Valentine's Day at the Office?
Diane Ellis, Ed. ·
Feb 9, 2011 at 12:22pm
Do you have a "work spouse," or a colleague of the opposite sex with whom you share a close emotional, but purely platonic bond? A work spouse, says Sue Shellenbarger of the WSJ, is someone with whom "you talk about boss problems, co-worker problems, office politics, home life...and is someone you feel a little closer to than just your average co-worker." According to a survey that Shellenbarger highlights, nearly two-thirds of white-collar workers have or have had a work spouse.
So if you do have a work spouse, or even if you don't, do you think it's appropriate to honor him or her with a gift or a card on Valentine's Day, which is just around the corner? Or is that just too weird?
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Comments :
May '10
Re: Valentine's Day at the Office?
I do not have one and it is absolutely not appropriate to honor such a person in any way that even remotely suggests romance. Such a relationship--especially for people already married--is extremely dangerous.
Nov '10
Re: Valentine's Day at the Office?
Interesting. I certainly have had very close relationships with particular female teammates at work, though I never would have used that term. I can see where it makes sense though. I always consider these friendships some of the best ones I develop in adulthood. They seem to be even more long lasting than other buddy type relationships made during that same time.
Re: Valentine's Day at the Office?
Caryn: I do not have one and it is absolutely not appropriate to honor such a person in any way that even remotely suggests romance. Such a relationship--especially for people already married--is extremely dangerous. · Feb 9 at 12:29pm
It appears that the greeting card industry shares your sentiments, Caryn. From the same WSJ article:
Jun '10
Re: Valentine's Day at the Office?
Yeah, that's weird....
As Andy Bernard from The Office says: "I love secretary's day. If it weren't for secretaries, I wouldn't have a step Mom"
Sep '10
Re: Valentine's Day at the Office?
The alimony payments would kill me.
Re: Valentine's Day at the Office?
Pseudodionysius: The alimony payments would kill me. · Feb 9 at 12:37pm
Cats are allowed to get married?
Sep '10
Re: Valentine's Day at the Office?
Diane Ellis, Ed.
Pseudodionysius: The alimony payments would kill me. · Feb 9 at 12:37pm
Cats are allowed to get married? · Feb 9 at 12:38pm
Its the next logical step after the upcoming changes in marital arrangements, no?
May '10
Re: Valentine's Day at the Office?
Almost always. Though it, ahem, went a bit beyond that. Awkward giving Valentine's gifts to the already attached. A flirtier than normal email and mutual promises to wear something special to work had to do, with other activities not scheduled on that most buzz-killing of days.
Still, every other day was awesome. Really made you bounce out of bed and head to work with a spring in your step.
Nov '10
Re: Valentine's Day at the Office?
I agree that it is no more appropriate or necessary to honor these relationships than any other good friendships. However, I do believe that one venue appropriate and natural for such comraderie is at the workplace, especially in today's ranks of talent and parody between the sexes. I am just as inclined to get hired and rise up the ranks of an employer alongside a female teammate as I am a male. That being said, I have always been very transparent and forthcoming with my wife about any such friendships.
Dec '10
Re: Valentine's Day at the Office?
Caryn's right. Valentine's Day cards at work should be limited to kid's-style cards given out to the whole class. Singling out a special buddy is inviting all kinds of grief.
May '10
Re: Valentine's Day at the Office?
Is there an office where this occurs in real life? Dear God.
Jul '10
Re: Valentine's Day at the Office?
Kennedy Smith
Is there an office where this occurs in real life? Dear God. · Feb 9 at 1:08pm
I agree. It appears that another holiday's intent is being hijacked.
Oct '10
Re: Valentine's Day at the Office?
Valentine's Day is for kids or for people who are dating. Anything romantic needs to stay totally out of the office environment. The term office spouse it utterly inappropriate, particularly among married people.
Re: Valentine's Day at the Office?
Can I get a Ricochet spouse?
When I was bouncing around County politics here in NJ, my wife hated going to the functions. So I had a "political wife" who I went to all the fundraisors with (with my wife's blessing). We would walk in together, work the room and not see each other for 2 hours, then leave together.
It beats walking in alone.
May '10
Re: Valentine's Day at the Office?
But it doooesssnnn't. (that was my sing-songy teasing voice)
Re: Valentine's Day at the Office?
Catherine Lynch: Anything romantic needs to stay totally out of the office environment.
Pretty sure everyone agrees on that, especially the folks in HR. But the concept of the "office spouse" as defined by Sue Shellenbarger in the article I linked to describes a strictly platonic close friendship between colleagues.
As someone who works from home and interacts with my colleagues almost exclusively via skype, I certainly don't have an office spouse. But the concept doesn't seem that bizarre to me.
May '10
Re: Valentine's Day at the Office?
Not me. I know, I know, what a fun hater. I just dislike the term so much. To me, calling someone your "office husband" (or whatever) implies an inappropriate attachment or is an intentional swipe at the specialness of the spousal relationship.
Edited on Feb 9, 2011 at 1:27pmMay '10
Re: Valentine's Day at the Office?
I never thought a ricochet post would make me glad to be a stay at home mom. I did have fleeting thoughts of returning to work last week when all the kids had a stomach bug. But I think even having to clean up vomit might be preferable to office drama. I did have what you might call a "work spouse" at my last job, but he was much older. I wouldn't have given him a V day card, though.
Oct '10
Re: Valentine's Day at the Office?
Diane I understand what the article is saying, however I find the term to be inappropriate and gift giving to a co-worker on Valentines Day to be poor judgment. Valentines Day is like I said either for kids or people like you who are dating. If you want to acknowledge your work buddy Valentines Day isn't the day for it. I work in an office primarily with men and giving one of them a gift or card on that day is just wrong. I have exceptionally good relationships with a few of them and one of the primary reasons for that is nothing is confused with romance.
Re: Valentine's Day at the Office?
Karen: I never thought a ricochet post would make me glad to be a stay at home mom.
I'm pleased to have affirmed indirectly your career as a mother!
(Side note: I wish that people weren't such sticklers on split infinitives. I'd much rather have said "to have indirectly affirmed," but I didn't want to catch the grief for it)