The North Should Build a Fence
This problem has been ignored for far too long. Unauthorized immigration by Southerners into wealthy Northern states is draining the Northern economy and changing our way of life. Finally, a solution.
Uneducated, impoverished, and with a poor command of English, Southerners are invading by the millions. Between 1900 and 1970, over twenty million undocumented Southerners crossed the border into the North. Millions more have come since then, seeking to take advantage of our robust economies and generous social benefits.
The numbers cited above tell only half the story, however. The Total Fertility Rate--that is, the number of children an average woman will have over her lifetime--is dramatically higher for Southerners. Mississippi's TFR, for example, is 2.26, while Vermont's is a far more civilized 1.69 (far below replacement rate.) If just half the population of Mississippi immigrated to Vermont, there would be more Southerners than Northerners in that state within a single generation! Such an influx would place an enormous burden on our public school systems, hospitals, unemployment offices, and police force.
It's not just that they're uneducated, gun-wielding maniacs, though. Southern culture is very different from Northern culture. We in the North prefer active lifestyles and healthy eating. Southerners seem to care only for driving their pick-up trucks from the local BBQ joint to the nearest Wing Stop. One look around Times Square will confirm it: the only fat people around are wearing shorts and have cameras slung over their necks. Thus the Southern immigrants pose a public health concern too. The average BMI in the North has increased dramatically in the past 30 years, though it thankfully still lags behind that of our neighbors to the South.
Perhaps if they learned the language we'd be more welcoming. But they sternly refuse to speak proper English, preferring instead their own incomprehensible dialect. "Y'all" and "might could" are making their way into the casual conversations of Northern gentlemen with alarming speed. How long before we're all speaking with a twang?
My proposal, then, is to build a fence across the waistline of this great nation of ours. The Mason-Dixon line would be a fine starting point for compromise, but we may wish to keep Maryland on our side so as not to lose Washington, DC. We'll still have immigration, of course, but on a vastly reduced scale. Highly educated Southerners (Ph. Ds, M.D.s) or those with special skills which cannot readily be found in the North will still be able to obtain work visas easily. The rest, who would simply be a drain on our economy, will simply have to wait their turn. Ten years seems fair.
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Comments:
Jun '10
Re: The North Should Build a Fence
Tommy De Seno: I wouldn't want to lose the Southern solider - always seemed a special, patriotic breed to me.
As a Yankee, I love the south, and have long dreamed of moving there. I feel so comfortable when I'm down there.
Whenever I watch a movie where the characters have a Sourther drawl, I suddenly have one too for the next few days.
Just envy, I guess. · 5 hours ago
Bring it down this way, buddy, we'd love to have you! Half of my neighbors are from either Jersey or New York, by way of Florida. You'll fit right in.
Jun '10
Re: The North Should Build a Fence
Keith Preston
Y'all got your "panties wadded" first because the nation elected a man who believed a man should be able to enjoy the fruits of his labor. Abe was a "right-to-work" kinda guy before the South acted like they invented it or something. ;) · 3 hours ago
We've perfected it, though, and it's why the fence will give us some economic payback for Reconstruction. What with union contracting rules and all the graft inherent in Northern transportation projects, y'all will be bankrupt before the foundation is laid.
Re: The North Should Build a Fence
Casey Taylor
Tommy De Seno: I wouldn't want to lose the Southern solider - always seemed a special, patriotic breed to me.
As a Yankee, I love the south, and have long dreamed of moving there. I feel so comfortable when I'm down there.
Whenever I watch a movie where the characters have a Sourther drawl, I suddenly have one too for the next few days.
Just envy, I guess. · 5 hours ago
Bring it down this way, buddy, we'd love to have you! Half of my neighbors are from either Jersey or New York, by way of Florida. You'll fit right in. · 33 minutes ago
It's in the life plan, my friend, and hopefully before I'm limited to one of those over 65 joints in Florida.
Sep '10
Re: The North Should Build a Fence
I'd prefer that Wisconsin just as soon become a Canadian province. What do you say, Canucks? We'll bring lots of beer, brats, and who knows, some day we might all be cheering on PM Walker.
Oct '10
Re: The North Should Build a Fence
It's nice to see that one person responded cogently to this issues that this post raised. Thanks, Robert.
Not JMR, I don't understand why you are proposing to PM your reply to Robert. Your ability to respond to his comments will show how well you grasp the issues raised in your post. You need to defend your position in public.
Out of curiosity--and I ask this out of genuine curiosity, not because I mean to attack your post as it stands--have you spent significant amounts of time in both the Southern US and Mexico--enough time to conclude that your analogy is apt? If so, then that experience bolsters your claim. If not, then it calls your claim into question.
As Locke said, it takes "wit" (old meaning) to perceives similarities, but "judgment" to perceive differences.
Jun '10
Re: The North Should Build a Fence
Tommy De Seno
Casey Taylor
Bring it down this way, buddy, we'd love to have you! Half of my neighbors are from either Jersey or New York, by way of Florida. You'll fit right in. · 33 minutes ago
It's in the life plan, my friend, and hopefully before I'm limited to one of those over 65 joints in Florida. · 2 hours ago
You'd be hard-pressed to beat the Southern Appalachians. We still have four seasons, none of them extreme, and it's absolutely gorgeous everywhere you go up here. It even smells great.
The little everyday courtesies that make life glide along so pleasantly are still widely practiced, here, as well, and that's priceless.
Nov '10
Re: The North Should Build a Fence
I am guilty of teasing in my earlier posts; I confess and ask for pardon.
What y'all will find, if you spend time in Southern States, is that they are not alike in many things and that various parts of the same states are different, too.
I have lived my life in Alabama, but, as I discovered when I married, the "Gone With the Wind" South is quite different from the northern part of Alabama (the hill country, not the Tennessee River Valley) where my roots are. The economy and race relations have been noticeably different.
There are, of course, certain patterns of behavior and attitudes, in particular a chivalrous attitude toward ladies and a noticeable bellicosity toward "outsiders" who want to tell us what and how to do, that seem universal in this part of the world.
I know little about Mexico, but from what I have read, the whole of what I think of as Spanish America is afflicted with the attitudes and habits of Spain, sharp social class divisions and a disdain for entrepreneurship and people who do actual work for a living. That would not fit well here, where "rural virtues" are valued.
Nov '10
Re: The North Should Build a Fence
Fair enough. It's just that I intended to take a couple of days rather than hours to think about it. I also didn't think there was much interest among the members in a long back and forth on Aristotelian approaches to immigration policy.
J. D. Fitzpatrick:
Out of curiosity--and I ask this out of genuine curiosity, not because I mean to attack your post as it stands--have you spent significant amounts of time in both the Southern US and Mexico--enough time to conclude that your analogy is apt?
I've spent no time in Mexico and a sum total of a year or two in Southern states. I am, however, of Dominican descent and spent a good chunk of my childhood there. Spanish was my first language. My post was intended to be a comment on immigration and borders generally, not specific to Mexico.
Oct '10
Re: The North Should Build a Fence
Not JMR
Fair enough. It's just that I intended to take a couple of days rather than hours to think about it. I also didn't think there was much interest among the members in a long back and forth on Aristotelian approaches to immigration policy.
Understood. Maybe Aristotelian analysis of the polis would merit a separate thread.
Nov '10
Re: The North Should Build a Fence
One quick counterpoint to the following, having thought it through a little:
Robert Lux
Regime (politeia) is not equivalent to arrangement of laws and constitution. As Codevilla nicely puts it in his indispensableThe Character of Nations, a rather Aristotelian book:
Perhaps Codevilla feels the idea of the politeia/regime/constitution should extend to "the sum of what his prominent in society--the reigning ideas, loves and hates, fashions and phobias, hymns and epithets," but I cannot agree that this is what Aristotle was referring to in his use of the term. His politeia is something between "government" and "institutions" or laws.
With respect to the matter/form distinction, we can agree that the matter of the polis is its inhabitants. The form, again, I would insist is the government/institutions. I can see room for a little give-and-take on this, but to claim that Aristotle here means "culture" seems a bit of a stretch.
If you're merely expressing your concerns that our culture would be somehow irreparably harmed by the mass influx of immigrants, I would argue that 250 years of our history indicates otherwise.
Edited on April 21, 2012 at 1:39pmNov '10
Re: The North Should Build a Fence
cont'd:
If, on the other hand, your concern is the malign influence of immigrants on our laws/institutions, I'd argue that open immigration with closed citizen rolls (allowing them to live as resident aliens without voting rights) would be infinitely preferable to the current system.
Finally:
Robert Lux
But not every matter (113 million transplanted Mexicans, Russians, or whoever) can accept every form. Open immigration is folly.
I agree that not every immigrant is capable of embracing civic duty with the same gusto as some natural-born Americans. But Aristotle is very clear on this point: the city doesn't have to consist entirely of virtuous citizens--indeed he deems that impossible.
Edited on April 21, 2012 at 1:35pmJun '10
Re: The North Should Build a Fence
Foxman
So you do acknowledge that the North won? This could make you an exception. · Apr 20 at 3:54am
Edited on Apr 20 at 5:43am
The South won the War of Northern Aggression. When ya'll tried to kick us out, we beat you, that's why we're still part of these United States.
May '10
Re: The North Should Build a Fence
Watching all of the southern members getting butthurt with delight.
Oct '10
Re: The North Should Build a Fence
There's a simple, practical solution to curb future problems with illegal immigration. First, stop providing free public schooling to non-citizens. Two, abolish birthright citizenship. Do that, and you won't need a fence. Do that, and you'll attract only da workers, not their dependents and children.
I don't see the mexican workers as "immigrants". They're in the U.S. to look for work. They're in the U.S. to earn money. But the dependents and children they brought in illegally to the U.S. is another issue.
Republicans shouldn't shy away from immigration reform. They should see this as an opportunity, an opening, to finally get rid of some of the policies that drive illegal immigration and cost border states money.
Oct '10
Re: The North Should Build a Fence
Not JMR:
If you're merely expressing your concerns that our culture would be somehow irreparably harmed by the mass influx of immigrants, I would argue that 250 years of our history indicates otherwise. · Apr 20 at 11:59pm
Edited 22 hours ago
This time though, it's different. Because of Mexico.