What Are the Worst Movies You've Seen?
Okay, the good movies post is tons of fun, but we've all seen some films that had, well, issues. However, the films are so terribly bad that, like a bloody car crash, we watch anyway out of some sense of masochistic despair. My own films on the sort of "bottom 5" of my movie list:
Plan 9 From Outer Space - Best taken in small doses, this Ed Wood "classic" features bad visual effects, terrible acting, and unrealistic stand-ins for actors who died during filming. It is a must-see only for the way all of these disparate elements fail to come together.
Indiana Jones - Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. No better commentary can be found than the South Park Episode spoofing it (It is, however, completely non-compliant with Ricochet's Code of Conduct). I told my wife I wanted my money back. She said she got it from the library. I said I wanted my life back too.
Star Wars, something something Sith. So, Anakin became Darth Vader because he was an angry, unsophisticated teenager? Really? That was it? Somehow Darth Vader just became a lot less frightening. Summary: Carrie! In Spaaaacceee!.
The Dark Knight Rises - Maybe if it was just one film instead of two of three smashed together; maybe if it had just one ending instead of three false ones; maybe if Heath Ledger's death hadn't hyped it so much. I just kept waiting for it to end so I could go to bed. I know this isn't a popular choice, but I really detested this movie, though not as much as ...
Transformers, something something Fallen - I liked the first film, which was a fun take on the franchise. The second film was nothing but a paean to comic book nerds. I did go to bed before this one was over. My wife kept saying "Wait, the climactic battle is coming." I said something about how I hoped they all beat each other to death.
I could mock a few others, but dinner awaits. Love to see what films you all can't stand!
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Dec '10
Re: What Are the Worst Movies You've Seen?
Nothing on your list holds a candle to The Perils of Gwendoline in the Land of the Yik Yak.You really have to see it to believe it.
Apparently it's on youtube. Adult content warning: if you're an adult the content of this movie will disturb you.
Edited on November 13, 2012 at 4:45amMar '11
Re: What Are the Worst Movies You've Seen?
Just the title! Wow! I'll look it up!
Mar '11
Re: What Are the Worst Movies You've Seen?
My wife added Corky Romano - an unmentionably bad film trying to launch a mediocre SNL star.
Jun '10
Re: What Are the Worst Movies You've Seen?
"The Matrix Reloaded" will make sure that you will never watch the 3rd in the series. So bad! Yet, the original is really ground-breaking and somewhat original (even though there are "eXistenZ" and "The Thirteenth Floor" working on the same theme).
Jun '10
Re: What Are the Worst Movies You've Seen?
About two months ago, my wife, on the spur of the moment, said, "let's go to a movie." The movie, The Cold Light of Day, is a thriller with Bruce Willis and Sigourney Weaver. On a lark, we went. I may have to have counselling to get over it.
It is beyond doubt the worst movie I've ever seen. The plot makes no sense at all. In fact, it's worse. Some plots are irrational--this one is unintentionally anti-rational. The action sequences are terrible. And the acting is cringeworthy.
Apparently the public agreed. It was gone quickly. Don't go anywhere near it.
Edited on November 11, 2012 at 12:28amMar '11
Re: What Are the Worst Movies You've Seen?
Completely agree on the Matrix series - couldn't stand the 2nd film, couldn't be bothered with the 3rd at all.
Jun '10
Re: What Are the Worst Movies You've Seen?
My wife and I went to see "Cloud Atlas" -- hated it. Absolutely incoherent. First, we couldn't understand the actors because of a new pidgin language they invented (needed subtitles) and then later we realized we didn't care. Watch the trailer -- seriously -- the only good parts of the movie are 5 minutes worth and they are all in the trailer.
Aug '10
Re: What Are the Worst Movies You've Seen?
If we're going all the way back to Plan 9 From Outer Space territory, I'll nominate The Undead. But for your sanity's sake, watch the Mystery Science Theater 3000 riff episode instead of the regular movie.
I don't know if MST3K episodes count as "movies I have seen", but if so I really can't believe anything tops Red Zone Cuba or The Beast of Yuca Flats.
Edited on November 11, 2012 at 12:56amSep '10
Re: What Are the Worst Movies You've Seen?
I saw that second Transformers movie in a cheap theater, and there was a boy about ten who kept talking through it. It started off fun, campy and just became really bad.
It makes me glad they didn't make those movies when I was a kid and liked Transformers.
Mar '11
Re: What Are the Worst Movies You've Seen?
"Home Alone".
"Dumb and Dumber".
"Knowing" (To be fair, that one was kind of interesting, if you could supply the necessarily willing suspension of disbelief for about the first 3/4's, then it went horribly off the rails at the end).
May '11
Re: What Are the Worst Movies You've Seen?
The Happening.
My vasectomy was easier to sit through.
Edited on November 11, 2012 at 2:15amFeb '12
Re: What Are the Worst Movies You've Seen?
Blair Witch Project.
And yes, I got the concept behind it.
Edited on November 11, 2012 at 2:24amJun '10
Re: What Are the Worst Movies You've Seen?
The Way We Were
Moon In The Gutter
Popeye
The Master
Howard The Duck
The 5,000 Fingers of Dr. T
Porky's
Mar '11
Re: What Are the Worst Movies You've Seen?
Brian, 5000 fingers of Dr. T? Just the title is cringe-inducing.
MST3K, so glad that was brought up - my favorite commentaries were the short educational films. They had one about puberty that brought tears to my eyes.
Jul '12
Re: What Are the Worst Movies You've Seen?
I actually walked out of the WWII movie The Thin Red Line. Terence Malick stinks. The New World was awful too. The worst movie I've ever seem was on MST3K Manos the Hands of Fate. Too awful to describe. And I just don't understand Eraserhead but kind of like it. It's like watching someone's nightmare.
Dec '10
Re: What Are the Worst Movies You've Seen?
Brass Target--incredibly bad film about the death of General Patton. It doesn't help that Patton is not played by George C Scott. Or that Sophia Loren has top billing.
Mar '11
Re: What Are the Worst Movies You've Seen?
Harrison Ford - Random Hearts.
Saw it in the theater with my sister and my wife. Not even half way through it we looked at each other, got up and left.
Pearl Harbor was another clunker. Got it for free on BluRay by buying an early player. Even though it was a freebie I only made it about 1/2 hour into it. It was like watching a low budget 1952 film about WWII that someone had recently colorized and added some CGI stuff to spruce it up.
Apr '12
Re: What Are the Worst Movies You've Seen?
That was my most treasured book of the year a while ago - a slow, complex, wordy read. When I heard the movie was being done by The Matrix lot - the guy is now a woman - I did not want to see it. I figured it would be all gender moralizing.
Nov '11
Re: What Are the Worst Movies You've Seen?
"Mars Attacks"
May '11
Re: What Are the Worst Movies You've Seen?
"Guns of the Timberland" with Alan Ladd, Gilbert Roland and Jean Crain. So cheap that they made it in black & white in 1960. So cheesy that they had 100 "lumberjacks" sitting on top of a train swinging their axes in time to the unforgettable ditty: "Timber, timber, timber I cry! If a tree don't fall on me I'll live 'til I die." Gilbert Roland as a Scotsman and Jean Crain a budget version of Jane Russell, without 2 of her most famous talents.