Their Apartments, Themselves
I have never lived alone. I am the youngest child in my family. I had housemates after college. And I went straight from living with housemates to getting married. Within a year, we had our first child. I loved my family as a child, had fantastic housemates, and a great family now. So I'm not complaining. Still, living alone is that unattainable thing I fixate on from time to time.
But after reading this puffy New York Times piece on how awesome (and quirky!) those millennials (and others) who live alone are, it's enough to make me feel just fine about my living situation. The single-occupant home, we're told, is a breeding ground for eccentricities. But those eccentricities sound remarkably similar to what life in the Hemingway household is like on its worst days -- pants you only wear at home and clothing tossed in inappropriate places. Or:
Among her domestic oddities: running in place during TV commercials; speaking conversational French to herself while making breakfast (she listens to a language CD); singing Journey songs in the shower; and removing only the clothes she needs from her dryer, thus turning it into a makeshift dresser.
Are we really to believe that these things are that eccentric, much less only achievable by living alone? I know tons of people who exercise during commercial breaks (or tidy up or whatever). I not only sing Journey in the shower, I play their albums (possibly unironically) during the dance parties my children and I have each and every afternoon. Now, that dryer business? That's just inefficient.
And yet as these anecdotes go on -- one woman says she never shuts the bathroom door, mon frere! -- I wonder if the big problem is that living alone makes you think that you're the center of the universe. A special little flower.
Again, I would love the pleasures of living alone and I would love to read an article about the real pleasures (and eating a roasted sweet potato and nothing else for dinner isn't exactly what I'd call a real pleasure, OK?). But to write a puff piece about the joys of bathrooms without doors and odd dinner creations without either digging into life as an introvert or the downsides associated with living alone (you know, like it could kill you) is just odd.
Now if you'll excuse me, I'm off to drink some pickle juice straight out of the jar and pretend I'm just as special as these eccentric young whipper snappers. Just kidding. But I am kind of curious about your (or your housemates') eccentricities.
- Comment (33)
- · Quote
- · UnfollowFollow (2)
- Pages:
- 1
- 2
Comments:
May '11
Re: Their Apartments, Themselves
As someone who has lived alone for the past several years, I find some of the behavior mentioned here bizarre. Singing in the shower? Wearing PJs all day? Chilli dogs and cookies at the keyboard? Wow, reminds me of ...
Opps, me! Never mind.
Aug '11
Re: Their Apartments, Themselves
The NYTimes Lifestyle section is always a hoot, anyway. It seems to be written by a bunch of self-absorbed people who suddenly discover something the rest of us accept as commonplace. You know, like parenting! "How unexpectedly weird!" says the New York Times. "You have this little person in your house and you have to raise it! It's so bizarre!"
I'm always amazed by how they can make the common passages of life sound like excursions into unexplored lands.
Edited on February 24, 2012 at 8:02pmDec '10
Re: Their Apartments, Themselves
Dear Mollie,
I am 59 years old. I have lived alone for a very very long time. In Beresheit (Genesis) when Gd creates Woman, He says that it is not good for man to be alone. Gd is right. I am sure that it works in reverse also. It is not good for Woman to be alone either.
Unfortunately, anything you do for a long period of time you will get better at. I am very good at living alone. Perhaps too good. I suppose I am a tough customer in a relationship. Maybe too tough.
Perhaps Gd will change things for me, as he did for Adam.
Regards,
Jim
Dec '10
Re: Their Apartments, Themselves
Nathaniel Wright: "So NYT has essentially printed an article: People who live alone do things that they'd only do if they regularly expect no one else to be around.
Except they are things that people do when they live with compatible people around whom they feel comfortable.
I break out into song at random at home. My wife and kids don't seem to mind. I'll talk in a bad accent for a day. I'll grow a goatee just to assume an "evil twin" personality for a week.
I play role playing games -- with friends over. I wear pjs all day when I'm not planning on going outside. · 35 minutes ago
You are working on hero status in my eyes. I recommend only speaking to your children in opera. I love doing it, and it's growing on the children.
Re: Their Apartments, Themselves
I spend a great deal of time alone,...but it fits well for some reason. Conversation is always a CB click away, or at the counter of nearest truck stop. Still, time spent with good music and good reading doesn't seem like time wasted to me. And then there's always the company I keep with the wonderful folks of Ricochet.
Nov '10
Re: Their Apartments, Themselves
It's actually pretty good (I've been on my own since my youngest set his sails 4 years ago). But then again, I do enjoy my own company, as well as that of a close circle of friends & neighbors, and the odd drop of Ricochet.
FWIW, I found the second article (about shortened lifespans for singles under 65) more interesting than the NYT article, I think that's more due to the greatest sustenance of life being its having meaning and purpose. Most, including myself, naturally find that in family and children; that drive seems to generalize - also quite naturally - with age.
Jul '10
Re: Their Apartments, Themselves
Mollie Hemingway, Ed.:
Now, that dryer business? That's just inefficient.
Oh, man, I do that. And it isn't inefficient, or a sign of eccentric special flowerness. It's just lazy.
I live alone and I work (and therefore live, even on my days off) at night. I really don't buy that it makes you paranoid or unusual, like some have been saying. I'd add more, but I have to adjust the tripwires on my booby traps and change the locks on the fridge.
Oct '10
Re: Their Apartments, Themselves
We are truly social animals and require that interaction. That being said, a home is also a needed refuge of sorts. Have more or less lived alone for years and have to agree it is not for everybody.
The idea that folks living alone tend to run about the place naked waving a rubber chicken in the air as a rule is absurd. Folks on the whole can be untidy, but one thinks self respect has the upper hand.
Did invest in a couple of dogs that tend to liven things up though.
Jul '10
Re: Their Apartments, Themselves
I must be eccentric. I prepare every one of My meals, I have those meals at a table like an adult on real dishes and utensils, I do all the laundry in one shot, and I have never entered a bathroom without closing the door behind Me. And I pitch and putt golf balls off the furniture throughout the house.
What I have a problem with is visiting other Families. At Home all the noise is manufactured by Me and Me alone. At others' Homes the noise level is intolerable. The footsteps, the doors, the cabinets, the faucets, the talking, the breathing..... it's deafening to Me.
Now excuse Me while I go pour Me a glass of pickle juice.
Edited on February 24, 2012 at 10:30pmMay '10
Re: Their Apartments, Themselves
A collection of stories that you disagree with: Anecdotal evidence that no conclusion should be drawn from.
A collection of stories in the NYT that you agree with: Great reporting concerning a new trend.
Apr '11
Re: Their Apartments, Themselves
1. I lived alone for several years between a major roommate falling-out and getting married. I loved nearly everything about it and am so glad to have had the experience (I have a loner streak a mile wide). And I love being married too--it's great to have someone to be a loner with. :-)
2. Clearly, Mollie, you have never dined on a roasted sweet potato loaded up with butter, walnuts, and brown sugar. I do this several times a month whether I'm alone for dinner or not.
Apr '11
Re: Their Apartments, Themselves
Oh, and Mollie, nice work on the post title.
Love. It.
Dec '11
Re: Their Apartments, Themselves
I was single for over a decade of my adult life and loved every minute of it! It didn't hurt that I was living in NYC and enjoying a more prudent version of the "Carrie Bradshaw" life. Wouldn't have traded those times for anything; but as the song says:
There is a season, turn, turn, turn...
Charlotte
1. I lived alone for several years between a major roommate falling-out and getting married. I loved nearly everything about it and am so glad to have had the experience (I have a loner streak a mile wide). And I love being married too--it's great to have someone to be a lonerwith. :-)
2. Clearly, Mollie, you have never dined on a roasted sweet potato loaded up with butter, walnuts, and brown sugar. I do this several times a month whether I'm alone for dinner or not.