but ultimately couldn't bring myself to do it. To this day, when I e-mail or see them, I call them Professor so-and-so. They'll always be professors to me: people older and wiser, who inevitably will have something new to teach me. · Jan 28 at 6:24am
Jun '10
Re: Why I'm Leaving Public Education
When I turned 50 my best friend's mom told me she would no longer respond if I called her Mrs. Sheehan, which I had done since childhood. I now call her by her first name, but it still feels odd. I'm fine with my kids' friends calling me by either first or last name. It is nice that they at least assume the surname should be used, but I tell them to call me whatever they prefer. I'm more interested in how they act toward me. In a school or work setting, however, I would require the surname.
Paules, that kid was a little snot. I also would hire you out here in NJ in a heartbeat. Our taxes would no doubt scare you away.
I admire you for retiring, though. Too many teachers continue on after being burned out, and they do a real disservice to their pupils.
May '10
Re: Why I'm Leaving Public Education
I was brought up to call elders and those in a position of authority Mr or Mrs (Miss, etc.) until the other person instructed you otherwise. I've instilled the same in my children.
I've noticed in our church that Mr. or Mrs. before the first name (e.g. Mr. Mike) is acceptable there.
It's really a matter of respect but as we all know, that is in short supply nowadays.
Re: Why I'm Leaving Public Education
My boyfriend of 4 years is a high school teacher. Though he is young-ish, he goes as Mr. [X] and does not tolerate when students attempt to use his first name in the classroom. Three years ago, he had my brother and his brother in his AP Statistics class, and even insisted that they call him Mr. [X] at school, even though they obviously used his first name out of school.
Dec '10
Re: Why I'm Leaving Public Education
Addict.
Jan '11
Re: Why I'm Leaving Public Education
Casey Way
Exactly. · Jan 27 at 8:28pm
You know... if my children called me by my first name? I live by the basic rule that there is no place on this earth that won't provide an opportunity for them to drop and give me 25 push ups. They've done them at home. They've done them at the store. I've even yanked them out of church services and had them do push ups there. Your response ought to consider that a school most certainly can run like a home. It all depends on how you define the term.
It's too bad you are leaving the teaching profession. I understand the burn out, but maybe you ought to reconsider.
Nov '10
Re: Why I'm Leaving Public Education
I think that Paules has poignantly summarized one very important reason for the failure of many public schools. Government can spend $10,000 - $13,000 per student on an annual basis, but if kids don't learn at home to respect their teachers, the system ultimately fails.
Throughout the K-12 progression, my parents made it indelibly clear that my teachers were the ones in charge. This respect and support for educators resulted in a first-class public education supplemented with a plethora of AP classes.
Edited on Jan 28, 2011 at 4:53pmJun '10
Re: Why I'm Leaving Public Education
I'm a couple days late, but here's hoping you continue to teach unless there are other reasons or considerations at play. What astounds me is not that the kids in question were demanding to be viewed on a level playing field with the instructor - but rather the inference that many teachers are apparently complicit with the practice.
The breakdown or erosion of traditional boundaries in matters of authority is unnerving. Perhaps those teachers that allow their students the privilege of first-name familiarity are more concerned with being liked than in serving as a proper authority figure and educator? I don't want to presume upon their motive, but it is hard to see their rationale as anything but reflective of a continued adolescence. Teachers and students are not supposed to be "friends." The boundary improves the quality of education; inappropriate familiarity reduces it.