What is wrong with David Cameron?
"Calling Dr Delingpole, calling Dr Delingpole. David Cameron has really lost it entirely. What's up with that?"
Thank you James Gawron for asking this important question. As a doctor who has spent many years studying the psychopathology of our political classes I am in an excellent position to diagnose the weird, embarrassing and quite likely psychotic behavior demonstrated by the British Prime Minister on his recent visit to the US.
What you witnessed - if you witnessed it: I gather British prime ministerial visits don't rock your boat to quite the same degree that, say, NFL games do, or bagels shaped with faces like Mitt Romney and sold on Ebay for $2.31, or whatever - is a classic case of Brokeback Mountain syndrome.
The syndrome manifests itself when two notionally heterosexual men find themselves inextricably drawn to one another through the powerful erotic allure of (highly symbolic) hot dog consumption while witnessing a game in which tall, sweat-stained young college kids jostle one another and toss bouncing balls through hoops.
Sometimes, the relationship can plumb even greater depths of cheesy inappropriateness:
The Prime Minister said the US President offered him use of his bed on the plane as the pair flew back to Washington after watching a basketball match in Dayton, Ohio last week.
Mr Cameron said: “On the way back, it was about 4 o’clock in the morning UK time, so he said ‘David, why don’t you use my bed and put your feet up’.
“So I duly did and Barack went to the back of the plane and explained to my private secretary and the team, he said ‘Don’t worry, the British Prime Minister is fine, I’ve just tucked him up in bed’.
“I don’t think that’s happened before.”
There is only one cure for this condition. Intense, sustained ridicule. And also, perhaps, the occasional gentle reminder that it hardly makes electoral sense for a notionally conservative prime minister to fawn and abase himself so shamelessly before a US president only slightly to the right of Chairman Mao.
Not even when that president has a jolly big jet with a nice warm bed in it and takes him to basketball games and feeds him hotdogs and it's really really exciting because dontcha know he's the most powerful man in the world and he's called POTUS and he's got a lovely deep speaking voice and he went to Harvard and lives in the most ginormous white house, way bigger than 10 Downing Street, in Washington, which is, like really impressive, like an Imperial capitol almost and you should see the size of his military....
No, Dave. Not even then.
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May '11
Re: What is wrong with David Cameron?
James, somewhere on the web there will be a link to this and the header will be "Its come to this." Well done.
Re: What is wrong with David Cameron?
Oh man, I love this post so much. And the added image made it that much better.
Apr '11
Re: What is wrong with David Cameron?
When I start to feel sorry for myself as a conservative in the US with the Republican party as my only political champion, I'll remind myself to just lie back and think of England.
Dec '10
Re: What is wrong with David Cameron?
Dr. Delingpole,
Thank you for the quick and insightful diagnosis. Please keep us updated on the patient's condition.
As always, you are most generous. Especially when you suggest the President is to the right of Chairman Mao. I'm sure his youthful team doesn't have the slightest idea who Chairman Mao is, and of course, are offended to hear that Barach is to the right of anyone.
Regards,
Jim
Jul '11
Re: What is wrong with David Cameron?
Their relationship is intense, yet David wants to have one in tents.
"I just cant quit you Barry"
Nov '10
Re: What is wrong with David Cameron?
When it happened I thought strongly about canceling my subscription to Country Life.
Jan '11
Re: What is wrong with David Cameron?
James, you've stated that most of your gay friends are conservative.
Nothing is wrong with David Cameron. He'll be ok once he learns to breath thru his nose.
Nov '11
Re: What is wrong with David Cameron?
It was certainly more "Civil Partnership" than "Special Relationship"...
Edited on March 21, 2012 at 7:49pmMay '10
Re: What is wrong with David Cameron?
"What is wrong with David Cameron?"
You could have stopped at the photo. But I'm glad you didn't.
Aug '11
Re: What is wrong with David Cameron?
However clever, I think the phrase "notionally heterosexual" may be in violation of the Ricochet self-governing rules of civility.
May '10
Re: What is wrong with David Cameron?
Apparently Mr. Cameron had his backbone replaced with by hot dog.
Jun '11
Re: What is wrong with David Cameron?
James, I have been hoping that the PM's insufferable fawning was a negotiating strategy to get the Churchill bust reinstated to its rightful place in the Oval Office. Perhaps he'll even sneak it in during a late night tryst with POTUS. I admire Cameron's willingness to take one for Team Pax Britanica.
Feb '12
Re: What is wrong with David Cameron?
I think the term is mirror imaging. My cure for this malaise is to tie a large mirror to the end of the subject's bed so that every morning he can bloody well Wake Up to Himself! Followed by serial ridicule..
Mar '11
Re: What is wrong with David Cameron?
The Ricochet CoC's prevent me from making any jokes about the 1 mile-high club.
Until this visit by Mr Cameron, I thought Mr Delingpole was a little over-the-top in his dislike of Mr Cameron. Now, I just can't understand what Mr Cameron is up to - it makes no sense, whatsoever.
At least we should be glad that Mr Cameron didn't faint.
Edited on March 21, 2012 at 9:15pmOct '10
Re: What is wrong with David Cameron?
The PM just wanted to see the place and feel the magic before that whole $16T debt thing comes crashing down on the Imperial throne. Cameron will have the last laugh because he's actually doing something about his Labor Party predecessor's unchecked spending spree. Next time they meet, Barack will be bumming cigarettes (assuming someone in the PM's entourage smokes, which isn't likely).
Feb '11
Re: What is wrong with David Cameron?
Well, I'm probably going to make you angry by asking this, but I will anyway.
How are you any different from David Cameron? You both think it would be best if Obama were re-elected.
Cheap shot perhaps, but there it is.
Apr '11
Re: What is wrong with David Cameron?
Hang On: Well, I'm probably going to make you angry by asking this, but I will anyway.
How are you any different from David Cameron? You both think it would be best if Obama were re-elected.
Cheap shot perhaps, but there it is. · 4 minutes ago
Ouch.
Jun '11
Re: What is wrong with David Cameron?
When I first read Cameron's fawning remarks about his "date"with Obama.. I HONESTLY thought it was some sort of weird parody.
This is for real?
God help the UK!
Oct '10
Re: What is wrong with David Cameron?
Hang On: Well, I'm probably going to make you angry by asking this, but I will anyway.
How are you any different from David Cameron? You both think it would be best if Obama were re-elected.
Cheap shot perhaps, but there it is.
Huh? James Delingpole has probably been (inaccurately) accused of many crazy things, but wanting Obama reelected?
Aug '10
Re: What is wrong with David Cameron?
EJ ? ! ! ! E J ! ! !