The Truth about the Golden Globes
Our illustrious Bill McGurn just put out a call to Rob Long wondering why Ricky Gervais's caustic remarks at the Golden Globes has caused a stink. I'm not Rob Long, but I can talk authoritatively about the Golden Globes, having two of them myself. (How's that for obnoxious Hollywood self-promotion?) They were for Best Comedy, one for Frasier and one for Roseanne. I was part of a team of writers in both cases so the honor is shared.
Within the industry the Golden Globes are known as a joke. No one really knows who the "Foreign Press Association" really is, though it is widely referred to as a group of part time writers/full time waiters. And it's known as an award easily bought. Hence the famous Pia Zadora Best Actress win of many years ago. Whereas TV and film academy awards are truly voted on by your peers.
It's known as a petty little group with no accountability and a thirst for cash. And here's a little secret: When I won my awards, a TV show was given ONE Golden Globe. One cheap piece of marble and bad gold plate. You have to buy your own...fifteen years ago it was $500. Who knows what it is now, if it is still true. Which I tend to believe it is. Now sometimes the studio is classy, or the show runners are classy and they buy it for you. Carsey-Warner was not in the case of Roseanne. My writing partner bought me mine for my birthday. I refused to part with the dough.
That being said, it's an industry full of insecure people with bottomless pits of need, so we all clamor for the award anyway. And the studios obviously buy into it for promotional purposes. It's the best red carpet going.
Ricky Gervais knows this and went for it. His humor is based on truth and he went for that too: Tom Hanks IS currently a way bigger star than Tim Allen. Bruce Willis IS old enough to be Ashton Kutcher's dad. Sandra Bullock wouldn't take public transit now unless her life depended on it. The truth does not play well in a crowd where your next job could be reliant on Bruce Willis or Ashton Kutcher or Sandra Bullock and they're at the table with you. You can hear the half-laughs throughout the night. I, on the other hand, was rolling on my couch. But only at about a third of his jokes. Some didn't land, but that could be the nature of the poor feedback of the audience.
So that's my take on the Golden Globes. It's all wonderful smoke and mirrors here in Tinsel Town. And when I told this all to my daughter, she asked if that were the case, do I even care that I have two of the little statues in my office. You bet I do!
- Comment (16)
- · Quote
- · UnfollowFollow (3)
Comments :
Re: The Truth about the Golden Globes
Fascinating! Thanks for this post. Love hearing stories from the inside.
Years ago I did a column trying to list all the different award ceremonies actors actually go to during a single year. I ran out of space.
Jul '10
Re: The Truth about the Golden Globes
Denise, I respect you greatly.
But I will not stand for your slander against Pia Zadora..
Which fine actress will be next to suffer the lacerations of your wicked pen? Mariah Carey?
Aug '10
Re: The Truth about the Golden Globes
Ricky can get away with it because his career doesn't depend on mass appeal and acceptance by the Hollywood elite. He's made his money by licencing The Office concept around the world. He gets his creative kicks through his podcasts, and books, and BBC shows, etc, etc.
The work he gets in Hollywood is just gravy, really. It's not the locus of his professional life.
Aug '10
Re: The Truth about the Golden Globes
So basically, the only difference between the Golden Globes and a "Congratulations, you've been accepted for the next edition of Who's Who" spam message is that the latter doesn't have a red carpet primetime tv broadcast.
Aug '10
Re: The Truth about the Golden Globes
You are a clever writer, Denise.
Sep '10
Re: The Truth about the Golden Globes
Well, all I can say is I'm insecure and a wannabe writer who would love to send you a private message or two as I wind my way through my Screenplay-That-Will-Never-Be-Written so tell The Logo to hurry it up or I can't win my Golden Snow Globe before the TSA confiscates it.
Re: The Truth about the Golden Globes
Denise! You and me both! When I was asked to buy a Globe, of course I said no. And it wasn't $500, it was $750. And back then the Globes were a joke. I remember my first time, I was young (about 25) and of course never left home without some cash. But the Globes has a cash bar at the back -- you get as much wine as you want on the table, but the bar is strictly cash only -- and it was the first year that everyone actually turned out, so the place was packed with famous people and movie stars and industry heavyweights -- none of whom ever carry any cash at all. So for a while, I was the most popular person at the bar.
Re: The Truth about the Golden Globes
Also, Denise is being a little too diplomatic: The Hollywood Foreign Press Association was, for years, about 7 Serbian journalists with a Beverly Hills PO box. The entire event was for sale -- awards and all -- and in many ways probably still is.
The growth of the Globes is really interesting, especially for old timers like me and Denise. Back in the day (as the kids put it) it was a small, silly booze up, and half of the people didn't bother to turn up. And it was only broadcast locally, on channel 5, I think. But sometime around 1994 it got big, went national, and started to get the reputation of being an Oscar-predictor. After that, it didn't get any more, um, clean, but it did become a must-attend event.
Re: The Truth about the Golden Globes
PS: Denise, were you around that first big year, before anyone had organized an after-party, and about half of the audience went to Trader Vic's afterwards (which used to be in the Beverly Hilton)? It was amazing -- a conga line, of famous faces, all walking into Vic's at once. I remember that Kathy Bates won that year, but didn't have a quarter to call her mom and tell her (this was before everyone always had a cell phone, and before the Globes was televised nationally) and I gave her my AT&T calling card to make the call.
That was a fun night.
Sep '10
Re: The Truth about the Golden Globes
The Hollywood Foreign Press Association was, for years, about 7 Serbian journalists with a Beverly Hills PO box.
I seem to recall Roger Ebert (back when he wasn't completely off his gord) saying that it was basically a bunch of foreign cab drivers, waiters and hollywood hangers on whose sole distinction was they'd watched a movie once and hailed from a non US country.
Jul '10
Re: The Truth about the Golden Globes
This is enlightening and almost as hilarious as Mr. Gervais (who totally won me over 30 seconds in with his crack about closetted Scientologists).
But all that said...I still want one. A Golden Globe, not a closetted Scientologist. Got enough of those on hand as it is.
Sep '10
Re: The Truth about the Golden Globes
A Golden Globe, not a closetted Scientologist. Got enough of those on hand as it is.
Very, very funny comment. Well done.
Re: The Truth about the Golden Globes
Jonathan, I'm happy to sell one of mine to you. But they've gone up.
Re: The Truth about the Golden Globes
I'd sell one, if I had bought one.
Globes, that it. Not closeted Scientologists. Those are expensive.
May '10
Re: The Truth about the Golden Globes
What was funny and not was that none of the people who were roasted had the class to strike back in public like old school hollywood. Apparently fly girl JLo went backstage and threatened to beat up Gervais with her husband if he made fun of her.
Opie and Anthony made this point, nobody went Archie Bunker "Oh Mr. Davis, would you like coffee and cream in your eye?" They went Sean Penn defending Jude Law at the 2005 Oscars.
Even Carrell couldn't come up with a decent quip, something about Gervais' low grossing film Ghost Town. They all ended up looking like they deserved to be roasted.
And now, Vincent Price roasts Bette Davis.
Edited on Jan 19, 2011 at 4:38pmOct '10
Re: The Truth about the Golden Globes
Imagine, this year's Golden Globes nominated "The Tourist" for best picture. ewww...