The Week in Review -- September 24
Troy Senik ·
Sep 24, 2011 at 6:52pm
- A group calling themselves “Occupy Wall Street” has spent the past week protesting in the nation’s financial capital. While the demonstrators’ intentions are ill-defined, photographs from the rallies seem to indicate that they are primarily protesting the regular use of conditioner.
- Americans were riveted throughout the week by coverage of a bus-sized piece of “space junk” set to enter the earth’s atmosphere at week’s end. NASA Administrator Charles Bolden was quoted as saying, “We hope that this will serve as an inspiration for the Islamic world to one day hurl six tons of its unwanted crap towards the earth at 17,500 miles per hour.”
- Congressman Emanuel Cleaver, Chairman of the Congressional Black Caucus, told McClatchy Newspapers, "If Bill Clinton had been in the White House and had failed to address this problem [unemployment], we probably would be marching on the White House." Upon being reminded that President Obama’s mother was white, members of the CBC immediately proceeded to march halfway down Pennsylvania Avenue.
- In a terrible misunderstanding, Federal Reserve Chairman Ben Bernanke got a “twist” in America’s monetary policy and an infusion of $600 billion in his gin martini.
- In an interview with television talk show host Rachael Ray, former President Bill Clinton said that he “had to pass” on an invitation to appear on the popular television series “Dancing with the Stars.” Reached for comment, a spokesperson for ABC said, “that’s the mildest euphemism I’ve ever head for having a restraining order issued against you.”
- Massachusetts U.S. senate candidate Elizabeth Warren told a Bay State crowd, “There is no one in this country who got rich on his own.” The statement was criticized by some conservatives for undervaluing the role of entrepreneurship, but held up as a sign of her philosophical consistency by liberal supporters, who cited her follow-up statement, “Now please write me an enormous check so I can smear the guy who grew up on welfare and drives a pick-up truck.”
- On Tuesday, the Los Angeles Times reported that actor Charlie Sheen will receive around $25 million in a settlement with Warner Brothers over his firing from the television show “Two and a Half Men.” Entertainment analysts said that the deal will provide some much-needed closure to the long-standing dispute over Sheen’s departure, while economic experts speculated that it will likely make up for the fact that the U.S. has yet to ratify its free trade agreement with Colombia.
- Christina Romer, former Chairwoman of the White House Council of Economic Advisers, was put on the spot this week after being quoted in journalist Ron Suskind’s new book, “Confidence Men”, saying that the Obama White House was a workplace hostile to women. Upon publication, Romer claimed that her remarks had been mischaracterized, saying, “What I was actually saying is that the White House was a hostile workplace for anyone who had ever taken an economics class.”
- WikiLeaks founder Julian Assange condemned British book publisher Canongate after the company announced plans to release his autobiography without his permission. In related news, God is still very much alive.
- Comment (13)
- · Quote
- · UnfollowFollow (2)
Comments :
Jun '10
Re: The Week in Review -- September 24
That photo reminds me of a story from my college days.
In a class, a professor was trying to find out why conservatives never "march" or "protest." He had asked the question twice, "why don't conservatives protest" and was clearly getting flustered. Finally he yelled, "SERIOUSLY, I want to know, why don't conservatives march and protest?!?!"
Suddenly a voice from the back of the room said in reply, "It's because we have jobs."
Nov '10
Re: The Week in Review -- September 24
Troy, Are you auditioning for Seth Meyers' job on Weekend Update?
(If so, please try to get the media to stop headlining liberals named Elizabeth; this is giving us a bad name).
Oct '10
Re: The Week in Review -- September 24
I smell a podcast in the same vein as the now posted "Martini Shot"...
Dec '10
Re: The Week in Review -- September 24
If it was raining in that picture I'd swear it was any workday in Seattle.
Jan '11
Re: The Week in Review -- September 24
In other news, Herman Cain just won the Florida straw poll.
Anyone care to guess how many votes he won by?
Wait for it.
999.
May '10
Re: The Week in Review -- September 24
That woman shaves her armpits?
We're winning.
May '11
Re: The Week in Review -- September 24
It turns out Elizabeth Warren was talking about herself and her $196,000 government salary.
Mar '11
Re: The Week in Review -- September 24
KC Mulville: In other news, Herman Cain just won the Florida straw poll.
Anyone care to guess how many votes he won by?
Wait for it.
999. · Sep 24 at 7:45pm
In the UK, that is the number you dial, like 911 in the US.
Seems appropriate.
And I think even Rino-squish-Rob would agree.
Sep '11
Re: The Week in Review -- September 24
Scott's comment, "That woman shaves her armpits???" and his conclusion, "We're winning!" was "spot on"! Still those silky underarms must have been the first thing any woman would have noticed. The second would have been the insipid, banal sign, (on cardboard yet), marking her "persona" as "Truly Authentic."
Is protesting like cheerleading??? Do you have to learn the steps and wear special outfits???? Are the routines really difficult or can just anybody do it who can keep her underarm hair out of sight???? Do you have to go to practice???
I'm afraid to ask if one can get college credit for a course in "Protesting" for fear that there already is not only a master's, but a developing Ph.D program to meet the growing demand for Protestors that is arising. We need to create these jobs!!!!!
That's it!!! My company, "Well Trained Protestors," will get money from the JOBS Bill, which will be funded pretty soon, I'd guess. As soon as they pass it, I mean.
Oct '10
Re: The Week in Review -- September 24
Have to ponder a TW3 view of current news with some SNL style humor. Just a thought.
May '10
Re: The Week in Review -- September 24
"To Who" rather than the more grammatical "To Whom" really pumped up her protestor bonafides. Clever, that woman.
Jul '10
Re: The Week in Review -- September 24
I found myself scratching my head, wondering who this mysterious "Towho" person is...
Jun '10
Re: The Week in Review -- September 24
Looks like your friends met an unlikely result to their protest, Troy.
Annnnd that's why we don't have riots, English friends.