The speech Obama won't make
One sign a columnist is strapped for ideas: the conversation with the cabbie. Another: “here’s the speech I wish Politician X would make.” (If you have a cabbie describe a speech he wished a politician would make, you’re doubly desperate to meet the deadline.) Both ideas should be placed in a box with a glass front and a small hammer on a chain: use only in case of emergency.
Anyway, enough shop talk. David Brooks has a column about the speech he wishes President Obama would make:
“Over the past several months, Republicans and Democrats have been fighting over what to do with the Bush tax cuts. I have my own views, but it’s not worth having a big fight over a tax code we all hate. Therefore, I’m suspending this debate. We will extend the Bush rates for everybody for one year, along with unemployment benefits. But during that year we will enact a comprehensive tax reform plan.
“The plan we will work on this year will look a bit like the 1986 reform plan. We will clean out the loopholes. We will take on the special interests. We will lower rates and make the tax code fair.”
Then Obama asks his aides to come up with a tax reform proposal he can lay before Congress. The State of the Union, he knows, is the one big chance he will have to redefine himself before the American people. On the big night, Obama stands before Congress. He gestures over to a giant stack of papers. “This is our tax code,” he tells the American people. “It’s rotten and we’re scrapping it.”
Yes, nothing cuts the Gordian knot like a sharp trouser-crease. When you write a speech for a politician, it’s your way of saying “I think this is who he really is,” despite all evidence to the contrary. Brooks, and others who projected upon the manque their hopes for a Really Smart Guy who would Do Important Stuff, seem to regard the President as a restless, protean intellect supremely interested in all the pressing problems of the Republic.
At the end, this sad note:
“If Obama moved vigorously on tax reform, starting at the State of the Union, he would vindicate my description of him, which would be nice.”
I’m sure it would.
- Comment (16)
- · Quote
- · UnfollowFollow (2)
Comments :
Jul '10
Re: The speech Obama won't make
You know, James, I was having a conversation with a cab driver just the other day.
I asked him, "You're a colored fellow, what do you think this President of yours ought to do now?"
He replied, "Well, I think he should go to the State of the Union with a speech about taxes. Rotten code, too many loopholes, yada, yada. But then, I'm from Nigeria, he's from Kenya, so what do I know?"
Edited on Dec 4, 2010 at 5:39pmAug '10
Re: The speech Obama won't make
Oh, is Brooks looking for a job as Obama's speechwriter?
Sep '10
Re: The speech Obama won't make
If Brooks's bootlicking were any more unseemly he'd be a leather tanner.
Jul '10
Re: The speech Obama won't make
James Lileks:
Yes, nothing cuts the Gordian knot like a sharp trouser-crease. When you write a speech for a politician, it’s your way of saying “I think this is who he really is,” despite all evidence to the contrary. Brooks, and others who projected upon the manque their hopes for a Really Smart Guy who would Do Important Stuff, seem to regard the President as a restless, protean intellect supremely interested in all the pressing problems of the Republic.
At the end, this sad note:
I’m sure it would. ·
Too damn good, Lileks. I hate you.
Jun '10
Re: The speech Obama won't make
The speech I wish Obama would make starts with the line: It is for the good of the country that effective today I tender my resignation.
Now that would be a real stem winder.
Dec '10
Re: The speech Obama won't make
"The Speech I Wish (X) Would Make" is only another, weaker, weaselly way of saying, "I Really Wish (X) Were The Man I Thought He Was Instead Of The Loser He Actually Is." The most amazing thing about Brooks's column is that he sort of admits that's what he's saying about Obama.
Jul '10
Re: The speech Obama won't make
James Lileks:
At the end, this sad note:
I’m sure it would. ·
Gunga galunga... gunga, gunga-lagunga.
Nov '10
Re: The speech Obama won't make
According to current White House gossip, ever since the mid-term elections, Obama has shown no real interest in anything except playing basketball and watching sports on TV. "Pressing problems," indeed.
Obama has a fragile personality and he is supremely lazy. Now that he has lost his edge in the House, he is not really interested in playing President, anymore. At this stage, I think he would much rather be Secretary General of the UN, as a position more befitting his exalted image of himself.
The UN can have him.
Jul '10
Re: The speech Obama won't make
Lady Kurobara
Obama has a fragile personality and he is supremely lazy.
Profoundly lazy. But what else would we expect? Neither of his parents ever held a real job or had any interest in child-rearing. He spent his formative years in Hawaii - an absolute mecca for lazy people. His male role model was a grandfather who sat at home collecting SSDI.
As an Affirmative Action student, he wasn't forced to compete. As a community organizer, he made about $10,000 a year, which probably over-compensated his level of effort. He hardly ever showed up for votes in the Illinois State Senate.
And almost as soon as he was seated in the U.S. Senate, he took what amounted to a leave of absence to run for the real prize: a job where he could play basketball, golf, hang out with celebrities, take vacations every month or so and jet around the world - on your dime.
Edited on Dec 4, 2010 at 8:40pmJul '10
Re: The speech Obama won't make
That's the best news I've heard since the midterms. We can only hope it will continue. Two years of a president doing nothing would be a huge boon. Two years of this president doing nothing? That's just too good to be true.
Dec '10
Re: The speech Obama won't make
Great post, JL. I have to admit that I was skeptical of you joining the podcast when Steyn took his leave this summer...but now I have Lileks fever, and the only prescription is more Lileks.
I have a question for the group: If David Brooks writes a not-so-veiled praiseworthy column of Barack Obama in the New York Times (or the woods, for all I care), and no actual conservatives waste their time wringing their hands over how much of an apostate the dude can be...does Brooks still get off on it?
All I'm saying here is that we divert a lot of time and energy with our weekly (or at least monthly) Brooks-bashings. Can we fish or cut bait with the guy?
I honestly am interested in peoples' thoughts. Do we need to keep wasting our time on David Brooks? I'm not a Brooks-hater, I just wonder how much effort I (as a young conservative) need to spend on him.
May '10
Re: The speech Obama won't make
Cut from the original article:
...and then President Obama would whisk Lady Obama onto his magical unicorn steed, Shadowfax. Sprouting wings, Shadowfax would take a running leap and glide over La-La Land as the adoring subjects proclaim their undying love for their Supreme Emperor. He would return their adoration with a liberal sprinkling of fairy dust to enable the enslaved to believe in Hope and Change. And that's how hunger and poverty were vanquished forever!
Or something like that.
Edited on Dec 5, 2010 at 12:20amMay '10
Re: The speech Obama won't make
Ouch Jimmy, "Yes, nothing cuts the Gordian knot like a sharp trouser-crease"
After that vivisection of President Obama's amour propre, and Brooks's sycophancy, there can't be much life left in either fellow. Surely it's time Brooks gave up on the wish fulfillment, and concentrated on the content of Obama's character.
I would not like to have your talent James, as with it I may be tempted to the dark side (OK well maybe not as far as the DFL). Please don't be tempted to write for Sen. Franken for big bucks.
Edited on Dec 5, 2010 at 6:04amOct '10
Re: The speech Obama won't make
R.J. Moeller:
All I'm saying here is that we divert a lot of time and energy with our weekly (or at least monthly) Brooks-bashings. Can we fish or cut bait with the guy?
I honestly am interested in peoples' thoughts. Do we need to keep wasting our time on David Brooks? I'm not a Brooks-hater, I just wonder how much effort I (as a young conservative) need to spend on him. · Dec 4 at 9:51pm
I sometimes wonder the same thing about MSNBC. It seems to me that half of its ratings are from Conservatives who then write about the horrible things they said on that network.
Do we make them (and Brooks) more relevant by talking about them all the time? Yeah, it's fun to do sometimes, but is it productive?
Aug '10
Re: The speech Obama won't make
David Brooks has a column about the speech he wishes President Obama would make:
The problem is that what Obama regards as fair is more or less the present tax code, in which "loopholes" are actually rewards for doing what his government wants you to do, and "special interests" are the groups that his government favors. For David Brooks to wish Obama to say such a thing is simply to wish Obama was a completely different person.
May '10
Re: The speech Obama won't make
Remind me again, how may cabinet secretaries failed to submit tax returns?