Wanna Be A Drunk? Head West, Apparently
Ursula Hennessey ·
Feb 8, 2011 at 1:37pm
Men's Health magazine has listed the Top 100 drunkest cities in America. Here are the Top 10:
1) Fresno, CA
2) Reno, NV
3) Billings, MT
4) Riverside, CA
5) Austin, TX
6) St. Louis, MO
7) San Antonio, TX
8) Lubbock, TX
9) Tucson, AZ
10) Bakersfield, CA
According to the article, the data used to determine rankings included liver disease, binge drinking, DUI-related fatal crashes, DUI arrests, and DUI laws.
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May '10
Re: Wanna Be A Drunk? Head West, Apparently
Kenneth
Ursula Hennessey
· Feb 8 at 1:51pm
You'd be better off to ask Victor Davis Hanson. He's spent way more time there than I. And the times I've spoken to him about Fresno, he's been utterly despondent. · Feb 8 at 2:28pm
Edited on Feb 08 at 02:29 pm
And coincidentally, bombed out of his gourd on ouzo. That's why he's so darned mellow talking about impending cataclysm.
But don't despair, kids! Boozing is a cheap, easy and fun hobby you can do right from home. I live in the Eastern time zone (real time, as opposed to whatever fake, wampum time you got out there). It was long my ambition to become a drunk, and I was so spectacularly successful at it that I somehow managed to lose half of my blood.
This pinnacle is achievable, as long as you apply yourselves and don't get discouraged.
Jul '10
Re: Wanna Be A Drunk? Head West, Apparently
FeliciaB:
BTW, Bakersfield is a great place to get gas. · Feb 8 at 3:28pm
We're talking about getting drunk, not local eateries.
Oct '10
Re: Wanna Be A Drunk? Head West, Apparently
TheRoyalFamily
Mike LaRoche: But there is a huge omission from the list. The drunkest city in Texas is - by a long shot - Laredo. · Feb 8 at 3:36pm
Edited on Feb 08 at 03:45 pm
They aren't drunk there. Or at least they aren't getting drunk all at once. No, they just are drinking all day. That's not binge drinking.
Plus, it's hard to tell if someone there is driving while drunk, or driving while Mexican. Just saying. · Feb 8 at 4:12pm
Heh, spoken like someone who may have lived there!
Oct '10
Re: Wanna Be A Drunk? Head West, Apparently
No offense intended, outside of perhaps family ties.. Fresno is no place to live, Bakersfield as well. Got two legs ? Use them..
As for Nuevo Laredo and Laredo, a full load of gas and a heavy foot on the accelerator and the I 35 is the best option. Just go easy on the coffee, plan ahead.....
Sep '10
Re: Wanna Be A Drunk? Head West, Apparently
Pleased to see Austin represented itself in the top 10. I could have told them that. But I'm as mystified as Pseudodionysius about Lubbock. Fort Worth is pretty drunken as well. Laredo, oh yeah.
May '10
Re: Wanna Be A Drunk? Head West, Apparently
I would have thought that Denver would have performed a little better in this little test. Terribly disappointed.
Maybe it's time for another Rocky Mountain Blogger Bash...
Nov '10
Re: Wanna Be A Drunk? Head West, Apparently
Pseudodionysius: Lubbock? I've been to Lubbock. Sure, it was 10 years ago, but my complaint was the lack of drinking. What changed? · Feb 8 at 1:56pm
Edited on Feb 08 at 02:06 pm
When you arrived they were just fine. After you abandoned them they started drinking. Don't you see what's happened here? Cats are so self-centered.
On another note, how can you tell when a St. Louisan is drunk?
Hey, that was a rhetorical question, but now I'm coming up with some punch lines:
1) He's cussing because he can't get his croquet ball through that giant wicket.
2) He thinks Albert Pujols is overpaid.
3) ?
May '10
Re: Wanna Be A Drunk? Head West, Apparently
I believe Murray & Herrnstein showed that lower IQ correlated with higher accident rates and lower life expectancy.
Re: Wanna Be A Drunk? Head West, Apparently
I'd like to salute my hometown of Riverside, California for appearing at number four on the list. We're also first in the nation for air pollution (during my childhood we often had phys ed classes canceled because of air quality). Riverside, California: Drink like the Irish, breathe like the Chinese.
Nov '10
Re: Wanna Be A Drunk? Head West, Apparently
Whoa..I'm feeling the Fresno hate all over. I moved to the Fresno area from Indiana about 18 years ago. I cannot quite comprehend the results from the study but I do not find the area nearly as reprehensible as Kenneth does. Sure it's hot but I will take that over freezing anytime. My theory on the alcohol abuse has much to do with the demographics of the area. There is a large unassimilated population from several disparate parts of the world. There are, beyond Hispanics, Russians, Armenians, Hmong, and others. Most derive their living from the agriculture of the area and that is mostly seasonal and leaves unemployment very high even in the best of times. This is also a problem shared by bakersfield.
Nov '10
Re: Wanna Be A Drunk? Head West, Apparently
Ursula Hennessey:
5) Austin, TX
WOOHOO! I'll celebrate on Sixth Street!
Aug '10
Re: Wanna Be A Drunk? Head West, Apparently
Why yes, we do. A lot of it, in fact. Like the British in India, we drink copious amount of gin & tonic in the summer to fight off the malaria and like the Scots in Scotland, we drink copious amounts of scotch the rest of the year, because many of us are mostly genetically Celtic and that's what we do...and fight...and paint ourselves our clan colors at college football games. See W.J. Cash, The Mind Of the South.
Aug '10
Re: Wanna Be A Drunk? Head West, Apparently
Matthew Lawrence
Why yes, we do. A lot of it, in fact. Like the British in India, we drink copious amount of gin & tonic in the summer to fight off the malaria and like the Scots in Scotland, we drink copious amounts of scotch the rest of the year, because many of us are mostly genetically Celtic
Matthew - your comment supports a theory of mine: If you take a classic British accent and slow it down with enough heat, humidity and mint juleps, you end up with the standard genteel Atlanta drawl.
Aug '10
Re: Wanna Be A Drunk? Head West, Apparently
Aaron Miller: Some years ago, black boxes and microphones were installed in vehicles around the country to record the last words of drivers during traffic accidents. In 49 states, the most common words recorded were, "Oh, $#@!" But in Texas, the most common recording was, "Hold my beer and watch this."
I thought of that story when a drive-through liquor store opened in my area.
Ha! Thanks, Aaron, for the story and the reminder. I remember when the first drive-thru "beer barn" opened up in Dallas - more than 20 years ago.
Aug '10
Re: Wanna Be A Drunk? Head West, Apparently
One of my English professors was the editor of the linguistic atlas of the US and he told us that the average southerner sounded more like shakespeare did than the average Londoner because when the language went forth with colonists, it tends to stagnate whereas the home of the language would continue to change. Hence, the accentual differences between Australians, Americans, S. Africans, etc. See Albion's Seed for a discussion on the preservation of folkways from Britain to the American colonies.
When I was in Atlanta for law school, it seemed to be overrun by Carpetbaggers from Ohio and New Jersey. It would take a heck of lot of mint juleps to make those accents sound southern (to me anyway).
I ordinarily don't think of myself as having that thick of an accent but when compared to KatieVS and DuaneOyen on the member video, I reckon I do.
Aug '10
Re: Wanna Be A Drunk? Head West, Apparently
I disagree!
When it's cold you can always put on another sweater.
When it's hot you could be naked and still get no relief.
So say we all.
Sep '10
Re: Wanna Be A Drunk? Head West, Apparently
When you arrived they were just fine. After you abandoned them they started drinking. Don't you see what's happened here? Cats are so self-centered.
Enough about me: what do you think about me?