Tie me off, Mom, it's lunchtime
We ran a lot of Public Service Announcements on my old radio show, alas. Ad reps found it hard to sell that coveted 11:51 PM slot, so we’d have PSAs telling people not to smoke dope. Also, please join the Coast Guard. Also, only you can prevent forest fires. Unless you are in the Coast Guard. This message has been brought to you by the Ad Council, which is dedicated to filling air time so the host can run down the hall to the bathroom.
The ads were always stiff or dull or painful, like they’d brought over the creative team from East Germany. (“We’re the team who came up with the slogan, “The wall looks the same on the other side, so why bother?’) It was a mystery: ad people can make you want to buy Corn-flavored Ice Cream if they try hard, but give them a Big Issue and they act like someone who couldn’t sell a pail of water to someone whose pants were on fire.
Here’s the latest one making the rounds:
Nice lean protein-packed beef, a bun, good ol’ Fancy Ketchup = intravenous drug use. It’s not as bad as last week’s festival of Exploding Children, but it’s the other side of the bloody coin: the dreary, miserable, scolding soul of our Betters.
(NOTE: video not showing up in preview; I'm sure the mods will fix, but the link will take you to the YouTube site.)
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Aug '10
Re: Tie me off, Mom, it's lunchtime
I dunno... That cadaverous, hollow-eyed lady playing the mother looks like she could use her hamburger.
May '10
Re: Tie me off, Mom, it's lunchtime
I thought this was going to another Vicar of Dibley splattergore snuff film about exploding children. Or cratering poley bears. For the planet.
Do you remember when they started banning smoking and we said it was the thin end of the wedge and they'd ban Twinkies next? Or salt. Or soft drinks. Or chocolate milk.
And then they told us we were paranoid loons? I have but one thing to say about this (using a suitably Olympian voice): Release the Cookie Monster!
Jun '10
Re: Tie me off, Mom, it's lunchtime
We have more than one person in the family tree that lived 90-years-plus on pork sausage and eggs for breakfast, roast beef for lunch, pork chops for dinner, all topped off with some kind of rich buttery dessert. They were livestock farmers. That's what they had--meat, eggs, whole milk, and butter. They ate a lot, and they worked a lot. I doubt that you could substitute heroin and get the same result.
Edited on Oct 4, 2010 at 12:17pmMay '10
Re: Tie me off, Mom, it's lunchtime
Someone writes "_____ is the moral equivalent to Hitler" every five minutes and 37 seconds in America. Are you addicted to metaphors?
It affects two out of every three political writers and bloggers in the world. It starts innocently enough and before you know it you're PhotoShopping Barack Obama's face onto someone else's body.
Then it leads to full blown Political Figure Derangement Syndrome... frothing at the mouth and worse.
Metaphors. It's like your brains were eggs... frying in a pan of drugs... or something.
This message was brought to you by the Ad Council.
Aug '10
Re: Tie me off, Mom, it's lunchtime
It also occurs to me that one "cure" for America's obesity problem would be to bring smoking and heroin back.
Europeans smoke more than Americans and they are less obese. Dancers are known to smoke to stay thin (though you'd think they might want to keep their lungs in good shape for the aerobics of dancing). Ergo, smoking is a cure for obesity.
And heroin can make you thin as all get-out.
Perhaps I should write the First Lady with my bright idea and get a federal grant.
Oct '10
Re: Tie me off, Mom, it's lunchtime
As I mentioned in the thread about conservatism, their is no humour on the left. And it seems to be getting worse. Both this ad and the exploding "Piggy" ad (those children really would have been well cast in Lord of the Flies) reveal a dark fascism.
Oct '10
Re: Tie me off, Mom, it's lunchtime
their = there oops
Aug '10
Re: Tie me off, Mom, it's lunchtime
Unfortunately I have a couple of siblings who would find nothing wrong with this ad. The nutrition nuts are almost as bad as the enviromentalist wackos.
It's like Pete Stark says, the federal government can do anything!
Oct '10
Re: Tie me off, Mom, it's lunchtime
Including terrifying children. I would hate to try to explain this to a child if they were so unfortunate as to see it.
Aug '10
Re: Tie me off, Mom, it's lunchtime
I'm reminded of this, which I keep thinking of more and more lately...
"Of all tyrannies, a tyranny exercised for the good of its victims may be the most oppressive. It may be better to live under robber barons than under omnipotent moral busybodies. The robber baron's cruelty may sometimes sleep, his cupidity may at some point be satiated; but those who torment us for our own good will torment us without end, for they do so with the approval of their own conscience." - C. S. Lewis
(bold added by me)
It's not your responsibility to make sure I'm being 'healthy'.
Aug '10
Re: Tie me off, Mom, it's lunchtime
James, methinks you shoulda mentioned that this PSA is from Australia.
Until I looked it up, I assumed it was from Michelle Obama's crusade against food that tastes good.
Jul '10
Re: Tie me off, Mom, it's lunchtime
Two tactics of PSAs:
Either, or. There seems to be no middle ground. And no swaying of public opinion.
May '10
Re: Tie me off, Mom, it's lunchtime
Someone on the You Tube site quotes H.L. Mencken:
"The urge to save humanity is almost always a false front for the urge to rule."
- H. L. Mencken
I think that's perfect.
Edited on Oct 4, 2010 at 2:05pmMay '10
Re: Tie me off, Mom, it's lunchtime
President Obama announced a public-private partnership with McDonald's today to train their workers at community colleges... I wonder if he checked first with Michelle...
Aug '10
Re: Tie me off, Mom, it's lunchtime
Australia? That calls for a song:
(wobble board starts up)
(voiceover) There's a morbidly obese Australian kiddo, lying in a stupor at the kitchen table, dying, and he just barely gets himself up onto one elbow and says to his family as they gather 'round...
(singing) Tie me off for me lunch, Mum,
Edited on Oct 4, 2010 at 2:47pmTie me off for me lunch.
Of calories I need a bunch, Mum,
So tie me off for me lunch.
Altogether now...
Aug '10
Re: Tie me off, Mom, it's lunchtime
Somewhere there's an Ad Marketer that thought this was a good idea. I hadn't seen the Exploding Children ad yet either. My goodness these people are a bit off in the head.
Oct '10
Re: Tie me off, Mom, it's lunchtime
Actually, it really would be better to let that lad eat his hamburger and die (probably not as fast as if he got the heroin) as he is undoubtedly one of the youths that would need exploding.
May '10
Re: Tie me off, Mom, it's lunchtime
Did you see this on the feed today?
Aug '10
Re: Tie me off, Mom, it's lunchtime
Are you serious, Trace? What kind of idiot would need to attend a community college to work at McDonalds?
May '10
Re: Tie me off, Mom, it's lunchtime
The more you know...