The Narcissism of Small Differences
It's an authentic American cultural tradition to descend into collective hysteria about race relations every few years. I don't want to spoil anyone's fun, but it's wise to remember this: If you take any two Americans of any race and drop them into a crowded Karachi-Calcutta third-class mail train compartment together, they'll form an instant alliance. That would be why the army is America's most successful example of racial integration.
Perhaps this seems more obvious to me than it does to most because I tend to find myself in places where Americans are fairly rare. But really, Americans who encounter each other in remote places act like dogs meeting in Central Park. They do not think, "Hey, I'm a Schnauzer and you're a border collie." They think "Another dog like me! Another dog like me!"
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Apr '12
Re: The Narcissism of Small Differences
I'd love to agree without reservation, Claire. But, my suspicion is that the further left one is, the less likely one would feel the way you describe.
Re: The Narcissism of Small Differences
Oh, just yesterday I ran into the original self-righteous Leftist-cliche woman--Duke University English Department graduate!--and we got on like a house on fire. She was the first American I'd seen in months.
Jun '10
Re: The Narcissism of Small Differences
Very funny, Claire. And, I think, very accurate...at least for a certain period of time.
Mar '11
Re: The Narcissism of Small Differences
My own experiences living abroad on multiple occasions tends to confirm your judgment of things.
If you happen to live in a non-English speaking country, I'd even extend it, to a certain degree, to Canadians, Brits, and others of the Anglosphere whom you may happen to run into. But the bond is especially close, I think, among Americans.
Apr '11
Re: The Narcissism of Small Differences
I think that this is true, to an extent, but not to such a great extent that Claire's generalization is not valuable. I'd also note that the exception is probably only true of a limited subset of social liberals. Economic lefties and most social liberals tend to be Americans first. Plus, I don't think it's a one way thing; I've known Americans who turned up their nose at hippies abroad. It's the cultural distaste that can separate people, not the politics, generally. The Belinski phenomenon, as I understand her, is one of the diminution of differences, not their obliteration; not all dogs in Central Park like each other, either.
Sep '10
Re: The Narcissism of Small Differences
So that's where the job search is taking English department graduates these days.
Sep '10
Re: The Narcissism of Small Differences
I have no evidence other than a few anecdotes but it seems to me that Americans are self conscious about our prejudices and actually hold them less dear as a result. I once rode the train to Munich with a Bavarian fellow who told me in great detail about the stubborn,rigidity of the Prussians and all of the other stereotypes of the various lesser Germans. I cani't imagine an American giving the same guided tour to a German in the US in anything but jest.
Feb '12
Re: The Narcissism of Small Differences
I have two experiences, one from China in the mid 1980's, exactly like you said. Two semester breaks I traveled with people on the opposite spectrum with me and not only that but the people we met casually it was a pretty much instant bond.
Later (mid 1990's to present) in China and north Thailand, more distant, often don't even make eye contact or acknowledge the other. But if you're stuck in line (eg getting visas at the Thai-Lao border) no problem at all getting to know each other.
Maybe reciprocal warmth comes in part from how often you see your fellow kind. You said she was the first you'd seen in months, maybe if it's more often as in days it would make a difference.
Big cities (in my experience) makes a difference. On the Bangkok BTS or subway, just about zero acknowledgment of another Westerner. And situation makes a difference. if you're on an overnight train in Asia there's no problem bonding. Many good experiences on trains.
Oct '10
Re: The Narcissism of Small Differences
The sad US truth is race relations are (and always have been) politicized for electoral advantage. George Wallace famously said, after an election in which an even more rabid racist defeated him, that he was “out (N-worded)” by his opponent. Obama is happy to have the Trayvon Martin case to distract people from his horrible record of negative achievements on issues like jobs and fuel prices. America’s First Black President could—if he wanted to—end the hate-hysteria being ginned up by African American leaders with a 30-word press release. But he sees electoral advantage in letting the Whites Hate Blacks narrative play on until November.
Re: The Narcissism of Small Differences
Years ago, while a student at Oxford, I found that if you took a bunch of Americans -- some white and some black -- and dropped them into the UK, they too would form friendships.
Sep '10
Re: The Narcissism of Small Differences
Another astute observation about the quirky dynamics of the us-them gene.
Jul '10
Re: The Narcissism of Small Differences
I was raised in a very mixed race neighborhood and went to mixed race public schools for all levels. No self-conscious attempt to cultivate cross friendships was ever required. In junior high I came on a scene where a close friend was being taunted by a mob for being an oreo. The mob itself was a "rainbow coalition" of asians, hispanics, and a couple of blacks. He was ready to take them all on (the effect they were after). I threw him over my shoulder and carried him kicking and cursing to the principal's office to make a report.
The neighborhood was so mixed it was bizarre. After awhile affiliations arose among my friends that chilled the relationship. One became a Nazi, another joined the JDL. They were still chums, which meant that my chilling to the former came to extend to the latter.
All before graduating junior high school. Another thread last night sent me to the violent crime statistics. Over a generation after gangster rap, black violence is over the top. No one in this election cycle has the moral authority to address and reverse that nationally, but the vast majority of victims are blacks themselves.
Jul '10
Re: The Narcissism of Small Differences
Afterthought: Perhaps this alone is sufficient cause for supporting Col. West for VP. (Of course, it is terribly paternalistic to suggest that a solution must come from outside the black community. Or so I'm told.)
Happy Easter.
Apr '11
Re: The Narcissism of Small Differences
Dropping a splash of rain on the American love parade, but it's likely that the Americans one runs into while traveling internationally are from similar socio-economic backgrounds. Middle and upper class Americans travel internationally - for the most part. The lower classes don't.
If you place a group of Americans who have similar cultural pegs (pop culture references, college and work experiences, sports and hobby interests) together - yes, they'll feel close to one another. But try it with Americans of different classes and wait for the crickets to chirp.
Claire, a professional writer, got along well with a well educated American who happens to be a professor of English. I wonder how famously they would have got on if this women as a waitress with a passion for Dancing with the Stars and romance novels.
Edited on April 8, 2012 at 6:02pmRe: The Narcissism of Small Differences
Nope. I've seen it happen with Americans of vastly different class backgrounds. People from lower-class backgrounds do travel--at least enough for me to have confirmed this thesis entirely to my satisfaction. Put the black former crack dealer from Watts who's now supporting himself playing drums on the nightclub circuit in Bangkok in the same Patpong Road girlie bar as the middle-class white girl from Seattle who grew up in a world of manicured lawns and chamber music and within five minutes they'll be gossiping conspiratorially about how weird these Thai people are.
I was the middle-class white girl, of course.
Re: The Narcissism of Small Differences
Lady Bertrum: I wonder how famously they would have got on if this women as a waitress with a passion for Dancing with the Stars and romance novels. · 17 minutes ago
Edited 11 minutes ago
It would entirely be a function of the alienness of the culture in which we met. We meet in Britain, we'll have little in common. We meet in the central highlands of Vietnam, we'll be best friends in no time.
Mar '11
Re: The Narcissism of Small Differences
But try it with Americans of different classes and wait for the crickets to chirp.
Claire mentioned the military in her post. My experience has been that folks come from all over, and get along reasonably well. I'm willing to stipulate that the rigors of military life might have no small part to do with that, but I'd still say they share more than what separates them.
May '10
Re: The Narcissism of Small Differences
Please - feel free to spoil this fun to your heart's content.
Claire Berlinski, Ed.: If you take any two Americans of any race and drop them into a crowded Karachi-Calcutta third-class mail train compartment together, they'll form an instant alliance. That would be why the army is America's most successful example of racial integration.
Perhaps this seems more obvious to me than it does to most because I tend to find myself in places where Americans are fairly rare. But really, Americans who encounter each other in remote places act like dogs meeting in Central Park. They donotthink, "Hey, I'm a Schnauzer and you're a border collie." They think "Another dog like me! Another dog like me!"
Amen.
Re: The Narcissism of Small Differences
I also seem to recall that in the aftermath of September 11, many observed that unprecedented racial harmony had fallen upon the land. Not really a coincidence, that.
Jun '10
Re: The Narcissism of Small Differences
Claire: Brilliant observation.
The fact is that every American probably belongs to some smaller group, whether defined by geography, race, language, religion, or any of a host of other ways of slicing and dicing the population.
It seems to me that our biggest divides occur when we let the more discrete ways of defining ourselves overwhelm those that unite us. In the Karachi-Calcutta third class coach, our similarities ("We're Americans") far outweigh our differences. Sadly, it is at home that we allow ourselves to be divided.
The key, which is something we're losing, is to sustain a culture of shared values. The beauty of a society that believes in assimilation (that is, a society of shared values) is that it allows us to say, "I'm a [fill in your category of choice], but I'm also an American and proud of it."
Edited on April 8, 2012 at 7:20pm