Three Cats and a Road Trip: God Help Us
Moving season is once again upon military families and their pets. Nothing about this experience is easy. I cannot stress that enough. From the moment you realize you'd rather throw away everything you own than see it again; to when you accidently give away your kid’s favorite Red Rider wagon; to “gee, we now have to move three cats from D.C. to California,” it’s like trying to dig out the Panama Canal with a piece of string cheese. The realization about the cats was particularly fun, and took all of three minutes to conclude there was no alternative to driving them across the country. Just so you know, this is what crazy looks like. We’d never driven anywhere with these cats, because no one in their right mind drives around with cats. They are not happy-go-lucky, easy-going travelers. If they were, they’d be called dogs
Let us advance time now to driving day. Cats are preternaturally disposed to be passive aggressive when they feel put upon, which is always. Trying to get all three cats into carriers, while tying up last minute moving details and packing the car, proved just a little too much for one furry passenger. Lucy, my daughter’s cat, bolted into the woods behind our house, causing a two-hour delay in our departure. After pleading with God to bring the stupid cat back because telling my daughter, “We didn’t leave Lucy, Lucy left us,” would likely cost me money in therapy… the cat returned.
With a visual on all three cats, we began, by sheer human strength alone, putting them in cat carriers. Anyone who has ever tried to do this knows there is a direct relationship between a cat’s supernatural ability to resist being moved and the degree to which it is necessary to move them. Once loaded, we were ready to begin our adventure, or so we thought. Remember how I said nothing is easy?
I will now describe the first fifteen minutes of our trip. The 14 year-old cat begins to yowl, a rhythmic, constant, and loud, yowl. Lucy, the escape artist, goes quiet. Lily, the kitten, curls up and goes to sleep, because she is wonderful, and my favorite, a fact I frequently point out to the other two. Thinking, “this isn’t so bad,” I can live with one cat crying, I have an iPod, it happened. Ten minutes into the trip, the smell hits the front seats. Parents with babies will know what I’m talking about; where there’s smoke, there’s fire. I start laughing, because if you don’t have a sense of humor, you will throw yourself into traffic.
We stop at a gas station to check on the cats. The old cat was fine. The kitten was fine. Lucy was, well, you know that scene in “Dumb and Dumber” where Harry delivers the dogs to the dog show after rolling them around in the back of the truck at top speed? She and her cage looked strikingly similar. She had gone into shock, was foaming at the mouth, and was the culprit of the “smell.” This was going to be a fun six days.
Did I mention we still had to drop off the cable box at the mall? So we go to the mall, to drop off the cable box. At which point, I elect to take care of the cat, because being in a locked car with a potentially psychotic cat and cleaning a cage was preferable to dealing with Verizon. I eventually got the cage clean, and was able to finally calm Lucy down; and though my repeated attempts to force-feed her water by yelling “DRINK!” failed, she did manage to arrive alive, to a happy little girl.
Have you ever had a fun experience traveling with pets? Please share. As an aside, I completely understand now why someone might strap a pet to the roof.
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May '10
Re: Three Cats and a Road Trip: God Help Us
How did you clean the cage? Did the gas station have a small bathroom, so the cat couldn't escape when you removed her? Or did you have a leash? Surely, she didn't remain in the crate.
I have never moved an animal. But I did take a psychotic cat to the vet once for a shot and swab. He yowled so loud and long that the vets told us not to bring him back because he scared the other animals. Heck, he scared the vets. It was the creepiest sound I ever heard — nothing like a cat.
Re: Three Cats and a Road Trip: God Help Us
I laughed and laughed while reading this post. And now I feel a little guilty for laughing at your misfortune. Godspeed!
May '12
Re: Three Cats and a Road Trip: God Help Us
Doesn't driving cross country with 1 Cat qualify for a Purple Heart?
And 3 Cats ... a Croix de guerre?
If yours are anything like mine (the vets gave us sedatives to slow her down for the next checkup - she's a two-blanket diva), I salute you!
Edited on June 26, 2012 at 8:21pmNov '10
Re: Three Cats and a Road Trip: God Help Us
Oh, yeah--we drove a couple of cats from San Diego to northern Montana. And one cat ran away when we almost had him in the carrier, and my brother and I had to search the neighborhood for him.
We first had the cats in these appealing little individual carriers with netting. They hated this. They made a lot of noise and a smelly mess. So we made an emergency stop at Wal-Mart in Escondido or somewhere right outside San Diego and purchased one large carrier. One of the small carriers went right into a trash bin outside Wal-Mart. No way I was going to haul that thing around and try to clean it up.
The large carrier was much better. They were pretty quiet the rest of the trip, only yowling when we went around corners and stuff. Then we had to bother with asking about pet policies at the hotel.
I hope never again.
Edited on June 26, 2012 at 8:27pmJun '10
Re: Three Cats and a Road Trip: God Help Us
As a military family, this may resonate (with a few changes to inject some military terms): "Dog's have a master [or in your case, he's a PFC and you're a General], cat's have a staff [that's you and everyone else in your family]."
In other words, PFC Efferson, you have three Generals in the car. May the Good Lord bless you.
BTW, I've loved your posts. Please keep them coming.
Edited on June 26, 2012 at 8:29pmOct '10
Re: Three Cats and a Road Trip: God Help Us
Did you give them Kitty Valiums ? Usually a good plan.
Aug '10
Re: Three Cats and a Road Trip: God Help Us
I've gone on a four-hour car ride with my kitty, and it wasn't much of a problem. I bet he could handle a cross-country trek.
However, there are caveats:
Basically, the car was turned into a kitty limo, and I was his driver.
Mar '11
Re: Three Cats and a Road Trip: God Help Us
Dogs are fine. While my wife had the minivan and the children, I drove the U-haul with my wonderful golden retriever Dinah, travling from Minnesota to Virginia. My dog and my wife were always competitors.
Nov '11
Re: Three Cats and a Road Trip: God Help Us
I was a military brat. For the first 9 of his 26 years of military service, dad was in the Navy at sea on aircraft carriers most of the time, so mom managed a three-toddler household pretty much all by herself, including several cross country moves. (The situation did improve after dad switched to the Air Force.)
Several decades ago, after dad had switched from the Navy to the Air Force, he was sent TDY for 6 months to California. As soon as school let out, my mom loaded us three kids (aged 8 to 12) into our old jalopy with no A/C for a drive across Route 66 from Texas across the western deserts to Edwards AFB. Mom wanted to be with her man. Once she set her mind on something, she was unstoppable.
She knew better than to tell my dad in advance she was driving us kids by herself across the western desert in an unreliable old car. So when we showed up in California out of the blue, my dad's face reflected the oddest combination of the most extreme anger combined with the most insuppressible joy.
Military moms!
Edited on June 26, 2012 at 10:44pmJan '11
Re: Three Cats and a Road Trip: God Help Us
I agree with Chimay. Our usual moving routine while on active duty was my lovely wife in one car with all but one of the boys and the dog, one boy, and me in the rental truck. The dog usually sat quietly at foot of the passenger seat.
I will caution you though, if you ever have to move without the benefit of a military travel office, you will appreciate how easy they actually make it.
Sep '11
Re: Three Cats and a Road Trip: God Help Us
I've done big moves twice with two cats and a Great Dane. Once from Texas to Syracuse, and four years later, a return move. The cats didn't like it either time, but the second trip was a bit easier, because I had the sense to desensitize them to their crates, for several weeks before the second move. After the trip to Syracuse, the sound of the crate sent the cats into the smallest hidey holes they could find. Before the second move I fed them ever closer to the crates, and eventually in the crates. I was able to get them much less terrified of getting in them and being in them. One of the cats had a great deal more anxiety (this one responded as Lucy did most times in the crate--even on short trips to the vet), so that one also got a kitty downer, and I found a calming spray that seemed to help.
Feb '11
Re: Three Cats and a Road Trip: God Help Us
Croatia: A tail of adventure
Travelling to Croatia with the family seemed an easy enough feat for David McWilliams, until they decided to accommodate a canine companion and travel by road and boat
This is not my trip, but it was such a wonderful read...
http://www.independent.ie/travel/travel-destinations/croatia-a-tail-of-adventure-2516047.html
Dec '10
Re: Three Cats and a Road Trip: God Help Us
My cat never arrived at the vet clean...
Sep '10
Re: Three Cats and a Road Trip: God Help Us
Long ago, when I was young and away at camp, the family Siamese cat experienced a urine blockage. Cat was sick, miserable, could not pee. No cat carrier, so the cat was put in the back seat of the (new) car while Dad drove to the veterinarian's office and Mom watched the cat.
Cat was panicky, ran from side to side in the back seat, yowling, while Mom tried to control him, unsuccessfully. More yowling.
Urine blockage suddenly cured as cat ran back and forth, spraying three days' worth of cat pee over the back seat of the new car, still yowling, Dad driving with clenched teeth.
The vet examined the cat, recommended a different diet, and gave Dad some chemical powder that miraculously took the smell away. We got a cat carrier.
Edited on June 26, 2012 at 11:27pmJan '11
Re: Three Cats and a Road Trip: God Help Us
We do regular weekend trips with at least one crated cat. She mews a bit then naps through the 2-3 hour drive (traffic). Recently started taking 5 kittens with us. This Sunday on the way home, 1 distressed kitten did her business. Pulled into a turnout & with traffic speeding by moved kittens to an unsullied carrier, cleaned the mess & back on the road. Nearly home & had to make a stop. Another kitten made a mess but dear husband was with them & cleaned that mess. The quiet old cat glared at the interlopers. Anyone want a kitten?
Nov '10
Re: Three Cats and a Road Trip: God Help Us
No, thank you!
Apr '12
Re: Three Cats and a Road Trip: God Help Us
Two cats, both from my folks' place halfway across state (Washington), and... well, they think they're dogs or possibly humans, so never had a problem. Even when we moved from Spokane to Seattle, where we packed the dog cage into the van, they moaned less than I did. Got the cage because it was cheaper than the airplane ones, best idea I ever had about them.
Don't ask me about kids, though. Between the toddler and the baby, it managed to roughly echo your story....
Aug '10
Re: Three Cats and a Road Trip: God Help Us
dogsbody: Long ago, when I was young and away at camp, the family Siamese cat experienced a urine blockage. Cat was sick, miserable, could not pee. No cat carrier, so the cat was put in the back seat of the (new) car while Dad drove to the veterinarian's office and Mom watched the cat.
Cat was panicky, ran from side to side in the back seat, yowling, while Mom tried to control him, unsuccessfully. More yowling.
Urine blockage suddenly cured as cat ran back and forth, spraying three days' worth of cat pee over the back seat of the new car, still yowling, Dad driving with clenched teeth.
The vet examined the cat, recommended a different diet, and gave Dad some chemical powder that miraculously took the smell away.
If you wanna look at the silver lining, feline urinary blockages can easily be fatal.
Maybe your dad should have written a paper for a veterinary journal to promote this radical emergency treatment! ;-)
Aug '10
Re: Three Cats and a Road Trip: God Help Us
My theory is that for the first five or ten minutes they assume you're taking them to the vet, and they settle down once they realize that's not the intended destination. ;-)
Re: Three Cats and a Road Trip: God Help Us
I just thought of something while reading this wonderful post. I see other truck drivers take dogs as companions on the road all the time. Even saw a lady trucker drive by once with a parakeet on her shoulder. But in almost 9 years on the road, ...no cats. Hmmmm