Why Bill Walsh Never Forgets My Birthday
Because it's his birthday, too.
Happy Birthday to the smartest man alive. I pointed out that he's the smartest man alive in the acknowledgments to one of my books, by the way:
Moving right along, there’s my email friend Bill Walsh. I have never met him! But I do believe he’s the smartest man alive. Bill read the manuscript and kindly pointed out the spelling errors not only in my Turkish, Persian, Arabic, Russian, German, Hungarian, Spanish and my French, but in my English (that’s right, my own native language), my Chinese and—I kid you not!—my Kyrgyz. No lie.
Mischa says: He speaks Chinese and Kyrgyz too?
Claire says: Wild, huh?
Mischa says: That’s insane! Could he just be making it all up?
Claire says: No. Every time I check the Internet, I see he’s right. Every time. Not just most of the time, not just “you could argue it both ways,” but every time.
Mischa says: That’s super amazing. Where did he learn so much?
Claire says: Don’t know. He’s also an expert on lots of other things.
Mischa says: Like what?
Claire says: Military small arms. He was one of the many people who wrote to me about the recoil on an M16, or lack thereof, after Loose Lips came out.
Mischa says: Wow.
Claire says: So, if this were a novel, all the clues would be pointing in one and only one direction: Dude’s a spy. But as I say in the novel, no one really thinks that way.
Mischa says: You think he’s trying to recruit you?
Claire says: Why would he bother? I’m a novelist.
Mischa says: Yes, but he thinks you're a spy! Claire! What a great idea for a novel!
Claire says: Who would believe something as idiotic as that?
Mischa says: I guess you’re right. It’s totally improbable
Claire says: Totally dumb.
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Comments :
Re: Why Bill Walsh Never Forgets My Birthday
Estağfurullah, ablam.
Ridiculously kind you are. And I don’t just say that because I fear the junta. Though I do, as all should. Fear and love! Have some sütlaç and Turkish coffee for me…
Bendeniz,
May '10
Re: Why Bill Walsh Never Forgets My Birthday
Hey, I'm not dead yet. Is this a Python skit? Soon, but not yet. You can claim my title, Bill, when you can pry it out of my cold dead hands.
PS, your initial instinct was correct. Claire is a spy. For whom, we're not sure. Freelance, most likely.
Edited on May 20, 2011 at 12:00amOct '10
Re: Why Bill Walsh Never Forgets My Birthday
That's unbelievably awesome. I didn't know language savants like that really existed.
Re: Why Bill Walsh Never Forgets My Birthday
Eh, it's not like I can really speak all of them. But thanks nevertheless!
Re: Why Bill Walsh Never Forgets My Birthday
Kennedy Smith: PS, your initial instinct was correct. Claire is a spy. For whom, we're not sure. Freelance, most likely. · May 19 at 11:59pm
Edited on May 20 at 12:00 am
Ah, Mischa there is hypothesizing that I might have thought that—like a character in Lion Eyes, which everyone should buy. (Cough, cough.)
And I know all about Claire, Mr. “Smith,” if that is your real name. You’ll not wheedle the truth out of me that easily…
(And I claim no titles. Other than, you know, Lord Proprietor of Maryland and Grand Duke of Finland. But those are all tied up in the courts. I’ll let you know when you need to address me properly…)
Re: Why Bill Walsh Never Forgets My Birthday
Happy Birthday, Bill!
Re: Why Bill Walsh Never Forgets My Birthday
Happy Birthday, Bill!
Jun '10
Re: Why Bill Walsh Never Forgets My Birthday
Gratulerer med dagen.
Oct '10
Re: Why Bill Walsh Never Forgets My Birthday
Google translate lang yan, hindi ba?
Sep '10
Re: Why Bill Walsh Never Forgets My Birthday
Happy Birthday Bill, you vicarious Arrian, you!
Oct '10
Re: Why Bill Walsh Never Forgets My Birthday
Happy birthday to everyone born this day, especially Claire and Bill. Your tale of Bill's brilliance is a great lesson for all of those oh-so-smart people who want to run our lives. They're probably not as smart as Bill (or Claire). At the same time, I suspect there are many things about which Bill knows very little. Alas, Claire too. Which is why we shouldn't ask either to be plenary potentate for life.
Oct '10
Re: Why Bill Walsh Never Forgets My Birthday
"Mischa: Yes, but he thinks your a spy."
Unless this is an obscure dialect and not standard English, I think I've spotted an error that Bill missed...Wow! Does this mean I'm smarter than...
Okay, I'm changing my Ricochet moniker.
Anyway, Happy Birthday Claire and Bill.
Feb '11
Re: Why Bill Walsh Never Forgets My Birthday
Yom huledet sameach, Bill!
Re: Why Bill Walsh Never Forgets My Birthday
Severely Ltd.: "Mischa: Yes, but he thinks your a spy."
Unless this is an obscure dialect and not standard English, I think I've spotted an error that Bill missed...Wow! Does this mean I'm smarter than...
Okay, I'm changing my Ricochet moniker.
Anyway, Happy Birthday Claire and Bill. · May 20 at 6:05am
Ouch. Corrected. It was my fault, not Bill's. Or strictly speaking, my brother's fault.
Aug '10
Re: Why Bill Walsh Never Forgets My Birthday
Happy Birthday Bill!
Re: Why Bill Walsh Never Forgets My Birthday
Thanks for all the best wishes. Tak, Étoile! And, no, I have no competence whatsoever in any Subcontinental language, John—nor Hebrew, Albert. But thank you both nonetheless. Thank you, Steven.
AngloCon, I'm quite the Hayekian when it comes to the problem of knowledge…
And, thanks, Pseudo-D. Did you know that Arrian‘s Anabasis of Alexander was Mehmed the Conqueror’s favorite book?
Dec '10
Re: Why Bill Walsh Never Forgets My Birthday
Happy Birthday, Claire. Hurry home so we can issue your spanks.
Sep '10
Re: Why Bill Walsh Never Forgets My Birthday
And, thanks, Pseudo-D. Did you know that Arrian‘s Anabasis of Alexander was Mehmed the Conqueror’s favorite book?
Fascinating. And here I thought the multiple wives and alleged death by poisoning were just his attempts at originality. Bill, do you think there is a possible connection with Claire's polyamorous collection of cats? I've always thought the muay Thai indicated a yearning to conquer Asia, or at least Asian food.
Edit: Oops. I think I mean polymorphous not polyamorous. Didn't mean to impugn the motives of Claire's feline fleet. Or, maybe the cats are polyglots.
Edited on May 20, 2011 at 9:26pmRe: Why Bill Walsh Never Forgets My Birthday
Pseudo-D,
You think Claire is perhaps marshalling her feline army as a quasi-Janissary force to seize a city somewhere in Eurasia?
Let me just say that I can neither confirm nor deny.
Sep '10
Re: Why Bill Walsh Never Forgets My Birthday
Bill Walsh: Pseudo-D,
You think Claire is perhaps marshalling her feline army as a quasi-Janissary force to seize a city somewhere in Eurasia?
Let me just say that I can neither confirm nor deny. · May 21 at 12:22am
The mysterious appearance of a eunuch detective could be taken as a sign of an Auspicious event to follow.