Which Defines You More, High School Or College?
Washington Post columnist Jay Mathews argues that since far more people went to high school than college, we should reference that part of their history when talking to them. My parents graduated from high school in 1964. When any of their peers asked where they went to school, they didn't mean where my parents went to college, grad school or seminary, they meant high school. And in Denver, abbreviations ruled the day. My Dad went to "TJ" -- Thomas Jefferson. My Mom went to "GW" -- George Washington. In many ways, this explained much of what you needed to know about someone's adolescence and background. Mathews writes:
High school defines us. It is an educational experience we nearly all share. Useful abilities, such as reading, writing, math and our own peculiar talents for the most part take root in high school, or don’t, to our sorrow. High school offers lessons in love, social dynamics, news and what we are most likely to enjoy in our adult lives, at work and play. Hillsdale High School in San Mateo, Calif., gave me more than my colleges, Occidental and Harvard.
High school dramas are staples of television and cinema. Far more people attend high school sporting events than those at colleges. High school teachers are far more likely to have an impact on the lives of students than college professors.
Yet we don’t act as if any of that high school stuff is important. In a lifetime of social gatherings, I cannot remember ever being asked where I went to high school. The college experiences, on the other hand, are frequently discussed.
I think he may be on to something. I have barely any relationship with the University of Colorado, which granted me my economics degree. In many ways, I think Douglas County High School in Castle Rock, Colorado, defined me more. It was an excellent school with high-performing peers. We had many from our class go on to become doctors, scientists and academics. One of them even won a MacArthur Grant in her young 30s. Another is an Academy Award nominated actress. My best friends from that period of time remain my best friends. I didn't make lasting friendships in college, possibly due to the fact that I worked full time to pay for my schooling.
I don't have particularly fond memories of high school, except for the fact that I made some of my most enduring friendships during that time. I didn't make lasting friendships in college, possibly due to the fact that I worked full time to pay for my schooling. I've been thinking about this as I decide whether to attend my -- gasp -- 20th high school reunion this summer.
Anyway, I'm curious if any of you attended high schools that significantly influenced you.
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Apr '11
Re: Which Defines You More, High School Or College?
katievs
Both our daughters did that too. So, when our son graduates from high school in June, it will be a first for us. He has absolutely loved his quirky, all boys prep school experience. · 3 hours ago
One of my daughters--the "odd one"--found out she needed just two classes--including Senior Project--to get her HS diploma. She had gone to Senior Prom as a junior, so there was no reason to do senior year. She went to summer school, took a course at the community college, and while her friends were in school, she worked and saved for college.
Apr '11
Re: Which Defines You More, High School Or College?
I am in the "neither" camp as well. High school was ho-hum, I spent most of my extra-curricular time in the swimming pool, and I was gone my junior year as a foreign exchange student. (The mistake there was that I should have gone for my senior year instead and then I wouldn't have had to return. My worldview and political sensibilities had expanded dramatically by then.)
University was good but I graduated early and was glad to be gone. While my education in graduate school 12 years later was superb, it defined my (current) career but not me.
As for friends, those from high school are the same ones that I had in kindergarten and we get together a few times a year. The majority of my friends are those I have met in church and they are, simply, wonderful.
May '10
Re: Which Defines You More, High School Or College?
Really, neither. For me, identity is internal rather than external. High school was the only public high school in a relatively small California town; class of 200. I knew everyone but wasn't part of the "in crowd". But I still have friends with whom I went to kindergarten, and a significant number of Facebook friends.
College was a Christian liberal arts college in Illinois; class of 400. But I spent too much time focused on Wife#1 and not enough building broad friendships. But I still have contacts, mostly Facebook, with a few friends there.
But I have never felt "defined" by a place or a past or even my friends. Even now I am blessed to have an incredible and diverse array of friends in four or five non-overlapping circles. But they don't define me, or me them. We have chosen each other as friends because of who we are, who we've become. And that is what makes their friendship invaluable.
Jan '11
Re: Which Defines You More, High School Or College?
University of Science, Music, and Culture!
Aug '10
Re: Which Defines You More, High School Or College?
Now that I think about it more, I'd say that the institution that helped define me the most was the Christian summer camp I attended from the age of 7 until the age of 15, did leadership training at 16, and volunteered as a camp counsellor for another two years, as well as going back for reunion weekends from time to time.
Pretty much all my best memories from adolescence are from summer camp.