Dave Carter · December 10, 2011 at 1:06am
Christmas Obama

In the spirit of the holidays, perhaps a small diversion might be in order. This is a reprise from last year, though with some small adjustments.  Hit it, Maestro:

On the first day of Obama, the President gave to me:
A tax cheat at the Treasury.

On the second day of Obama, the President said to me:
"I'll spread your wealth around, with the tax cheat at the Treasury."

On the third day of Obama, the President gave to me:
Three Black Panther goons to spread my wealth around, with that tax cheat at the Treasury.

On the fourth day of Obama, the President gave to me:
Four groping screeners, three Black Panther goons to spread my wealth around with that snot-nosed cheat at the Treasury.

On the fifth day of Obama, the President gave to me:
SIXTEEN THOUSAND IRS AGENTS! Four groping screeners, three Black Panther goons who knocked me to the ground, and gave my wallet to the Treasury.

On the sixth day of Obama, the President gave to me:
The Individual Mandate, by SIXTEEN THOUSAND IRS AGENTS! Four groping screeners, three belligerent thugs, to spread my wealth around, and that (expletive) at the Treasury.

On the seventh day of Obama, the President gave to me: 
A bill for my grandkids for the Individual Mandate by the SIXTEEN THOUSAND IRS AGENTS! Four groping screeners, three Black Panther goons who gave away my house, to that SOB at the Treasury.

On the eighth day of Obama, the President gave to me:
Trillions more in debt, with a bill to my grandkids, and the Individual Mandate by the SIXTEEN THOUSAND IRS AGENTS! Four pawing screeners, three common criminals, who shook a business down, and sent the proceeds to the Treasury.

On the ninth day of Obama, the President gave to me:
Shovel-ready speeches, 'bout the trillions in debt, with a bill to my grandkids, and the Individual Mandate with the SIXTEEN THOUSAND IRS AGENTS! Four peeping screeners, three Acorn perps, who registered my dog, who got a union job at Treasury.

On the tenth day of Obama, the President gave to me:
Dual teleprompters, for the shovel-ready speeches, 'bout the trillions in debt, with a bill to my grandkids, for the Individual Mandate, by the SIXTEEN THOUSAND IRS AGENTS! Four groping screeners, three pocket pickers who lifted my mom's purse, for the benefit of the Treasury.

On the eleventh day of Obama, the President gave to me:
A shredded Constitution, with dual teleprompters for the shovel ready speeches 'bout the trillions more in debt with a bill for my grandkids for the Individual Mandate by the SIXTEEN THOUSAND IRS AGENTS! Four feeling guards, three hired hoodlums who emptied my accounts, and dumped it all in the Treasury.

In next year's election, my country will hear from me:
Restore the Constitution, ditch the teleprompter and those infernal speeches, stop spending all those trillions that belong to our grandkids, repeal Obamacare, and FIRE ALL THOSE IRS AGENTS! Screeners screen for terrorists, tell your worthless thugs to go earn their own wealth, and restore some honor to the Treasury.

Comments:


wilber forge
Joined
Oct '10
wilber forge

 On speaking terms with Ray Stevens ? Grinz...

Paul A. Rahe

What a hoot!

Dave Carter
Paul A. Rahe: What a hoot! · Dec 9 at 6:42pm

High octane coffee! 

FeliciaB
Joined
May '10
FeliciaB

Love it!

FeliciaB
Joined
May '10
FeliciaB

Love it!  Loved it so much I had to write it twice, apparently.

Edited on December 10, 2011 at 4:24am
Dave Carter

FeliciaB: Love it!  Loved it so much I had to write it twice, apparently. · Dec 9 at 7:23pm

Edited on Dec 09 at 07:24 pm

I hear that can be fixed, ya know.

Maura Pennington, Guest Contributor

Let's all remember that that they went to Bethlehem to be taxed because they were millionaires.  Carpenters were a hot commodity under Herod.  Fleeing to Egypt was an economic choice given the political circumstances. 

Sisyphus
Joined
Jul '10
Sisyphus

Ahhh. Another seasonal classic. Looking forward to the terminal edition next December after Obama's sound thrashing.

Dave Carter
Maura Pennington, Guest Contributor: Let's all remember that that they went to Bethlehem to be taxed because they were millionaires.  Carpenters were a hot commodity under Herod.  Fleeing to Egypt was an economic choice given the political circumstances.  · Dec 9 at 7:35pm

I forget if they were riding on corporate donkeys.  Surely the occupy Nazareth movement had plenty to say.  

Ajax Telamônios
Joined
Jan '11
Ajax Telamônios

Absolute brilliance!
 

Andrea Ryan
Joined
May '10
Andrea Ryan

Dave, this should go viral.  You are seriously the king of humor and you use it better than a sword.

Paul A. Rahe

Dave Carter

Paul A. Rahe: What a hoot! · Dec 9 at 6:42pm

High octane coffee!  · Dec 9 at 7:05pm

I figured that your were high on something -- and giddy to boot.

Dave Carter

Paul A. Rahe

Dave Carter

Paul A. Rahe: What a hoot! · Dec 9 at 6:42pm

High octane coffee!  · Dec 9 at 7:05pm

I figured that your were high on something -- and giddy to boot. · Dec 10 at 7:49am

I had been in a self-imposed news blackout for a few days, which does wonders for one's general disposition and level of giddiness.  

tabula rasa
Joined
Jun '10
tabula rasa

Beautiful poetry--painful subject (Obama's depredations, not Christmas).

show RB's comment (#15)
RB
Joined
Feb '11
RB

With a little luck, this will go viral.

Ghost
Joined
Mar '11
TheGhost

Bravo!


Would you like to comment on this Conversation?

Become a Member for $3.67 a month.

Join the Conversation
Already a member? Sign In
Loading

Start your shopping here!

Help support Ricochet by making your purchases through our Amazon links.

Welcome Visitor!
Join  or  Sign In

Become a Member to enjoy the full benefits of Ricochet:

Ricochet: The Right People, The Right Tone, The Right Place.  Join today!

Already a Member? Sign In