Thinking and Feeling: The Tell
Several weeks ago, while on an annual fly-fishing trip with several other authors (we were in Idaho this time), we engaged in a late-night alcohol-fueled discussion about politics. Being the only right-of-center guy in our group -- the others hail from right and left coasts -- it was three against one, just the way I like it (I'm kidding, but I held my own).
As the argument grew louder and more heated -- but never personal or vicious which is why we remain friends -- they went on about how much they liked and admired Obama and despised the evil Mormon wife-killer and tax-cheat Romney, I began to note a "tell" in their arguments that I've noticed before and which became more pronounced as the night went on.
One of them would say something like, "I feel Obama has done the best he could given the hand he was dealt..."
Or, "I feel like the super-rich should pay more in taxes..."
I would respond by saying, "I think it's wrong to try to make our country more like Europe..."
Or, "I think a thirty-five percent tax rate is just too high if we want the economy to grow..."
Blah-blah-blah. You know the arguments. But what I noted was the tell: Lefties feel and Righties think. Obviously, this is not news. The left is emotion-based and the right is logic-based. Both sides are pretty sure they're on the correct side.
Words mean things, and the choice of words reveals quite a lot. When someone starts a statement by saying, "I feel..." I prepare myself for a bowl full of mush. But when someone says, "I think..." I listen. I may disagree, but I listen.
Sometimes, I hear someone right-of-center say, "I feel..." --with all due respect to Mr. Long on the Ricochet podcast, for example --and it throws me off. I chalk it up to being surrounded by lefties and hearing it so much that it bleeds into common language.
By beginning a sentence with "I feel..." the person speaking has made a choice to frame the statement in emotion, not logic -- unless, of course, the statement is about feelings ("I feel kind of ashamed for calling out Mr. Long on his own website.") Which is okay.
What do you think? Is "I think..." vs. "I feel..." the most obvious "tell" in the language when it comes to determining someone's political viewpoint?
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Aug '10
Re: Thinking and Feeling: The Tell
CJ
How many card games have been replaced by this game ?
Whatever happened to the mix of money , bluff , and skill that came with a perfectly fine metric ?
I think it' s a bad trade .
I feel it's a generational narcissism .
And my boomer group }) is the crummiest generation .
Hit me-
Edited on August 31, 2012 at 1:50amOct '10
Re: Thinking and Feeling: The Tell
The "I" reference is the most commonly used item in the verbal exchange between folks. Converse without it's use and see what happens.
May '10
Re: Thinking and Feeling: The Tell
I see this a lot when I discuss issues with folks. I witnessed it very acutely here in Wisconsin in the past year and a half (I'm a public schoolteacher). I had a number of run-ins (unsolicited) with some of the "feelings" crowd. Feelings+Righteous Indignation=volatile mix. The very few who quietly sought me out to for discussion using the "think" method produced much longer discussions and, at least, respectful agree-to-disagree conclusions. This will always be the case.
Jan '11
Re: Thinking and Feeling: The Tell
When arguing with the Left (and even some on the Right), take some pages from Arthur C. Brooks -- make the moral case for liberty.
And those 'feelings' by your Lefty ideological opponent -- those ones about how they want to help the disadvantaged should be met with, "Why don't you help them, privately, then?" When they counter that not enough people would be willing to go along with it voluntarily, ask them, "Why do you feel this way...certainly there are enough; look how many people talk as you do."
They'll come up with something else. When they do, tell them that giving discriminately would create the right conditions/incentives for those who get assistance to have their acts cleaned-up. And that more cleaned-up acts and better character being demonstrated is a good thing, right?
At every turn, an argument backed by first principles should trump the one by those who'd push for coercion. And if there must be some amount of coercion involved, it's best to be at the local level of government as possible. Shouldn't matter how outnumbered one is if you play it 'Right' => !!!
Mar '11
Re: Thinking and Feeling: The Tell
A former boss used to red-pencil any use of "I feel" in my writing. I'm grateful.
Re: Thinking and Feeling: The Tell
'Sometimes, I hear someone right-of-center say, "I feel..." --with all due respect to Mr. Long on the Ricochet podcast, for example --and it throws me off.'
Yes, C.J., when it comes to Brother Rob, we all have to exercise a special patience.
(You are one engaging writer, btw.)
Aug '11
Re: Thinking and Feeling: The Tell
In the case of a lefty co-worker (an electrical engineer, normally not the "feel" type) it bleeds into technical discussions too, where it belongs even less. When talking about data people, including him, spent a lot of time (and sweat) taking: "Regardless of what this [the data] shows, I feel like..."
It may just be some trick of upbringing, region, or influential media, but I think there's a link between "I feel" and an unwillingness to consider the facts.
May '11
Re: Thinking and Feeling: The Tell
I agree about I think, and I feel, but what about "I'm struck"? As in:
"I’m always struck by people who think, well, it must be because I was just so smart. There are a lot of smart people out there. It must be because I worked harder than everybody else. Let me tell you something -- there are a whole bunch of hardworking people out there."
This, of course, is the missing "context" of Obama's "you didn't build that" comment. And I think the phrase "I'm struck" means "I'm contemptutous." It means "You didn't get there because you're smart or because you worked hard. Everybody does those things. You got there because you were lucky. And I feel... envy. Because you don't deserve success and I do." That's what it's all about. That's the main "feeling" they're not thinking about. Envy, pure and simple.
Or, maybe they just feel that being compassionate with other people's money makes them morally superior. But I don't think so.
Apr '11
Re: Thinking and Feeling: The Tell
The nice thing about "I feel..." is that it's irrefutable. Who's to say how you feel?
When someone says "I feel employers should pay for birth control" and you try to make a reasoned case against it the response is likely some form of "Unlike you, I'm a kind and compassionate person who cares about women's health." It's difficult to get anywhere with this.
May '11
Re: Thinking and Feeling: The Tell
"I feel" is taught and encouraged in interpersonal relationships. Maybe that's why it is favored by people on the left. I picked it up at Marriage Encounter back in the early 80s. It works in that context and it has it's place.
Just because someone uses that phrase, it does not necessarily mean that what follows is non-logical, weakly reasoned or wrong.
May '11
Re: Thinking and Feeling: The Tell
Paul Erickson:
"I feel" is taught and encouraged in interpersonal relationships. Maybe that's why it is favored by people on the left. I picked it up at Marriage Encounter back in the early 80s. It works in that context and it has it's place.
Just because someone uses that phrase, it does not necessarily mean that what follows is non-logical, weakly reasoned or wrong. · 2 minutes ago
No, not necessarily. But as some great but unintentional New England philosopher once said, "jes so happens."
Re: Thinking and Feeling: The Tell
Excellent point. How can someone's feelings possibly be "wrong."
Re: Thinking and Feeling: The Tell
Thank you so much, Mr. Robinson. That means a lot to me coming from you.
Re: Thinking and Feeling: The Tell
SMG:
It may just be some trick of upbringing, region, or influential media, but I think there's a link between "I feel" and an unwillingness to consider the facts. · 37 minutes ago
Another brilliant point. I feel you Ricochet members are smart as whips.
Aug '10
Re: Thinking and Feeling: The Tell
I'm struck by the cleaving tautology of .......zzzzzzzzzzzzzz
typical navel gazing
let's get back to the argument , preferably the game . one card~
Re: Thinking and Feeling: The Tell
flownover: I'm struck by the cleaving tautology of .......zzzzzzzzzzzzzz
typical navel gazing
let's get back to the argument , preferably the game . one card~ · 6 minutes ago
Color me baffled.
Nov '11
Re: Thinking and Feeling: The Tell
C.J. Box
Excellent point. How can someone's feelings possibly be "wrong." · 1 hour ago
That is the whole point: feelings can be wrong. Not that the feeling isn't real, but the feeling can be based on an incorrect assumption, an inappropriate reaction (feeling) to something, etc. Ask Dennis Prager, for instance.
Re: Thinking and Feeling: The Tell
Peter Robinson: 'Sometimes, I hear someone right-of-center say, "I feel..." --with all due respect to Mr. Long on the Ricochet podcast, for example --and it throws me off.'
Yes, C.J., when it comes to Brother Rob, we all have to exercise a special patience.
(You are one engaging writer, btw.) · 3 hours ago
I think I feel okay about this.
Mar '12
Re: Thinking and Feeling: The Tell
The "feeling" thing paved the way to the ending every sentence with a question thing. Either way, disagreements are foreclosed. This is just my take, you know? E Pluribus Mushum.
Jun '12
Re: Thinking and Feeling: The Tell
I go with "I believe" myself. That way, if I believe it because it is a value argument I can argue about the values (which are often feeling based), if it is a factual dispute I can then argue about the facts which inform my opinions. Since many of the arguments I make have elements of both think and feel, it allows me to make them all.
Edited on August 31, 2012 at 7:09am