Who Ate My Costume?
Proving life is not all about politics, The Star-Ledger of New Jersey has a warning from that state's butchers: wearing Halloween costumes made of raw meat could be hazardous to your health. An apparently famous person named Lady Gaga wore such a carnivore's delight to a recent awards show, and some of her fans may try to emulate her on October 31. By the way, if someone marries Lady Gaga, does he automatically become Lord Gaga? Perhaps I digress.
Anyway, should any of you Ricocheters plan to wear meat for Halloween, health authorities recommend that beef should be heated to an internal temperature of 145-degrees if you want your costume to be medium rare. If you're wearing chicken, your breasts should be 165-degrees. I assume they're referring to the chicken. And if your costume reaches room temperature or above and stays that way for more than two hours, do not eat it. Finally, and perhaps most importantly, beware of the dogs.
We now return you to our regularly scheduled postings.
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Jul '10
Re: Who Ate My Costume?
When did Halloween become an adult holiday?
When I was a kid, it was pretty much universally acknowledged that you dropped out of Halloween around age 10 or so.
Thank heaven we don't have adults engaging in Easter Egg hunts (though I admit I cannot resist biting the heads off those tasty little Peeps.)
Sep '10
Re: Who Ate My Costume?
Personally I wouldn't go with the raw meat costume-- salmonella, trichinosis, mad cow disease, and fending off small predators are but a few of the problems that quick come to mind. Much better to go with the preserved, smoked or cooked meats. You can fashion a perfectly acceptable hula skirt or kilt from jerky, slim jims or smoked salmon--I've done it. Using chopped liver or braunschweiger as body paint or trying to knit a vest out of Vienna sausage is not recommended though.
Re: Who Ate My Costume?
Pat, Pat, Pat. I love ya, but "apparantly famous." Lady Gaga IS the famous person of the moment. My daughter (13) thought about the meat dress, but we have three dogs and it's really gross. As seen here. She's going with the bubble dress. As seen here. I wonder which organization will come out and warn us about the use of clear plastic Christmas ornaments...um, I mean holiday ornaments.
Edited on Oct 19, 2010 at 6:31pmJul '10
Re: Who Ate My Costume?
Denise Moss: Pat, Pat, Pat. I love ya, but "apparantly famous." Lady Gaga IS the famous person of the moment. My daughter (13) thought about the meat dress, but we have three dogs and it's really gross. As seen here. She's going with the bubble dress. As seen here. I wonder which organization will come out and warn us about the use of clear plastic Christmas ornaments...um, I mean holiday ornaments. · Oct 19 at 6:28pm
Edited on Oct 19 at 06:31 pm
Bubble dress?
Thank God I don't have an adolescent daughter.
May '10
Re: Who Ate My Costume?
Buncha nanny-state sissies. When I was a kid, we wore raw meat every week.
You can't be a lord by marrying a lady, any more than you can be a king by marrying a queen. The opposite works, but it doesn't work for the guy. You could be the Rt Hon Patrick Sajak-Gaga, but never Lord Gaga. Heck, I think girls can even get the Lady title by marrying a mere knight.
Jul '10
Re: Who Ate My Costume?
Pat, are you still doing the Little Mermaid costume?
Honestly, bud, it was looking a little, um, tattered last time around.
Re: Who Ate My Costume?
Kenneth
Bubble dress?
Thank God I don't have an adolescent daughter. · Oct 19 at 6:39pm
Tell me about it. I have to sew the friggin' thing. OH, you mean the precociously sexual part of it. She's five feet, 90 pounds. She'll be cute, not sexy.
Jul '10
Re: Who Ate My Costume?
I'm getting my meat costume from a halal butcher. Angry vegans I can handle, but accusations of anti-Islamic bigotry? Not this Halloween, thank you very much.
Jul '10
Re: Who Ate My Costume?
Denise Moss
Kenneth
Bubble dress?
Thank God I don't have an adolescent daughter. · Oct 19 at 6:39pm
Tell me about it. I have to sew the friggin' thing. OH, you mean the precociously sexual part of it. She's five feet, 90 pounds. She'll be cute, not sexy. · Oct 19 at 7:03pm
After seeing the pic of GaGa in the dress, I choked.
I guess it's OK, Denise, as long as she wears a hazmat suit underneath.
Re: Who Ate My Costume?
Okay, Denise, I admit it. I did that thing where you pretend not to be aware of a cultural icon just to show how "above it all" you are. I learned that method from Bill Buckley who once described Oprah Winfrey as--and I'm paraphrasing--"that woman on TV who gets alternately fat and thin."
Sep '10
Re: Who Ate My Costume?
Pat Sajak
Okay, Denise, I admit it. I did that thing where you pretend not to be aware of a cultural icon just to show how "above it all" you are. I learned that method from Bill Buckley who once described Oprah Winfrey as--and I'm paraphrasing--"that woman on TV who gets alternately fat and thin." · Oct 19 at 7:07pm
LOL
Re: Who Ate My Costume?
Kenneth: Pat, are you still doing the Little Mermaid costume?
Honestly, bud, it was looking a little, um, tattered last time around. · Oct 19 at 7:02pm
Dammit, Kenneth, I keep telling you it's Charlie the Tuna!
Aug '10
Re: Who Ate My Costume?
Meat dresses? That's old already. How about cabbage dresses? Fish skin dresses? Dresses made from vinegar slime?
Vinegar slime dresses are produced by -- no joke -- letting slime grow over an inflatable doll and then deflating it.
Speaking of deflating, Lady Gaga allegedly stole her bubble dress from a Turkish guy who made a name for himself in the fashion world by burying clothes in his back yard, then digging them up and having people wear them.
Cheese dresses have apparently not been done yet, however (except with Kraft singles, which don't really count, as they're not cheese, but fake-cheese-and-plastic). Any bets that cheese dresses will be the next Big Thing?
Haute couture. I will never understand it.
Edited on Oct 19, 2010 at 9:01pmJul '10
Re: Who Ate My Costume?
Pat Sajak
Kenneth: Pat, are you still doing the Little Mermaid costume?
Honestly, bud, it was looking a little, um, tattered last time around. · Oct 19 at 7:02pm
Dammit, Kenneth, I keep telling you it's Charlie the Tuna! · Oct 19 at 7:25pm
Oh, Sajak, you.....are....good.
Jul '10
Re: Who Ate My Costume?
Pat Sajak
Okay, Denise, I admit it. I did that thing where you pretend not to be aware of a cultural icon just to show how "above it all" you are. I learned that method from Bill Buckley who once described Oprah Winfrey as--and I'm paraphrasing--"that woman on TV who gets alternately fat and thin." · Oct 19 at 7:07pm
What makes this extra awesome is that I'll bet Lady Gaga does know exactly who Pat Sajak is.
Game, set, match, Sajak.
Re: Who Ate My Costume?
Midget Faded Rattlesnake: Meat dresses? That's old already. How about cabbage dresses? Fish skin dresses? Dresses made from vinegar slime? Oct 19 at 7:54pm
Edited on Oct 19 at 09:01 pm
Where's Rob Long when you need him? I just arrived in Tokyo. I'd like to wash off my vinegar slime slacks and go to bed, but how do I work these crazy toilet nozzles?
Aug '10
Re: Who Ate My Costume?
I've got a tofu tux and top hat. You can keep your high cholesterol, high fat, noxious nitrate meat!
Re: Who Ate My Costume?
Craig McLaughlin
Pat Sajak
Okay, Denise, I admit it. I did that thing where you pretend not to be aware of a cultural icon just to show how "above it all" you are. I learned that method from Bill Buckley who once described Oprah Winfrey as--and I'm paraphrasing--"that woman on TV who gets alternately fat and thin." · Oct 19 at 7:07pm
LOL · Oct 19 at 7:18pm
No wonder I didn't get it. I'm not very good at sarcasm.
May '10
Re: Who Ate My Costume?
I don't think Pat was being sarcastic so much as droll. Drollery is not so much a staple of pop culture with the possible exception of Tim Gunn on Project Runway, though in his case it slides precariously toward fey. And feyness is definitely on the rise.
May '10
Re: Who Ate My Costume?
Lady Gaga is many things, but she ain't no lady. As for costumes of meat, I hope there are no rabid dogs on the prowl.