Veterans Day Reflections: The Hat
Several years ago, while still in office, President Bush encouraged veterans to display their medals on Veterans Day. I had a hat with my medals pinned to it resting on the dashboard of my 18 wheeler, but I hadn't actually worn it. My friend and fellow military retiree, Bob Lee, urged me to wear the hat, explaining that only a small fraction of Americans actually know a service member. What they know of us is filtered through the media, he said, and therefore often distorted. As is his custom Bob made good sense, so I reluctantly agreed to wear the hat that day. The reaction was mixed as some people gawked, while some actually glared (Abu Ghraib was in the headlines at the time), and the remainder were just indifferent.
Sitting down to dinner that Veterans Day evening, my hat on the table, I was reflecting on the reactions I had experienced and feeling a bit down. I didn't exactly expect a parade, but a smile would have been nice. A gentleman's voice interrupted my brooding. "You've got a lot of hardware on that hat." I looked up, and there stood a guy wearing a hat that said, "Vietnam Veteran." Accepting my invitation to take a seat, he talked with me at length about his experiences both during and after the war. He told me about the hostility and derision he endured when he returned home from southeast Asia. With tact and grace, he put my own dejection in proper perspective, fostering instead my determination to continue putting a human face to the stories in the news, wearing my medals and reminding my countrymen that their freedom is purchased at a high price.
What I didn't expect, and what I could never have imagined, is how my own life would be touched by the people I would meet as a result of that hat. People like the forklift operator I met in St. Louis last week, who is 100 percent disabled from his service in Iraq, but continues to work as long as his body will let him. His speech and motor skills are effected, the skin is raw and peeling from his hands and feet, all a result of the chemicals he was exposed to during the war. His condition will worsen, he says, but he's not bitter. Remarkably enough, he even has good things to say about the VA.
There was the singular experience a couple of years ago, of the waitress in Louisiana who greeted me saying, "Alright, tell me what those medals are for." I went through the list, pausing to tell her that the Good Conduct Medal was what my family found most perplexing. When I finished, I looked up at the waitress and was surprised to see tears streaming down her face as she struggled to maintain her composure. Mortified that I might have somehow caused offense, I went to apologize when she cut me off. Through the tears, this gentle soul explained that she had lost a son in Iraq. Her pain was so deep and yet so raw, I could scarcely speak. Her remaining son, she continued, had enlisted in order to finish his big brother's work. He deployed to Iraq, where he was wounded. After her shift that day, this Gold Star mom would go home to take care of him. What a remarkable family! What a heavy burden this noble and strong woman carries on her small shoulders. How heavy her heart! And what happened next? She hugged me and thanked me for my service. It was all I could do to keep my composure at that point. It was I who owed her and her family a world of thanks, and I told her so, choking back my own tears.
In 2009, I toured the WWII Museum in New Orleans. I found a hat that had the words "World War II Veteran" on it, and purchased it for my grandfather, who was in a nursing home at the time. He had served in the Pacific Theatre during the war, and he had a wonderful joy of life that one might expect from someone who knew what a hard existence was truly like. I sent the hat to him, and my family tells me that it was love at first sight. He wouldn't take it off. A few weeks later, when I went to visit him, we both sported our hats as he shared with me stories from the war that I had not heard before. When he had to be hospitalized, he wouldn't get in the ambulance without his hat.
When his condition deteriorated, I went back home to Lake Charles, LA as quickly as possible, but he passed away a few minutes before I got there. Once there, my Dad showed me that there on the pillow next to Paw Paw, was his veterans hat. Now, I'm not sure how St. Peter feels about contraband in Heaven, but I sent my grandfather's hat along with him just the same. I'll bear the repercussions if necessary.
Maybe the reason why so many vets wear these conspicuous hats is to help spot each other in a crowd. There is a line of honor, valor, and service that runs from Afghanistan and stretches all the way back to Valley Forge. The hats, the patches, shadow boxes, jackets, shirts, and other items, are a way to showcase that lineage. A link to past glory perhaps, but most importantly, a sign of respect and support for those who serve today. As Veterans Day approaches, I offer my sincere and heartfelt thanks to all of our vets. And to the families, whose service and sacrifice leaves me breathless with awe and respect, I salute you. I hope you won't think it corny, but among the myriad ways in which God has blessed this country, I count the men and women of strong character and fierce determination who defend her, and the families who support them.
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Oct '10
Re: Veterans Day Reflections: The Hat
Thanks for the insights, Dave. I have wondered about "the hat". It appears that you wear it well. Keep up the good work!
Re: Veterans Day Reflections: The Hat
Thank you for you service Dave! I had breakfast with a good friend of mine this morning who served overseas and has been home for a couple of years now. The memories are a battle for him everyday, and I hope everybody takes a time to thank everyone they know currently serving and veterans along with their families. If you are praying for these brave men and women it is important to let know.
God Bless
Jul '10
Re: Veterans Day Reflections: The Hat
Both my grandfathers served in WW2.
One was a Marine who served under Shepherd in the Pacific theater. He later rejoined the service and retired a full bird.
The other grandfather served as a medic in the European theater under Patton. After he served in the Army, he became a truck driver.
As I grew up I had much more respect for the Marine than the Medic. After all, Papa was just a Medic and Grandpa was a Marine. I would ask Grandpa about battle but was rebuffed by my parents because he was very affected by his memories. Papa would freely share stories of his friends in the war, and some of the funny situations that he found himself in.
Once I was talking with Grandpa and he said that he had a lot of respect for Papa and what he did in the war. I didn't understand what he was talking about. Here's this fierce warrior giving respect to the guy who only carried a sidearm for emergency.
When I got older, I learned exactly what a medic did and does.
When everyone was in retreat, he ran towards the battle to help save the injured...
Re: Veterans Day Reflections: The Hat
Michael, thanks for posting this. I had one grandfather that served in the Pacific, and another who served in Europe. You're right, getting a lot of these folks to open up beyond the humorous anecdotes about military life can be tough. One of my uncles helped liberate some of the concentration camps, ...an experience he just doesn't discuss. My thanks to your family, Michael.
Jun '10
Re: Veterans Day Reflections: The Hat
I remember a time when veterans were not held in high regard, when they'd just as soon no one know about their service, if nothing more than to avoid the arguments. I'm glad that time is past but I'm mindful it could come again. That is why I'm so happy to see those hats. They've become a symbol of pride. I look a veteran in the eye as I pass, give and receive that slight nod of acknowledgment that says more than a hundred words could.
Many have served with honor and distinction. The symbols of that service shouldn't be hidden away in a box somewhere, they should be displayed with pride. If you earned 'em, you should wear 'em.
Thanks for your service Dave, and the service of all the other veterans on this forum. Your efforts were no small thing and you should be recognized for them.
Jul '10
Re: Veterans Day Reflections: The Hat
To:
- My father-in-law (USMC, Korea, post conflict)
- My Wife's Uncle (USAAF, WWII, ETO)
- My Great Uncle (USA, WWII)
- My other Great Uncle (USA, WWI, KIA)
- Numerous ancestors who served and fought in the Civil War, War of 1812, and the Revolutionary War
- And, to you, Dave
Thank you, thank you, THANK YOU, for your service.
Re: Veterans Day Reflections: The Hat
Bob, thank you for your service, your friendship, your wisdom, and good spirit. By the way, if I can get through your neck of the woods again, I still want to take that Mosin-Nagaunt through its paces. Oh yes, and thanks for convincing me to wear the hat.
May '10
Re: Veterans Day Reflections: The Hat
I wish all veterans would wear marks of service for the same reason I wish all priests would wear collars and all homes would fly the flag. Symbols direct our attention to nobler concerns.
And kids are more inspired to follow suit when their heroes are not just on TV. It helps a child immensely in every aspect of life to think of honor, duty and courage.
Thanks, Dave.
Nov '10
Re: Veterans Day Reflections: The Hat
Whenever my husband sees a vet wearing something that identifies him as such, he goes right up and shakes his hand and thanks him. I've often felt a little funny about that--a little...intrusive. I won't feel that way anymore. Thanks so much for your service and sacrifice, Dave.
This was my daughter's Veterans Day recitation piece this year:
Prayer of a Soldier in France by Joyce Kilmer
My shoulders ache beneath my pack
(Lie easier, Cross, upon His back).
I march with feet that burn and smart
(Tread, Holy Feet, upon my heart).
Men shout at me who may not speak
(They scourged Thy back and smote Thy cheek).
I may not lift a hand to clear
My eyes of salty drops that sear.
(Then shall my fickle soul forget
Thy agony of Bloody Sweat?)
My rifle hand is stiff and numb
(From Thy pierced palm red rivers come).
Lord, Thou didst suffer more for me
Than all the hosts of land and sea.
So let me render back again
This millionth of Thy gift. Amen.
Edited on Nov 10, 2010 at 11:18amRe: Veterans Day Reflections: The Hat
Layla, that is beautifully moving. Thank you. And you're right, it does everyone good to say thanks.
Jun '10
Re: Veterans Day Reflections: The Hat
Dave, once again I find myself moved by the spirit in which you write, bringing again to the forefront your passion for freedom and for those who serve and have served to protect our Nation. I've extended you thanks before, and here do so again.
And at the risk of dancing on an area of gray ambiguity of the CoC, I offer the recollection of an experience of my own from several years ago, which simply does not fit into the 200 word limit. I do believe it is on topic.
God bless.
Jun '10
Re: Veterans Day Reflections: The Hat
We have been struggling lately with the idea of "American exceptionalism," in fact, our president dismisses it out of hand. One measure of the exceptional greatness of our country is the willingness of people of every color, religion, and gender to answer the call and declare themselves patriots. From Concord to 9/11, when there has been a threat to this country and its freedom, the recruiting stations fill instantly with Americans selflessly offering to serve. Black Tuskegee Airmen, Nisei Japanese of the 442nd Infantry Regiment, Native Americans from the reservations joined second and third generation children of immigrants from all parts of the world in affirming that America was greater than the sum of its flaws by their willingness to die for their country. Perhaps this is the case elsewhere, but I don't think so. The WWII generation of veterans is fast departing, to be followed in turn by those of us that served in Korea and Vietnam but as long as there are those like the wonderful men and women that served in the Gulf and are currently serving in Iraq, Afganistan and dozens of other outposts around the world American remains as exceptional as they are.
Jun '10
Re: Veterans Day Reflections: The Hat
A couple of months ago Lee, the baby and I were having dinner at Golden Corral. While making my multiple trips to the "hot bar" for Daniel's food, I noticed a man sitting in the front of our section who had walking sticks. Thats really what caught my attention considering I almost tripped over one sticking out in the asile. On my way back with a plate I made a point to look at the people at the table, and I saw something I will never forget. He was joined buy his wife and daughter who promptly moved the walking stick on my way back through. Now I have seen a number of people who wear medals on their hats, and even you have a lot of them on there Daddy, but this man was covered! So much so, he even had a leather vest that continued on his collection. It too hardly had a blank spot on it! I had never seen someone with so many. And on the front of his hat it read, "Purple Heart Veteran."
Jun '10
Re: Veterans Day Reflections: The Hat
I spent the rest of my time there, between trying to get a couple bites of food, and chasing after Daniel, trying to figure out what to say to him. And I wasn't coming up with anything.
I held the door for them as they were leaving, and to my suprise the daughter stopped to ask me all the routine questions about Daniel. "How old is he? What's his favorite thing? ect..." By this point the Father was already in the car and ready to go. When we were joined by the Mother. I told them everything. How impressed I was by his decorations, and how deeply greatful I was for everything he had done.
They brought me over to the car where they opened his door and I got to tell him. Only when we were done talking and he reached out to close his door and go home did I notice his hands. Covered in raw, red spots and pleeling. Nothing was said, but the Wife and I exchanged looks, and I knew... I shook her hand as well, thanked her and her daughter for everything they have done for him, and we parted ways.
Jun '10
Re: Veterans Day Reflections: The Hat
It is amazing what you can learn, or how you can touch someone just by taking the time to say thank you. Or notice their hat. After all, they gave a lot more, including years of their time, for you and everyone else!
So thank you to everyone who has, is, or will serve to keep us all safe.
And thank you Daddy for everything you accepted, turned down, and endured for us! I love you!
Re: Veterans Day Reflections: The Hat
Christie, at the risk of turning this into a public mush-fest, let me say thank you for that story. As much as it meant to you to thank that gentleman, I'm sure it did his heart good to see that younger generations understand and appreciate what he and his brothers did for us. And as your Dad, I'm personally proud of you for doing that. You certainly know how to make a father proud. I love you too. Now, go take care of my grandson!
Nov '10
Re: Veterans Day Reflections: The Hat
My husband, an avid fly fisherman, is involved with an organization called Project Healing Waters, which teaches wounded vets to fly fish and tie flies and partners them with fly anglers for on-the-water events. It's AWESOME to see these guys on the water! Some of them are missing limbs; some wounds are...harder to see.
I'd encourage folks to check them out. :-)
Jun '10
Re: Veterans Day Reflections: The Hat
Well Daddy, I'm not sure he knows that I'm "younger generation" or not. His family might have told him later on about how old I looked. I guess I wasn't as clear as I could have been about the walking stick part. He was blind. His wife said that he had recently lost his sight to Diabetes. But I do hope that it made his heart smile anyway!
Edited on Nov 10, 2010 at 4:05pmOct '10
Re: Veterans Day Reflections: The Hat
When I returned from Afghanistan last July, I was on a flight from Detroit to Chicago. As I was boarding the plane, a gentleman in first class got up and insisted I take his seat. The entire flight I was fighting back tears. I highly doubt that man is on here, but if he is, Thank you.
I would encourage everyone tomorrow, please, if you see a vet, say thank you. Say it especially if you happen to run into any new returning vets. I can't tell you how much it means.
To you Dave and everyone else who has served. Thank you. Particularly to you old timers. I can barely imagine the challenges you faced in earlier wars, you make our current conflicts look like child's play.
Edited on Nov 10, 2010 at 8:49pmMay '10
Re: Veterans Day Reflections: The Hat
Thanks, Dave!