Turkey, Embracing Free Markets--or Watching My Every Move and Plotting Against Me?
Directly on the heels of my extolling the virtues of privatization as embodied in the customer service of Türk Telekom and TTNET, both my phone and my Internet went stone-cold dead. A morning of calling and begging led to the promise that technicians would arrive at 3:45 to investigate. Ideologically committed to the the belief that these companies are committed to me, I waited for them--trusting as a baby duckling!--at precisely 3:45. No one showed up at 3:45. There is a lesson here about ideological commitment, I'm sure.
I spent 45 minutes trying to get through to the Free Market but kept accidentally calling the People's Republic, which told me that there was no record of my calling, that no one could come to check out the situation until tomorrow, and no, they couldn't say when.
After this, the phone rings again--TTNET, Invisible Hand Division, lavish apologies, the service team is running late but they'll be here right away. What on earth is going on, I ask? I just spoke to you guys and you said you'd be here tomorrow. That's a different team, she says; we're the VIP team. It says in your file that you're an important customer. Five minutes later another one calls--the team is there, but they say they can't find you. The call is cut off. I call back, reach someone else who has no record of this. No less than eight phone calls ensued. TTNET apologizes for Türk Telekom, hinting strongly that they're scoundrels who tell customers untruths and bring shame upon TTNET. The phone and Internet meanwhile blink back to life as mysteriously as they shuttered out in the first place. TTNET calls: The team is apparently en route and will be here within minutes--they've been saying this for 90 minutes. No need, I say, it's all working. No, it's not! They reply. We're not happy with your connection speed, we insist upon giving you not just good service, but unimaginably good service. Stay put! The team is en route! Five minutes later, they call again. The team is lost. Please hold. Cellphone goes dead. Then the landline rings: Hello, this is Türk Telekom, how is your phone? Well, I say slowly: I just answered it, didn't I? Okay, they say cheerfully, good evening!
Two minutes later, another call: They went to my old address. Please hold, we're calling the supervisor. Line goes dead. (Shortly before all this drama erupted, a friend came over to visit. His phone rang as we were speaking. He answered it, looked puzzled, then hung up. Who was that, I asked? "My bank," he said. "They called to put me on hold.")
Finally the A-Team shows up--the really nice guys in the black suits. They tell me that they suspect the problem was that in their effort to provide me not just good service but unimaginably good service, someone got a little overexcited and accidentally cut through the phone cables.
In the end, they fixed everything and offered to help me with a few other household odds and ends. They were really incredibly nice. Meanwhile, my light-brown and bright-white cats unaccountably took a shine to their impeccably-pressed black suits. "Not a problem!" They insisted. "We love cats! Love them!"
"Thank you so much," I said to the A-Team leader as they left, "for all the time you've spent on this."
"It's our duty to fix your problems," he said, beaming proudly.
I don't understand any of this. I'm just glad the phone's working again.
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Comments :
May '10
Re: Turkey, Embracing Free Markets--or Watching My Every Move and Plotting Against Me?
Check for bugs?
Aug '10
Re: Turkey, Embracing Free Markets--or Watching My Every Move and Plotting Against Me?
Claire, how can you afford to be as trusting as a baby ducking when you live surrounded by cats?
Oct '10
Re: Turkey, Embracing Free Markets--or Watching My Every Move and Plotting Against Me?
It appears that you enjoy drama in your life, Claire. That being said, stay where you are; I enjoy reading about your cultural adventures.
Jul '10
Re: Turkey, Embracing Free Markets--or Watching My Every Move and Plotting Against Me?
Wow, Franz Kafka in the Magic Kingdom.
May '10
Re: Turkey, Embracing Free Markets--or Watching My Every Move and Plotting Against Me?
Claire - I have your answer!
Aug '10
Re: Turkey, Embracing Free Markets--or Watching My Every Move and Plotting Against Me?
Just think of the poor agent that will have to transcribe the recordings. But is definitely time to send Claire some new music. I'm thinking Lil Wayne, Tec9 and Pitbull would liven up the Turkish intel a bit.
She needs to quit playing Telemann all day and drop it to the floor.
May '10
Re: Turkey, Embracing Free Markets--or Watching My Every Move and Plotting Against Me?
What he said.
Aug '10
Re: Turkey, Embracing Free Markets--or Watching My Every Move and Plotting Against Me?
flownover
Just think of the poor agent that will have to transcribe the recordings. But is definitely time to send Claire some new music. I'm thinking Lil Wayne, Tec9 and Pitbull would liven up the Turkish intel a bit.
She needs to quit playing Telemann all day and drop it to the floor.
That may not surprise 'em as much as you think. Turkish pop is already... how should I put it...
(Don't ask me how I know. But I hear Turkish girls went absolutely bonkers over this one -- translation here.)
Sep '10
Re: Turkey, Embracing Free Markets--or Watching My Every Move and Plotting Against Me?
There's one cat that everyone forgets about, because no one ever suspects him. There's a reason your Men In Black love cats Ms. Berlinski.
Dec '10
Re: Turkey, Embracing Free Markets--or Watching My Every Move and Plotting Against Me?
There's something on Orion's belt....
Aug '10
Re: Turkey, Embracing Free Markets--or Watching My Every Move and Plotting Against Me?
So, it appears to me that it isn't so much that TTNET offers amazing customer service in general.
Rather that they're very good at providing amazing customer service to foreign journalists (and other VIPs) because they want foreign journalists to have a positive impression of them so they'll write nice things about them.
I usually don't like trading in conspiracy theories, but this is an ISP we're talking about. If anybody would be technically able to automate the process of ranking the PR value of their customers by analyzing their online traffic, it would be an ISP.
If you spend all your time online wasting time at www.cheezburger.com or playing World of Warcraft, you're lower on the customer service priority list. If you're an international journalist who spends all your time online filing stories to media outlets around the world, the server automatically flags your account as "one who must be pampered."
Am I being too paranoid?
Aug '10
Re: Turkey, Embracing Free Markets--or Watching My Every Move and Plotting Against Me?
Just imagine if you were an O.U.P. (ordinary unimportant person). I suspect your experience is unrepresentative of theirs.
Re: Turkey, Embracing Free Markets--or Watching My Every Move and Plotting Against Me?
Mis, Paul--
I added this update in the spirit of fair and comprehensive reporting. Yes, clearly parts of this are representative of the service an OUP would get and parts of it are ... not. What's hilarious (hilarious today, yesterday I was practically having a hemorrhage) is that they clearly have me in the system as both. And one hand over there doesn't know what the other one is washing.
My most charitable explanation is that the company is modernizing fast and has the best of intentions, but still has a few kinks to work out. The focus on PR, rather than detail, is absolutely typical of Turkey. That's funny in this case, not funny at all when it comes to the city's earthquake preparation plans. It wouldn't surprise me at all if Mist's theory has some truth to it--in fact I'd say it's clearly likely--but they wouldn't have to be analyzing my browsing habits to figure it out. I did after all stress this in my communication with them. Heck, I even signed my letters to them "Dr.," a prefix I reserve exclusively for customer-service emergencies.
Nov '10
Re: Turkey, Embracing Free Markets--or Watching My Every Move and Plotting Against Me?
Good sir! How dare you impugn the good name of the mighty cheezburger[interrobang]
Aug '10
Re: Turkey, Embracing Free Markets--or Watching My Every Move and Plotting Against Me?
Is that an example of the shame culture, as opposed to a guilt culture?